re: Male Factor Infertility Support Group

Quoting Dicey Wifey:" I think it really is a grieving process. I kinda feel like a part of me wants to give up completely ... [snip!] ... of persuing higher education. I think DH isn't so much. He jokingly says he'll divorce me if I apply for grad school."

I'm thinking of seeing a therapist as well. DH wants nothing to do with talking to someone, he doesn't feel like it's needed, but I think it's whats best, and like you said I'll do it with or without him. It's hard when no one understands! I will be thinking and crossing toes,fingers and eyes on friday for you!!!  

I know we're on page 2 of the thread and I've already posted but I feel like I should introduce myself because I don't know some of you.
I'm Lindsey. I'm 27. I work as an RN and am working on my bachelor's degree. I have a 4.5 year old son from my first marriage. We currently share custody 60/40. My husband and I have been married since July 2010. We TTC for a few months in 2009 with no luck and with school upcoming, I got mirena just until I got closer to graduation. We've now been TTC since my mirena came out in May 2011. DH has had 2 SA's showing such a low sperm count it's considered zero. Any sperm there were nonmobile. I saw a RE last month and she suggested IVF or sperm donor. DH has an appointment with urology on Friday to see if there are any treatments available to increase his sperm quanitity and quality.
Being that I already have a biological child that is not my husbands I strongly desire to have his child. Never the less, we're against the sperm donor option. We both decided before we started treatments and testing that we didn't want to do IVF because of the cost. My RE suggested an IVF vacation but it still is very pricey.
That's where we stand on our TTC journey.

Quoting Mrs.O♥:" I'm thinking of seeing a therapist as well. DH wants nothing to do with talking to someone, he doesn't ... [snip!] ... without him. It's hard when no one understands! I will be thinking and crossing toes,fingers and eyes on friday for you!!!  "

I'm glad I'm not the only one tending to be depressed about this. I think it may be healthy to vent my feelings to a non involved 3rd party to help sort out my thoughts and feelings. Maybe give me a little direction.He may have to go if/when I apply for grad school lol.
Thanks   We'll see what happens. Answers are answers and I'll take them either way. I'm really hoping he'll put him on clomid or femera and not send him home empty handed. I'm bummed I can't make it to the appointment with him. Makes me more anxious.

Quoting Dicey Wifey:" I know we're on page 2 of the thread and I've already posted but I feel like I should introduce myself ... [snip!] ... because of the cost. My RE suggested an IVF vacation but it still is very pricey. That's where we stand on our TTC journey."

I know your DH said that if nothing works out for you guys, he's comfortable with not having children at all... Have you talked to him? Is he set on that?

Quoting Dicey Wifey:" I'm glad I'm not the only one tending to be depressed about this. I think it may be healthy to vent ... [snip!] ... or femera and not send him home empty handed. I'm bummed I can't make it to the appointment with him. Makes me more anxious."

I agree... DH will have to get over it though if we decide to go ahead with DS, if that's what we want.

Let me know if he's prescribed Clomid. I'm hoping DH gets prescribed something and told to come back in 3 months.... I haven't found much on 0 sperm count being increased by Clomid but I really hope that's the case because that would be great if that worked!

Quoting Mrs.O♥:" I know your DH said that if nothing works out for you guys, he's comfortable with not having children at all... Have you talked to him? Is he set on that?"

I haven't talked to him about it yet. I figured we'd talk after his appointment Friday. We had talked about adopting as well but then I feel like I might not fill my own wish to have children with him... to be pregnant, to give him a child of his own.
I think that was the comment that really got me thinking about school. I can't see myself working as just a staff nurse and not having any more kids. It's not the way I see my life going. I need something to distract me or fill my time.

Quoting Mrs.O♥:" I agree... DH will have to get over it though if we decide to go ahead with DS, if that's what we want. ... [snip!] ... much on 0 sperm count being increased by Clomid but I really hope that's the case because that would be great if that worked!"

I will definately let you know if he gets anything. I sort of feel like the urologist is going to tell him to lose weight and come back when he's down to a healthy weight range.
It would be great if there was a pill to correct this issue. I read this great article somewhere online about in the future RE's are hoping to use any cell of the male body, extract the DNA, and use that in place of sperm to ISCI. But again you run into the cost issue.

Quoting Dicey Wifey:" I haven't talked to him about it yet. I figured we'd talk after his appointment Friday. We had talked ... [snip!] ... nurse and not having any more kids. It's not the way I see my life going. I need something to distract me or fill my time."

I know, I feel the same way... I don't even think we can really live a child-free life, I just dont think I have it in me to be happy and go on with life without having a baby. I need a hobby or something to help keep me busy or my brain will just fry up... Adopting would be nice, but we don't see it in our near future.

I really hope you get answers at his appointment. I can't wait for DH's. I have to stop thinking so negatively because I already feel like we will be getting bad news.

Quoting Dicey Wifey:" I will definately let you know if he gets anything. I sort of feel like the urologist is going to tell ... [snip!] ... use any cell of the male body, extract the DNA, and use that in place of sperm to ISCI. But again you run into the cost issue."

I hate having to do something and come back in 3 months or come back in 6 months, but if it will honestly help give us a bio child I'll do anything. We just can't wait long, we are giving his issues a year to get a diagnosis and help treat it, because my insurance runs out in 2 years, and it pretty much covers everything right now.

As for the future RE's, they need to get on that!!! lol I hope they can really be successful with achieving that... I would never wish this on my worst enemy, and hope there's a cure for it.

Quoting Mrs.O♥:" I know, I feel the same way... I don't even think we can really live a child-free life, I just dont ... [snip!] ... I can't wait for DH's. I have to stop thinking so negatively because I already feel like we will be getting bad news."

I agree... I read somewhere on an infertility blog there's a few great books out about moving on in infertility (moving on with your life and giving up on having a child). I doubt that you or I are there to the point of needing this literature.
You know what really has been weighing on me since finding out about DH's sperm... Please forgive me for going into religion/God if you don't believe in any of it. But after getting together with DH, I prayed and asked if there were children in our future. Every time I felt such a wonderful feeling. I just KNEW that we would have our own children. I feel so let down.

Quoting Mrs.O♥:" I hate having to do something and come back in 3 months or come back in 6 months, but if it will honestly ... [snip!] ... they can really be successful with achieving that... I would never wish this on my worst enemy, and hope there's a cure for it."

  Agreed! This is emotional termoil!

A year?! That's not very long at all. I'm sorry about the insurance issue. You guys (well at least you, I don't know how old your husband is) are so young! Maybe things will change in the future as far as your insurance goes.

Quoting Dicey Wifey:" I agree... I read somewhere on an infertility blog there's a few great books out about moving on in ... [snip!] ... in our future. Every time I felt such a wonderful feeling. I just KNEW that we would have our own children. I feel so let down."

I'm not religious but I do believe there's a God. I believe in Karma a lot, and don't understand that we do good things for bad things to happen to us. WHY?!

As for us and our insurance, I have seperate insurance than DH, He's 26. Mine is really nice, covers IUI and IVF for up to 6 cycles. We really want to use it while we have it, so we don't go into debt with most of our infertility treatments. After this insurance runs out, I'll go back on state insurance, like my DH which covers nothing as far as infertility treatments. I'm a nanny so I'm on my own for health insurance and DH is a mechanic so he doesn't get the best insurance either. If we want a child, any way possible, we have to get it in gear now and not wait, because once my insurance runs out, we'll be waiting til our early 30's to save money.

Quoting Mrs.O♥:" I'm not religious but I do believe there's a God. I believe in Karma a lot, and don't understand that ... [snip!] ... have to get it in gear now and not wait, because once my insurance runs out, we'll be waiting til our early 30's to save money."

I believe in Karma as well... kinda goes against Christianity but I believe it exists. I feel like maybe the reason we can't get pregnan is because I cheated on my ex (with my current husband). It's a dirty little secret, but true. There's a lot more to it than that... I tried to get him to marriage counseling, I tried talking, he refused to let me go. Please don't judge me...

Early 30's is still young. It's still workable... Insurance sucks sometimes. I don't have any through my work (I work as a relief status at one job and my other job is rediculously expensive). DH covers my insurance as well as Jace's. But since we live in a state that isn't required to cover any fertility treatments, they won't. I understand you not wanting to go into debt. It'd be really hard to start a family already in the hole. Infants are expensive as it is.

Quoting Dicey Wifey:" I believe in Karma as well... kinda goes against Christianity but I believe it exists. I feel like ... [snip!] ... you not wanting to go into debt. It'd be really hard to start a family already in the hole. Infants are expensive as it is."

I would never judge you. Smurf happens!

Money makes the world go round... honestly, I'm going to do whatever it takes to have a child, whatever age that is, it will happen. I'm hoping soon but we'll see.

I'm scared that DH's diagnosis will be Sertoli Cell Only Syndrome...

Quoting Mrs.O♥:" I would never judge you. Smurf happens! Money makes the world go round... honestly, I'm going to do ... [snip!] ... that is, it will happen. I'm hoping soon but we'll see. I'm scared that DH's diagnosis will be Sertoli Cell Only Syndrome..."

Thanks  

You have such a determined attitude. I admire that. I'm becoming such a downer. How do you stay so positive?

I had to look up Sertoli cell only syndrome. I didn't know such a condition existed. I hope that's not the case!

I see you changed your profile pic! You guys are so cute!