to train up a child

ever heard of it? i have been looking for a good parenting book, and while i am not opposed to spanking, i do not agree with this book and its teachings on phyical punishment. i do, like the idea of teaching obediance and respect, but im looking for a book that values these issues without promoting spankings. im not saying i wont spank my kids, but def not till they are old enough to understand it, and as a last resort. i think there has to be better ways to teach the issues of obediance and good listening. soooo anyone have any books like this?

is this what you mean?
http://biblearchive.com/blog/2010/apologetics/to-train-up-a-child-an-examination-of-the-pearl-method/

That's the title? Lol. I wouldn't have even picked it up. I don't like the word "train" when it comes to my kids. I like to teach and explore things with them rather than "training" them based off what a book says, personally.

Maybe try looking online for whatever you're looking for. For me, teaching a child about listening and respect doesn't come from a book. I show my 3 year old by setting examples and being patient and understanding with him. That's not to say that you aren't doing that, as well. I guess I'm just not the type to look for books and things on subjects like that. Blah, I'm rambling now.

Good luck!

I've heard of these crack pots and I'd throw their book in the fire if it were me. http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/pastor-corporal-punishment-advice-scrutinized-child-deaths-160004793.html

I like the today's parent magazines / or family circle that sort of stuff .

Quoting Elizabeth 0315:" is this what you mean? http://biblearchive.com/blog/2010/apologetics/to-train-up-a-child-an-examination-of-the-pearl-method/"

thats the right author, but those are excerts, that are taken out of context, (just skimmed it, but was only seeing a few sentences disected from paragraphs i had read in the few chapeter excets online). ive gotten off the link i was reading, and cant find it. i looked on amazon but there is no excert to read. i like the aspects of a child listening to the parent, and doing what they are told, ect, but dont like the spanking aspect.

Quoting Keyboard Warrior.:" That's the title? Lol. I wouldn't have even picked it up. I don't like the word "train" when it comes ... [snip!] ... as well. I guess I'm just not the type to look for books and things on subjects like that. Blah, I'm rambling now. Good luck!"

yes, very lame title, and i dont agree with how they get the outcome of the well behaved childen, i def think children need to listen to mom and dad, but dont think a switch is the way to get there. i know, some kids need their butt whipped but not the young ones. im just trying to figure out how to teach good values and displine. my son is only 13 months old, and he is a sweet little boy, that knows when he is doing something he should do, ie, playing with the cords plugged into the wall. he will look at me, as if to say "i know i shouldnt be doing this, but are you going to say something?" and i do, i calmly say, "no no baby, dont touch" and most of the time it works, he resists, but he is a baby, and sometimes doesnt, so i go over, and say again "no no baby, dont touch" and distract him with something else. but, being a first time mom, im nerves. i see 8 and 9 year olds in walmart acting nuts and out of control, and i dont want that for my family, so i figure start figuring out how to do this now, and hopefully wont have monsters later! haha. wishful thinking right?

Quoting Elizabeth 0315:" I've heard of these crack pots and I'd throw their book in the fire if it were me. http://news.yahoo ... [snip!] ... I like the today's parent magazines / or family circle that sort of stuff ."

yikkeess!! i didnt read the book, just a few chapters, and it didnt really go into details about the punishment, just the importance of spanking. but like i said, i am not for this. and i also belive there is a huge differnce in spanking and abuse. that crap is just flat out abuse! i got my butt busted as a kid, but it def was not abuse, and i dont have any daddy issues, lol, and i dont resent my parents at all. so def a differnce. but i still dont think i could spank. my son is only 13 months old tho, ask me again when im dealing with a teenager! haha

Quoting Mandy Evans:" yikkeess!! i didnt read the book, just a few chapters, and it didnt really go into details about the ... [snip!] ... but i still dont think i could spank. my son is only 13 months old tho, ask me again when im dealing with a teenager! haha"

Yeah I read a bit of it too and honestly these people sicken me. I see your son's close to my son's age he's 15 months old . He's going through the same thing as yours with the bathing and diaper changes, mine is also into biting me which isn't fun. I found a way to get mine to sit on bum bum in the tub tho, he has bath toys and hates them lol so I had some old shampoo bottles and a water jug he loves to fill them up and pour them back out.

Quoting Elizabeth 0315:" Yeah I read a bit of it too and honestly these people sicken me. I see your son's close to my son's ... [snip!] ... bath toys and hates them lol so I had some old shampoo bottles and a water jug he loves to fill them up and pour them back out."

for the most part he is amazing, i know i post alot of "help me!" topics, lol, but thats only bc im so afraid im doing something wrong. he does so much, that just amazes me, and 90 pecent of the time, he is a very very well behaved little boy. i got a bath mat, and toys, which he could care less about, but the bath mat at least keeps him safer standing, decided to let that battle go, as long as he is safe (which of course standing in the tub is never safe, but def safer than me trying to keep him on his bottom) great idea w the empty bottles! he does loovee bottles, i cant believe i never thought of that!! thank you! being a mom, and responsible for a little person is stressfull. i wish i just knew how to raise a good well behaved boy, im so afraid im doing something to screw it up. and, hes the first baby ive been around since my younger brother was a baby 18 years ago, so im not really sure whats "normal" behavor and whats not.

Quoting Mandy Evans:" yes, very lame title, and i dont agree with how they get the outcome of the well behaved childen, i def ... [snip!] ... so i figure start figuring out how to do this now, and hopefully wont have monsters later! haha. wishful thinking right?"

For me, spanking isn't an option. I'm firmly believe that I can teach my kids things without being physical. I do know that it works for others, though. And I agree, shouldn't be used on younger children. There's a big difference between being disciplined and punished, and I will try my hardest to avoid punishment by instilling discipline first. KWIM? Kids will be kids sometimes and act up, of course, but you definitely can have well behaved children. It isn't just wishful thinking, it's something you CAN do.

Your baby is still little, you have plenty of time to see what works for him and what doesn't. As he gets older and understands more, you will more than likely change what you do and/or say when it comes to him listening to you. It's not just one way forever, y'know? It'll change and such as they get older. My son is only 3 (well, he will be in a month) and I think I've done a pretty good job at teaching him manners and to listen to adults, do what he's told, etc. I am lucky that he's always been a calm, easy kid, but I do give myself credit for keeping up with that.

Rambling again. If you ever need advice or anything, PM me! I'm always willing to talk and give advice, if I can  

Quoting Keyboard Warrior.:" For me, spanking isn't an option. I'm firmly believe that I can teach my kids things without being physical. ... [snip!] ... that. Rambling again. If you ever need advice or anything, PM me! I'm always willing to talk and give advice, if I can  "

Thank you very much!!!! manners, kindness, all big things in my book. all things my parents taugh us, but i was young and have no idea how they taught it to us! lol. i ask my mom and she says "hunny, that was almost 30 years ago, i dont remember!" haha!!! thank you for the info, tho! much appricated!

It would be easier if the came with a how to book hahaha . I had those same worries at 18 with my first. 80 % love 10% correction 10% understanding   best advice I've been given. I'm 35 now and on baby number 4 . If I can help in any way drop me a line. My oldest is now 16 almost 17 and maybe had 5 slaps in her life , my rule is if it's life threatening behavior ... say running out onto the road as a toddler , that would be a tap on the bum. I found that it's really more talking and explaining things when they are older. Both my teens are , polite, respectful and all around good girls. The books can help but mostly it's trial and error. Does Nanny 911 have books out? the show is really good I bet they'd have tons of good advice.

teaching manors is easy really. When you give him something say thanks and when he points to stuff later say juice .. say do you want your juice please? or juice please. my son says pees and tank now lol
grabbing things from my hand like toys are what we are working on now. I'll gently take it back and hold it out for him and say here shayden take it easy ..now he's holding out his hand and saying pees he still forgets but he's learning. We clap a lot when he gets it right and lots of praise .

Quoting Elizabeth 0315:" It would be easier if the came with a how to book hahaha . I had those same worries at 18 with my first. ... [snip!] ... but mostly it's trial and error. Does Nanny 911 have books out? the show is really good I bet they'd have tons of good advice."

i love that 80-10-10!!! such a good, simple concept!! thank you! im glad im not the only one that has worried they are doing something wrong, im sure my confidence will grow the longer im a mom. i have never seen nanny 911, but have heard of it, thats the show with the british women right? and i agree, life threatening yes, which is one of the few times i have smacked his hand, when he was attempting to pull the flat screen off the stand, scared the hell out of me, and he hasnt tried it since thank god. i want to have a big family, but also want to make sure im rasing the kids right. sigh, something tells me i will always worry though! how old is your son that says pees and tanks (sooo freaking cute)!! i say it to my son all the time, but so far, all he says is "dog" and "dilk" (milk). we play the "thank you" game tho, where we hand things back and forth while i say "thank you". so im hoping he will start repeating it back to me soon!

My son is 15 almost 16 months. He's slow walking still holds my fingers but seems to be doing everything else really well   I wanted a huge family too but we had a problem with my hubby's health so we decided not to have any more till he was healthy again. The age differences are 16 year old almost 17 and then 13 almost 14 and now 15 months and I'm almost 4 months along . This is my last as I'm 35 now .
Yeah they are the British women anything I've watched about them seems logical and consistent .
I never slapped mine at that age about 2.5 close to 3 , at this age I find they really don't understand so it's more taking them away and redirection , I don;t th I started with an old concept that worked well for us. it's called 1,2,3, magic . I'll see if I can find it and link it to you. If you have facebook we can chat back and forth if you'd like? I'll inbox my face book for u k?