re: I hurt my boyfriend by telling him too much about my past
posted 16th Jan
The most important thing to remember here is that despite what these other people are saying, it is NOT his problem alone, you are in a committed relationship, and this is a problem that must be fixed by BOTH of you. I know how your man feels, I have been here, though regrettably my Bitch of a girlfriend could have cared less about the fact that it hurt me, she may have even enjoyed talking about how much better her past boyfriends were, just to hurt me. So you have a distinct advantage, you care, and that will mean a lot, this is something that takes time to heal, he will be second guessing everything you say and do for awhile, looking for and finding (even if imaginary) ways in which you think he is inferior to your exes, this is a massive problem for a lot of guys, but keep showing him how much you care, tell him that you had those guys in the past, and could still have them, but that instead you chose him, and tell him you have not regretted it. A lot of his pain is coming from the fact that he may think you are less happy with him than with your past BFs, and that you would rather be with them, let him know that that is not true, let him know that he is the one you care about, and if you have to keep talking to him about it, I wound up getting desensitized pretty quickly when the subject came up enough that I had heard it all before. He prolly needs some more time to adjust,but as long as you treat him like your prince he will do most of the fighting on his own. Also do not apologize for what you said, apologize for the fact that you hurt him, you were being honest, even if you do say you sent the message in a bad way. Be open,honest, and let him lead the way in this.quote
posted 17th Jan
<blockquote><b>Quoting Janice21988:</b>" My boyfriend and I have been through a lot together. We have two kids and have been together for 3 years. ... [snip!] ... to know. Now he is hurt and I don't know how to help him. He says he will How do we move past it as quickly as possible? "</blockquote>
He sounds like a self-absorbed, self-centered, whiny baby.
You haven't got smurf to apologize for. Your past belongs to YOU, and is none of his business to be judged on.
The smurf do you need to apologize for?! For having loving relationships and great sex BEFORE your SO came into the picture?
And what's this"Oh, I thought I was happy, but bad thoughts ruined it!" smurf? He's emotionally manipulative and likely emotionally immature.
He reminds me of an ex of mine, did the same smurf( read my PRIVATE journal and broke other boundaries like he could just because I was dating him. aTM)
posted 17th Jan
Well despite what some people say, you are in a Loving committed relationship, and that means that his happiness is of concern to you. It pains me to see that some people on here claim that you shouldn't care. And seeing how many there are, if this site is any Judge, I can understand why so many men get so Jaded and cold about relationships, It only takes meeting a few women with a P.O.V. like this to do something like that to a man. I can tell you have been hurt, all of you talking bout him being Whiny or anything else, So I apologize for what was done to you, I hope you can feel better about any hurts you received, and learn that Love means ALWAYS caring about what is hurting him, no matter who's fault it is, or how unimportant YOU think it is.quote