Some advice please all you mumma's who've been through this(
posted 10th Sep '12
So I practically need some encouraging words or some advice
I have to go back to court on Tuesday so two days . Now BD phoned my solicitor complaining that he can't afford the £130 referal fee for the supervised contact centre and was going to ask for a "discount or for them to pay it" despite the fact he told my solicitor he takes home £2100 a month. He feels that it should be in his own home on his terms etc. Well as my solicitor instructed me to do I contacted the CSA to get him to pay for my LB well they spoke to him and he told them he takes home £1250-1400 a month but panicked when they asked for his wages to be sent in within 7 days. He kept asking if the CSA could ask me to do it privately to work on how much he "wants to pay" and how much "he can afford and still do the stuff he wants" i.e drinking, smoking, parties, clubbing etc.
Now my solicitor kinda got my hopes up that he'll withdraw his case due to the fact I think he'll have to pay it there and then and as he said he can't afford to pay the referal fee let alone the CSA and the £70 hourly rate of contact on top (He'll have to pay £70 even if he gets 15 minute visits).
Or he can ask the court to decide for him my solicitor said due to the concerns (drugs, alcoholic, no experiance with children, threatened to kidnap LB, threatened to kill me, threatened to kill LB when I was pregnant, violent to me, no CAFCASS report etc) they'll most likely decide with me and we'll be back at square 1 and he'll either have to cough up the money there and then or withdraw his application
Well since my solicitor kinda made it seem he's gonna withdraw his application I got my hopes up, now I'm kinda worried if he doesn't withdraw it and lets LB down later on in life because he's unwilling to sacrifice any of the nice things like his 3 series BMW, Virgin, moped, Ford Escort, smoking, drinking, clubbing etc.
I really don't want him seeing LB but If he doesn't withdraw his case I really have no choice and I honestly think they're making the wrong decision letting BD see my son.
Any words of advice or support. It kinda sucks