Misbehavior and going places

Cora LOVES going to the Y every day

But lately, she has been a total brat in the mornings before we leave, and when we get home, she melts down for a few hours.


I don't wanna take away her favorite thing but this is getting to be too much. I don't want to reward her for this behaviour.

But if I say we aren't going, it's meltdown city for the whole day, punishing both of us.

I don't know what a good compromise is. She las a set list of things that NEED to be done before we leave (get dressed, teeth and hair brushed, toys picked up, eat, etc)

This morning while getting dressed EVERYTHING was too tight, too itchy, too small, touched her belly too much.

Eating breakfast, toast was cut wrong, food wasn't steaming, yogurt was too creamy



It's just been a never ending battle

ETA She is being tested for asbergers in a few months

I'm sorry you're going through that. Mine is the opposite! He's fine at home, in the car, and even the first 5 minutes we are somewhere, then he's a nightmare. I wish I knew what to tell you. Maybe it's just the age? My son is 3.5.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" I'm sorry you're going through that. Mine is the opposite! He's fine at home, in the car, and even the ... [snip!] ... 5 minutes we are somewhere, then he's a nightmare. I wish I knew what to tell you. Maybe it's just the age? My son is 3.5."

My daughter is an ANGEL in public. So polite and patient and well mannered.

But once we are home, it's a whole different story

This happened to me all last week. I just sat down and cried and prayed (not in front of my daughter!) And I finally let my husband help me. I'd been playing superwoman for so long that I just crashed and burned. My daughter and I both had melt downs. Since I have relinquished some of my control, my daughter has too!! We both act just alike. I am a control freak and so is my daughter. She responds well to other people, especially her dad so I have stepped back and have more help from him now. Stick to it with the perimeters though, I endured my share of meltdowns from her (many in public) but they are getting less and less frequent...hang in there mama because I've been there and its no fun  

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" My daughter is an ANGEL in public. So polite and patient and well mannered. But once we are home, it's a whole different story"

Do you do any type of reward system...so she can see the results of doing what she is expected?
Honestly I can't say if it will help as I'm just getting ready to do it with my toddler. She is the same way as your DD--great 99% of the time out...and pitches fits at home with me

Quoting ~ Boss Lady ~:" This happened to me all last week. I just sat down and cried and prayed (not in front of my daughter!) ... [snip!] ... her (many in public) but they are getting less and less frequent...hang in there mama because I've been there and its no fun  "

I'm a single momma. I don't get to delegate my responsibilities   It sucks

Quoting dawn711:" Do you do any type of reward system...so she can see the results of doing what she is expected? Honestly ... [snip!] ... ready to do it with my toddler. She is the same way as your DD--great 99% of the time out...and pitches fits at home with me"

I do. Having a good morning, a good day at the Y, and a good bus ride home can get her a small treat at the store on the way home. A good week gets pizza or dinner of her choice on friday. I have everything laid out in a chart

but "in the moment", she doesn't give a crap about rewards or punishments

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" I'm a single momma. I don't get to delegate my responsibilities   It sucks"

My son seems to respond the best to the least amount of emotion I show him. If I'm upset with him, I stay basically quiet without ignoring him and have a very stiff demeanor. Granted, this is always in the car on the way home after he completely disobeyed everything I've said and has run away from me so I am so angry that I can't even speak if I wanted to and he's trapped in his carseat so he has to endure my silence.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" My son seems to respond the best to the least amount of emotion I show him. If I'm upset with him, I ... [snip!] ... from me so I am so angry that I can't even speak if I wanted to and he's trapped in his carseat so he has to endure my silence."

This works for me too!! When my daughter melts, I get quiet and just look at her. Once she's back in her car seat, she will even have the nerve to ask me what's wrong?!?!?!?

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" I do. Having a good morning, a good day at the Y, and a good bus ride home can get her a small treat ... [snip!] ... on friday. I have everything laid out in a chart but "in the moment", she doesn't give a crap about rewards or punishments"

Maybe try a reward system with instant gratification. Get a bag of M&Ms (or whatever treat she likes that's small. Since I know she's not a big candy person) and once she finishes one of her things (hair brushed, clothes on, etc) she gets a couple m&ms or starburst.

Having to wait ALL DAY or ALL WEEK for her reward, might be a little hard for her being so young. I tried that with Elena, and it seems that an all week reward chart is too much for her yet. I do a daily one, and then she also gets little rewards throughout the day. For going potty (we still have issues with this), for being good, helping out. It seems to be working a lot better.

Quoting Brobee:" Maybe try a reward system with instant gratification. Get a bag of M&Ms (or whatever treat she likes ... [snip!] ... the day. For going potty (we still have issues with this), for being good, helping out. It seems to be working a lot better. "

That's a good idea. Thanks. I'll try keeping small things around.