re: I can't handle him

Quoting Spencer Pratt:" <blockquote><b>Quoting BG Secrets:</b>" my son has communication delays that put him ... [snip!] ... Ask for help, they can give you some ideas on what to do and possibly refer you to a behaviorist. Hang in there love."

I will bring up my concerns at our next meeting, which is next wednesday. I'm always so embarrassed to bring it up at those meetings...I feel like they think he's smurfed up enough, and here I am bringing in MORE smurf for them to work on with him. I just have a bad thought process with it. I need to change the way I think about it - they are there to help.


and I know he struggles and is probably very frustrated. But I just get in my own head sometimes and only think about how frustrated he makes ME.

Quoting BG Secrets:" PDD NOS which makes me an even more terrible person for spanking him like I did. and for feeling this way. he clearly has delays, and I just don't know how to handle this HUGE gap in communication."

Do you think he might benefit from a little more scheduling? Like maybe he wasn't prepared to come in from bike riding, but couldn't communicate that?
It seems like a small thing, but a lot of the time if kids with PDD NOS/ Autism know far ahead of time when certain things are going to start/ end it helps them cope immensely. We keep a picture chart with velcro pieces for my son, and every morning we put the pieces in the time frame we are doing the activity. Because of the velcro we can change them as needed every day, like I can stick "grocery shopping" in the 4-5pm category on Thursdays. We even put small things on there, like "outside time" at 2pm -3:30pm Then he gets to take his velcro piece off at 2pm, and put it on the front of his art binder. Then at 3:20 I started counting down the minutes for him to change his velcro piece. At 3:30 he peels it off, puts it in a basket, and takes the net activity off to stick to his binder.
That way ending an activity isn't so much about "stop playing outside" but "come see what's next"

My son is kind of going thru the same temper tantrums! My discipline is Time Out........or I start taking his toys away. He absolutely hates both actions but children need to learn discipline. Take things away that he absolutely loves....he will learn.
I would have taken his bike away and told him he needs to earn that privilege back along with a sit in time out!
Spanking is sometimes necessary for some situations but in other situations it teaches children the wrong lesson, in my experience.
If you feel angry with yourself, apologize to him. It'll make you both feel better.

Quoting Jas ♥:" My kids think time out is a game. I made them each a calm down jar. I took a mason jar, filled it ... [snip!] ... bottom, they can get up from the table. It works for them. Its not really a punishment more of a "calm yo ass down" tactic lol."

That actually sounds like a really good idea!! Thanks for sharing that!

Quoting KayteB:" Do you think he might benefit from a little more scheduling? Like maybe he wasn't prepared to come in ... [snip!] ... off to stick to his binder. That way ending an activity isn't so much about "stop playing outside" but "come see what's next""

that's an interesting approach. I may have to try something like that.

He just transitions horribly from any activity to another. Even if he HATES what he is doing, when we transition to another activity...he freaks out. It makes no sense. It's like, he just wants to be angry to be angry.

Quoting BG Secrets:" that's an interesting approach. I may have to try something like that. He just transitions horribly ... [snip!] ... when we transition to another activity...he freaks out. It makes no sense. It's like, he just wants to be angry to be angry."

That's exactly the problem we were having with DS. Even if it was something he HATED doing, he still screamed about transitioning. He would scream because we had to go to the market, he would scream when we left the market. Ya know.
The chart all but completely stopped it. It sounds like it's something that could def. help you out.

I agree it's the age. 100%

Not long after my Son turned 3, I wanted my "old" son back. He was a spastic disrespectful jerk for at least 6 months. He is just now calming down a bit  
I don't spank because I don't like to. However, I sometimes had to pop him on the bum when he is literally kicking my ass   And that's just to get his attention. Otherwise he goes to his room because I refuse to watch him being ugly and irrational. When he is calm then we talk.

Good luck and god speed.

Quoting Just Ames:" I agree it's the age. 100% Not long after my Son turned 3, I wanted my "old" son back. He was a spastic ... [snip!] ... to his room because I refuse to watch him being ugly and irrational. When he is calm then we talk. Good luck and god speed."

thank you. i think I will just have to send him to his room for now, and hold the door shut. while I make up a little chart. Its just so frustrating. I'm so frustrated and annoyed and unhappy.

As I read this tears are streaming down my face . my four year old is exactly the same way and I am feeling guilty because yesterday Ispanked him too..only he didn't care and hit me back.. I am at my wits end with my son.. Itry. time out and he gets up...yesterday Isat with him for close to 20 mins him getting up running ..me putting him back..etc etc.. till I had to go tend to the baby.. I understand completely. how you feel and what you are going through. it's hard and embarrassingly ..I don't even want to to anywhere lately because Idon't know how he's gonna act. making schedules is super hard for us because I have a two month old who is breastfed and an 11 Yr old with epilepsy so ALL of them need attention all at the same time . If it wasn't for the grace of God I have np idea how I. would make it through the day . I know u are anonymous but if u want to talk Iam here.. if anything just so u know someone else understands

My best friends son had major learning delays at 3yrs old. He could barely talk and when he did, he was so hard to understand. He had TERRIBLE tantrums, ALL THE TIME! he was so embarrassing in public... The whole bit. It's been 2 years and with a ton of speech therapy and a structured daycare/school environment he has improved ALOT!! he's like a brand new kid. He still acts out a little bit but it's nothing like it used to be & it's manageable.

It WILL get better and easier.
He will be a functioning and happy member of society one day.
It will take time and a ton of patience.
Be strong. You can do it!!

Never ever forget he is a human, with human emotions, and he feels enough pain already- not being able to function or communicate like everyone else- give him faith that people will accept him one day and not that he is a burden in the world.