UGH. Why do I have to have emotions?!

I don't WANT to feel upset because he's not worth my time my thoughts my breath NOTHING. But I can't help but want to beat the plaster off of my walls seeing him hook up with people and now have a new girlfriend in MY smurfing house. The one that SHOULD have been ours... but no... he had to be the biggest peice of smurf on the face of planet: Lie, cheat, manipulate, abuse... and yet HE gets to be happy and go about his life like nothing and ONCE AGAIN I am stuck struggling to find work because I am a single parent and therefor am hardly getting by. I'm not worthless. I am not ugly. I am not evil. I am amazing. I am beautiful. I am giving. I am caring. I am faithful. I am loving. I am AMAZING..... but I AM SICK of never getting back what I put in. I dont want to be upset. I wish I could just cut my smurfing heart out because I am so SmUrfING SICK of him being able to make me feel this way.

it seems like the best people have the hardest times im sorry momma

Do you need him to live there? And why isn't there a rule about new people you guys date? Like go to them, don't bring them to the house not even the drive way. And don't even make it known that you are dating someone else. After you have a kid together, you can't just be over someone. It doesn't mean you want them.

Quoting lil*Mama*Bear™:" Do you need him to live there? And why isn't there a rule about new people you guys date? Like go to ... [snip!] ... that you are dating someone else. After you have a kid together, you can't just be over someone. It doesn't mean you want them."

No. I moved out and got a new place. He couldn't afford to get one so I just took my name off the lease and left my $800 deposit. All I smurfing wanted was a faithful husband who held a job and loved his children. Instead, I have two children who don't have fathers. I didn't give a crap about my son's father after about 2 months. This is just stupid.... probably because I put up with his bullsmurf for years which makes me feel even smurffier. I just wanted a family that wasn't there.

His happiness will be short lived. It may seem all wonderful right now, but reality will hit him soon.

I am sorry you're feeling this way.

I'm really sorry your feeling that way. I know how u feel but a bit different I guess. I left my sons father when he was 6 months old and i was homeless for 3 months and seeing him have another girl in our house sleeping in my bed that i brought there and knowing they were having sex in my bed was hard. She was wearing the sweatshirts that I gave him and that i used to wear. Well after they were together for a few months they split up. well just reciently i found over 200 pics of my son on her facebook profile of her and my son cuddling and just being over obsessive. I left him because he was abbusive towards me and almost hit me when i was holding my son, he made my son watch him hold a knife to his wrists and threaten to kill himself. It was hard at first seeing him with other women but i knew that I did what was right for my child and myself getting us out of the abbusive relationship so he didnt have to see his mommy be treated like dirt and thinks ok to treat women like that. Now after being away from him for almost a year i realize i am much happier and am with a man who loves me and my son like his own family who is willing to work long hours just so i can stay home with the kids ( we are expecting a baby girl in a week or so). I know its tough now but i promise someday it will get better and if u can realize that u and ur child r better off with out him in ur life then u can be happy for you child and find yourself someone who loves you equally and treats u like a queen.
Sorry for ranting but im here if u need to talk. you can always look me up on facebook if u need anybody to talk to, vent to. or just need a friend. My facebook name is alicia.duffy.5. It will get better!!!

Quoting *Turtles*:" His happiness will be short lived. It may seem all wonderful right now, but reality will hit him soon. I am sorry you're feeling this way."

That would be the logical explination right? People with no souls don't feel pain. My son's dad was TERRIBLE but still... three years later, the skank he left me four and him are still happily together. He had the audacity to yell harsh words at me... like having faith in people is such a hate crime.

Quoting Is that still my name?:" That would be the logical explination right? People with no souls don't feel pain. My son's dad was ... [snip!] ... are still happily together. He had the audacity to yell harsh words at me... like having faith in people is such a hate crime."

Maybe one day you will find happiness with someone else. He definitely isn't worth being upset about, but I understand where you're coming from.

Quoting ~*~Conor & Amee~*~:" I'm really sorry your feeling that way. I know how u feel but a bit different I guess. I left my sons ... [snip!] ... if u need anybody to talk to, vent to. or just need a friend. My facebook name is alicia.duffy.5. It will get better!!!"

That made me feel better.... I am happier...soooo much happier already. But it still stings. I'm not even upset at the idea of him knoecking someone up and having an illegit child.... I'm just pissed to keep seeing good things happen to those who least deserve it. I will not lower myself to his standards.... it just means it'll hurt longer but once it's done hurting it'll be happy even longer... or at least that is what I tell myself.

Quoting Is that still my name?:" That made me feel better.... I am happier...soooo much happier already. But it still stings. I'm not ... [snip!] ... just means it'll hurt longer but once it's done hurting it'll be happy even longer... or at least that is what I tell myself."

things may seem better now that you are outside looking in but im sure there is still things going on with him. a zebra doesnt change his stripes over night and people can put up a huge front when need be

Quoting Is that still my name?:" That made me feel better.... I am happier...soooo much happier already. But it still stings. I'm not ... [snip!] ... just means it'll hurt longer but once it's done hurting it'll be happy even longer... or at least that is what I tell myself."

I know it doesn't make sense that the people who are least deserving of happiness seem to get it instead of the ones who do deserve it.

Quoting Sophie's dairy cow:" things may seem better now that you are outside looking in but im sure there is still things going on ... [snip!] ... is still things going on with him. a zebra doesnt change his stripes over night and people can put up a huge front when need be"

Yes. I also know that is true. Very true. I know he is upset and hurting. But he as the ability to put those feelings on mute and occupy his time with whatever the hell he wants. I have to face them every moment of everyday. I drank A LOT when we were together because I was so miserable. And I hate that he saw that side of me and he uses it against me all the time. I think once I change myself I will feel much much better. But that takes a lot of time as well. I had too much heartbreak in the past few years to come through unjaded. It was a slow climb downhill, it'll be a slow climb uphill.

Well i did some things to him that i regret and it pulled us apart. we were together for 5 years and only got along for 6 months of that time. I am very thankful I have my son but some days it hurts me knowing that i dont get to spend every minute of every day with him like i used to after he was born. It is hard seeing him with another woman but just look at ur children and u will see how much happier they are now that their mommy is happy again. Nobody deserves to be treated that way no matter what they did. For me I feel that Karma came after me for 5 years and that was long enough but in the end it brought me the guy im with now who has been my best friend for 3 years and knew what i did to my ex and how he treated me and still didnt judge me. It took me a long time to realize that hes the one i want to have my family with and not with someone like my ex. It just takes time and patience and good things will come to u and u will notice that the bad things r gonna catch up to ur ex.

Quoting ~*~Conor & Amee~*~:" Well i did some things to him that i regret and it pulled us apart. we were together for 5 years and ... [snip!] ... It just takes time and patience and good things will come to u and u will notice that the bad things r gonna catch up to ur ex."

True... and at the same time I don't want to sit her and wish bad things on him even after the countless incredibly horrible things he did to me.... I never have been the karma seeking bitch in the sense that I hope evil people "get theirs". I just care about receiving my good that I give. No one wins when evil people stay evil. But it sucks that there is no going back. I'm sure it is all for the best. I want a man with an education and a drive to be better. He was never that and he never will be.

No i understand where ur coming from. My ex and i never talked, didnt ever spend any time together and when we went places we never held hands infact he would walk far infront of me like i didnt even exist. When we did talk we argued about everything. Its different being treated that way one min then treated with respect the next. I'm not the karma seaking bitch either. I believe each deserves what they give to others and over time good things come to good people.