I woke up out of my sleep this morning missing my daughter. I wanted to cry so bad. It was about 5 or 6 am and I felt like I was reliving that day. I could feel the pain from the loss. My heart and body felt so empty. I was laying in my bed the same way I was laying in the hospital bed after they took her away. I remembered hearing the babies next door crying. Then it went back further to earlier that day when I was contracting but didn't know. I remembered how odd I felt that day. And that scary moment I went to the bathroom and saw the blood. And as I was remembering the moment I pushed her out and got to hold her I drifted back to sleep. I really hate myself for losing her. Life would be so different. I wouldn't feel so incomplete.i guess this is a pointless post. I just wanted to share because that had never happened to me since I lost her 4yrs ago and it felt so strange. Mommy loves you tinkabutt
I've had many days like that when mourning the loss of our son, at 31 wks last October.
Even now expecting our rainbow is hard. I'm just ready to have him here safely already.
I'm sorry for your loss and that you're having a difficult time. ♥
I'm also in disbelief that they allowed you to move up to the mother and baby suites/wing after you delivered. At the hospital I delivered at last year, they kept me in L&D the whole time, until I went home the next day. They even wheeled me out through an alternative route so I wouldn't have to see the nursery or any other happy mommies and babies.
I'm sorry you went through that. I know it was hard.