"Is she excited to be a big sister?!"

I was never asked this with my last pregnancy. For some reason, every damn place I go, someone asks me if DD is excited to be a big sister, if she understands what's going on, etc. Or I get the people that want to shove their opinion about how my life will be with two and how jealous my DD will be..  

I (almost) always gently explain that she lost her sister in October, so she absolutely understands what is going on. And that yes, she's excited for a brother, and is excited that she gets to "keep him".
Half of the people look at me with sympathy, the other half look at us like I grew another head.  

It's smurfing frustrating. I don't want to have to explain what happened to every nosey person that opens their trap, but I feel guilty if I don't include the fact that she already IS a big sister.



Just venting is all.    

Awh   I know how you feel. I know I will get asked that question next time Im pregnant...

Aw, I'm sorry it brings up things like that. *hugs*

I'd just say yes and move right on. You don't always have to explain and shouldn't feel guilty if you don't. <3

Quoting Vindictive:" I was never asked this with my last pregnancy. For some reason, every damn place I go, someone asks me ... [snip!] ... their trap, but I feel guilty if I don't include the fact that she already IS a big sister. Just venting is all.    "

They didn't know when they asked... people love to give advice and their opinion on everything. They don't really mean any harm.

Just say something like, yes, she is excited, thank you. And walk away.


I'm so sorry for your loss.

  I totally get that, you could just start ignoring people   lol.

They can look at you how they want though, it's their problem not yours. They stuck their nose in your business, they can deal with it and you shouldn't have to worry about it.

ETA: They can look at you how they want, as in...don't worry about what their face looks like...they asked and you answered lol.

Quoting Yurvon [♥]:" Awh   I know how you feel. I know I will get asked that question next time Im pregnant... "

I hope not.   It's a difficult question, for sure, and sucks.

Quoting Keyboard Warrior [llama]:" Aw, I'm sorry it brings up things like that. *hugs* I'd just say yes and move right on. You don't always have to explain and shouldn't feel guilty if you don't. <3"

Sometimes I could say yes, like if they ask if she's excited. But the people that want to go on and on about how she'll be OH SO jealous when the baby gets here, yada yada yada.. I seriously want to punch them in the face. And it seems like it's those kind of people that are always the ones that just stare at me when I explain.

Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" They didn't know when they asked... people love to give advice and their opinion on everything. They ... [snip!] ... really mean any harm. Just say something like, yes, she is excited, thank you. And walk away. I'm so sorry for your loss."

I'm not faulting them.   The entire situation sucks. I don't want to just say "yes" and move along (most of the time). I don't want to act like her sister didn't exist, especially since DD brings her up on her own all the time and knows that she's a big sister.

Quoting I Love Dem Baybees!:"   I totally get that, you could just start ignoring people   lol. They can look at you how ... [snip!] ... They can look at you how they want, as in...don't worry about what their face looks like...they asked and you answered lol."

Oh, I know. It isn't so much the people, as it is the situation. The fact that we lost her and I feel the need to include her. That's what really smurfing sucks. I've been good at "dealing" with it, and going with the motto that smurf just happens.. but sometimes it piles up (like today, going 6598 different places and having someone stop me at every one) and suddenly you're realizing just how unfair it all is.

Quoting Vindictive:" Oh, I know. It isn't so much the people, as it is the situation. The fact that we lost her and I feel ... [snip!] ... going 6598 different places and having someone stop me at every one) and suddenly you're realizing just how unfair it all is."

Oh I know.   You are strong, mama. I know its hard to deal with. I know I had to deal with it when I was pregnant with my youngest and I placed him for adoption... I mean its not loosing a kid but ya know its kinda of the same loss. Slap in the face sometimes.

Quoting Yurvon [♥]:" Oh I know.   You are strong, mama. I know its hard to deal with. I know I had to deal with it when ... [snip!] ... I placed him for adoption... I mean its not loosing a kid but ya know its kinda of the same loss. Slap in the face sometimes. "

Very similar, I imagine.  

Quoting Vindictive:" Oh, I know. It isn't so much the people, as it is the situation. The fact that we lost her and I feel ... [snip!] ... going 6598 different places and having someone stop me at every one) and suddenly you're realizing just how unfair it all is."

I understand lady, I can't imagine feeling that...I've read yours and your mother's story. I'm sorry you had a rough day, I hope you can heal more and find peace and maybe be able to talk about things without it hurting like it has today. I know things like that take plenty of time though, even though I haven't been through it I witnessed my cousin go through a loss of a child and how it took time. *hugs*

Quoting I Love Dem Baybees!:" I understand lady, I can't imagine feeling that...I've read yours and your mother's story. I'm sorry ... [snip!] ... though, even though I haven't been through it I witnessed my cousin go through a loss of a child and how it took time. *hugs*"

Thanks mama. My heart goes out to your cousin.

I'm sorry, mama. I'm sure they don't mean any harm, but I can imagine that would be hurtful and frustrating.

Quoting Vindictive:" Thanks mama. My heart goes out to your cousin."

Anytime. Thank you as well.