Forums > Single Parentingby: EmmaRitchie :)

almost alone. help!

posted 19th Aug
Hello, my name is Emma and about 2 weeks ago I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant. I cried and cried, not because I wasn't excited but because I was scared and was told this was so very highly unlikely because of my medical condition.

Nearly 2 months ago, I was diagnosed with 3 tumours in my ovaries and fallopian tubes, I was taken off the pill and was told it would be hard to fall pregnant so I should not be too concerned, so we have chosen not to use protection, mind you we have not used protection since December 2011.

But here is the BIG situation  
The father of this miracle is my best friend. My ex boyfriend. We were in a stable relationship from January 2011 til January 2012, we broke up on mutual terms to go seperate ways so I could travel and he was going away for work. He works for the Navy and has done so for 4 years. He is stable in this life.
I work full time as a restaurant waitress in the snow in season and study nursing when im not working. Anyway when we broke up, I moved back home after travelling.. 2 months later we were always having dinner together, staying over his house, just doing everything we do as a couple again, BUT according to him.. we are not together. Currently I don't live with him as im working in the snow, but we see each other every week. Its a (4 hr) drive.
When we were together we always talked about having kids. But now that we are best friends, he wont even consider it! And he knows the situation im in. Is he being selfish or am I by wanting this child? And if its either, raising this child with him or alone, how do I handle that?
We never planned this, never expected this. I never wanted this until i was older, but with circumstances like this?

A week ago this Saturday just gone, I was involved in a serious car accident and broke my jaw and femur, he stayed by my hospital bed until he took me home, im, sitting on his couch at the moment.. I still haven't made any solid decisions, but I want to talk to him about it more! But the last time we tried to talk about it I ask what would he do if I went through with this he replied "Im not ready to be a father, what happens in 5 years when Mr right comes alone for you how do you explain this? I would probably hate you.. there would just be too much between us"

Its been over a week since we've spoken about this, I'm recovering from my accident slowly but I dont think I cant go through anymore Trauma this year.
But I am scared to do this on my own.
Help  
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I live in Australia
posted 19th Aug
Im sorry he is a douche...

ETA: You can do this on your own.
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posted 19th Aug
Sorry sweetie   it sounds like this baby is a blessing and I'm sure he'll come around eventually. Give him time to get used to the fact.
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I have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Beaverton, Michigan
posted 19th Aug
I would just be straight out honest with him. That way you'll know where you stand with him and your future and can make a decision based on that.
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I have 3 kids & 3 angel babies & live in Massachusetts
posted 19th Aug
i wish you luck but things have a way of working out
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I have 3 kids & live in Missouri
posted 19th Aug
I'm 31 weeks pregnant and my daughter's dad is not in the picture. If he doesnt want to be a father forget him, you can do this w/o him. It will be hard yes and lonely, but you will have your child with you. I have to tell myself this all the time. Try talking to him one more time, and if he still says im not ready to be a dad just forget about him. Dont be scared. Many women raise the child(ren) alone. And they do it perfectly fine.
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I'm due October 19th (a girl) & live in Stockbridge, Georgia
posted 19th Aug
Thank you! All of you seem strong and independent in your own way  
I will try to talk to him once more.

P.s I caught him watching "Expecting Mums doing Naughty Things" last night on television" ---- maybe he is coming around.
Lets not hold our breath though  
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I live in Australia
posted 19th Aug
<blockquote><b>Quoting Scared & Excited:</b>" Thank you! All of you seem strong and independent in your own way   I will try to talk to him once more. ... [snip!] ... Mums doing Naughty Things" last night on television" ---- maybe he is coming around. Lets not hold our breath though  "</blockquote>


Haha! It was probably a shock ya know. It took my SO awhile to get used to it. Women become a mother when thy get preg. Men become a father when the baht is born in most cases.
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I have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Beaverton, Michigan
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