re: BG Confessions

My mom passed when I was 8 years old (20 years ago) and I miss her more, now that I've had my own daughter, than ever before

I'm sure there is a much smoother way of telling me you think I'm fat then I need to lose more (then the 60lb I lost after first LO) after this baby.

Gah, had an observation today. Three smurfing people sitting in the back of my classroom typing on their laptops about me.

Not really a confession but just wanted to say that it's smurfing hell being observed.  

Im sitting here on the phone with a friend of mine and Im thinking of things that happened and Im getting so pissed off and so hurt, and I feel like outlashing and making a public post. I am depressed. So depressed.

On another note. I want to tell my mom that Im depressed.. but I dont know how to word it. I dont want her worried about me. I dont want to make her feel like she needs to check up on me.

I talked to you on the phone a couple days ago and every time I do I always ask myself, why do I even bother? I told you I was pregnant because everyone else thought you should know, you should be thankful I told you. You said, "so this means I'm gonna be a papa, huh?" No it doesn't, you were never a "father" to me so you will never be a "papa" to my child. Lennon's papa will be my step-father, he may not have been the best father figure to me either, but at least he taught me life lessons and I probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him and Mom.
Sometimes I don't even know if I should tell Lennon about you because of all the let downs and lies you told me, I don't want him to be let down by you either.

my grandmother died of a sudden heart attack last night. I feel guilty for ignoring her phone calls for the last few weeks. Cherish you family, you never know when they will leave you.  

Quoting Ꭶwan♥Nemö:" my grandmother died of a sudden heart attack last night. I feel guilty for ignoring her phone calls for the last few weeks. Cherish you family, you never know when they will leave you.  "

I am so sorry to hear that. My great grandmother passed away last night too, she was fighting Leukemia, and on top of that had just gotten Pneumonia. She was in the hospital since Thursday, and her first day in there she suffered a heart attack as well. I wasn't very close with her, so I didn't visit her in the hospital, which I somewhat regret. I agree with your statement that I bolded. I hope you are OK as well. *hugs*

Quoting Ꭶwan♥Nemö:" my grandmother died of a sudden heart attack last night. I feel guilty for ignoring her phone calls for the last few weeks. Cherish you family, you never know when they will leave you.  "

So sorry hun. <3

I have only told my boyfriend this. Not even my parents know. And I don't want them to.


My 8th grade year, about 2 weeks after I turned 13, I was raped.
A guy I had known forever forced me to the woods along with his friend and he raped me while his friend held me down and laughed. Afterwards he told me to get an abortion if I was pregnant.


If that night would have never happened, I would be a completely different person.

I don't understand why people are so evil. Taking away my innocence. I didn't deserve it. And now 5 years later, I'm a horrible person.

Quoting Brianna G :" I have only told my boyfriend this. Not even my parents know. And I don't want them to. My 8th grade ... [snip!] ... understand why people are so evil. Taking away my innocence. I didn't deserve it. And now 5 years later, I'm a horrible person."

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It is not your fault, hun. You are not a horrible person. Why would you think that?

<blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" I'm so sorry that happened to you. It is not your fault, hun. You are not a horrible person. Why would you think that? "</blockquote>




I have done a lot of things I'm not proud of. I still have so much anger and aggression built up. I just feel like I could have done anything to change this. I finally told my boyfriend lie 4 months ago. No one else knows. I just feel helpless.

Quoting Brianna G :" <blockquote><b>Quoting bbbt:</b>" I'm so sorry that happened to you. It is not your ... [snip!] ... could have done anything to change this. I finally told my boyfriend lie 4 months ago. No one else knows. I just feel helpless."

It's hard keeping a secret like that. No one in my family knows that I had a miscarriage. Sometimes it feels like a weight on my chest.

  I'm so sorry! My mom is making me hide that I'm even pregnant. I wish she was supportive. I feel like she hates me because I didn't get an abortion.


When did you have a miscarriage? If you don't mind me asking....

Quoting Brianna G :"   I'm so sorry! My mom is making me hide that I'm even pregnant. I wish she was supportive. I feel like ... [snip!] ... I feel like she hates me because I didn't get an abortion. When did you have a miscarriage? If you don't mind me asking...."

Why is she making you hide it? That's sad, I'm sorry.  

It was in April 2011. I will admit that when I found out I was pregnant, I didn't want it. I was contemplating abortion, but then decided I couldn't go through with it. Then I miscarried.

I'm so sorry 

But she is embarrassed I guess. She had my oldest sister at the age of 17. She just knows how much I will struggle.

Until I had my first ultrasound, I didn't want my baby either. I was thinking about putting it up for adoption. I still think about it sometimes. Everyone I know that is pregnant is all excited and I have no feelings towards it at all.