Grandma at it AGAIN!!!

I freaking can't stand my grandma, I try to be nice, I try to explain things to her, I try ignoring her but It just does NOT stop. I am THISCLOSE to just not talking to her again
Back story, My DD is 3 and has a speech and motor delays, in all reality she is more like a 18mo old then a 3yo in terms of her behavior.
Well my grandma refuses to believe there is ANYTHING wrong with DD and get PISSED OFF that she is not potty trained yet (we are working on it, and were almost there, then she had to have heart surgery in July and she regressed back to square on) and tells her, SHAME ON YOU for not using the potty and how nasty it is. (Yet her other Great-Grandson who is developmentally normal still uses a pacifier at 2 1/2 and she says that he is just a baby and does not have to give it up.)
Grandma makes fun of ME for allowing DD to ride the "Short bus" home from her special ed preschool
She gets mad at DD when DD says something she can not understand.
and tell me EVERYTIME i see her, that PEOPLE should only have 2 kids (I have 3 and DD is my baby) because the more kids you have the more chances there are for defects and problems....Plus no on NEEDS more then 2 kids now a days.

Mom and Dad, tell me to just ignore her, but it hurts that she doesn't seem to like DD who is a very loving and happy child despite her delays. I want to tell her something but then all hell would break loose in the family, plus I have TRIED talking to her and she just ignores me!! I stay away as much as possible, but she is always at my dad's house and my older 2 love her so I do go visit like once a month and she starts up this smurf right away!!

Quoting Olivia Foxworth:" I freaking can't stand my grandma, I try to be nice, I try to explain things to her, I try ignoring her ... [snip!] ... is always at my dad's house and my older 2 love her so I do go visit like once a month and she starts up this smurf right away!!"

Cut the toxic people out of your child's life before your child is scarred by their actions/words.
Personal opinion, I've done it with a few people. Family and non.

I wouldnt be able to handle that....she seems like a mean old bag!! Sorry momma, I would say, drop off the older kids for a couple hours so they can visit, and go do something just you a DD, she as she gets older will start to notice her being a douche, there is no reason for it, and 3 children are a blessing, hell if you had 6 everyone of them would be a blessing!! tell her to shut it!

I would just ignore her completely and if she says something to the child then stand up for her!!!!

Quoting kelsey054:" I would just ignore her completely and if she says something to the child then stand up for her!!!!"

Oh believe me I do, but then she just acts like she never said that or I am nuts!!

Oh lord.
I have problems with my grandmother too.
she STILL criticizes me, and tells me i should have gotten an abortion, and DS is 3 YEARS OLD!
talks about how i must have cheated my way thru high school, cuz she knew i wouldn't make it at all. and on my graduation day, didn't say a word to me. left before i got outside to take pictures..
I'm personally to the point where i don't speak to her..
when shes around, i just ignore her presence as much as possible to avoid confrontation. I don't know how easy it is for you to do that, but just try to distance yourself and DD from her.
hopefully she'll realize how she's acting.

Props for not saying something thus far. i sure know i would have! Even my mother would have!

I would tell her to shut her old smurfing ass mouth!!! She's an old bitch!!

That is so wrong and hurtful. One day your LO is going to be able to understand everything she is saying about her...Forget how everyone else would feel..I would say something everytime she pulled that smurf!

If that means to not bring her around her then you gotta do what you have to do to protect her from that verbal abuse. Thats just wrong!

momma with all due respect.... tell that women that it's your responsibility to protect your baby from that negativity and to stop being mean or that she's out of you and your baby's life.
I understand you family thinking she's older and just ignore her. But sadly they aren't being very good as grand parents themselves, they are nurturing the wrong one! Your grandmother doesn't see your baby is a gift which she is she sees her as flawed. Don't feel one bit bad for standing up for your little one.