Gets on my nerves *rant*

He's always tired, never feels good, no matter what if I text him while at work and asking him how he's day is its Always smurffy. He's trying to get a new job making more money after his first interview he's bitches about money and it drives me crazy! I just hate hearing it every day. It's not like we're starving to death or anything we just barley skim by. But atleast we get by. He works Monday thru from 8 to 4 and I work 4 days a week from 6am to 8pm sometimes only till 6 babysitting my little brothers who is 8 and 10months so I can also be with our 6month old daughter He has never put our dd to sleep he has never got up with her he hardly ever takes her so I can get stuff done around the house most of the time I clean while he's at work he doesn't do laundry he says he can't cook so never does dinner but I'll try to teach him and he won't try to learn. If I make a comment on how he's never got up with dd he says well what am I suppose to attach her to your boob? Well there's a reason I bought a pump (that's never been used) here it is 8am we're up and have been 4 times last night and he's snoring away..


Sorry for the long post I'm just so grr!
Thanks for reading!

Could he be a bit depressed? DH was a little depressed before summer started. It made me sad to see him like that and not be able to make him feel better, especially when I'm in a good mood most of the time. And, maybe before you all go to bed, ask him if he'll get up with LO between this time, and this time, etc. Probably only on weekends though since he won't have to work the next day. They need a specifc plan of action, otherwise they're useless.

We've talked about depression and he said he would just like to get that new job and he’d be happier. We both would its almost 3 times a month what we make now. We’ve talked about certain hrs and he never does it and I don't mind because I breastfeed and cosleep but like last night she was just up down up down all night and on weekends he says he's sleeping in because he got up early all week. Wtf?! So do I. 2 hours before him and get home 3 hrs after him.

Quoting *MamaToBug*:" We've talked about depression and he said he would just like to get that new job and he’d be happier. ... [snip!] ... he says he's sleeping in because he got up early all week. Wtf?! So do I. 2 hours before him and get home 3 hrs after him."

You should see if he'll let you sleep in one day on the weekend and he can sleep in one day. idk, I might be spoiled with my DH, if I actually ask him to do something (that isn't unreasonable) then he'll do it. I hate asking for help around the house but since I started working 5 days a week instead of 4 a year ago, it was just stressing me out to also try and do everything at home. Now he does the dishes with out being asked and puts LO to bed 2 nights a week. He works 34 hrs a week but they are longer shifts on fri, sat, sun, so he has 4 days off every week and stays home with LO while I work Mon-Fri.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Colt's mommy:</b>" You should see if he'll let you sleep in one day on the weekend and he can sleep in one day. idk, I ... [snip!] ... week but they are longer shifts on fri, sat, sun, so he has 4 days off every week and stays home with LO while I work Mon-Fri."</blockquote>




I think that's my problem I spoiled him in the beginning because I did everything myself I never asked him to get up with dd I never asked him to help with the house, I have dinner done when he gets home and the house is all spiffy clean. I dunno in a way I would just like to know I had some help if needed but I don't. Its like I'm raising her by myself with someone to help with bills. He gets upset when he does try to pick her up she cries because she's not used to him. And her parents have been trying to talk me into dd spending the night soon and I know they’d be great with her but I'm so used to being the only one to do everything for her it makes it hard to trust anyone else. I dunno maybe lack of sleep is just making me crabby this morning.

Quoting *MamaToBug*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Colt's mommy:</b>" You should see if he'll let you sleep in ... [snip!] ... do everything for her it makes it hard to trust anyone else. I dunno maybe lack of sleep is just making me crabby this morning."

The whole first year I felt like I had to do everything for him. I didn't want anyone else doing anything, lol. When I slowly stopped bfing at 16 months, that feeling kind of went away but LO was so attached to me, he would be panicked all day long if DH and I were both home because he thought I was leaving everytime I moved. He wouldn't even let DH (or anyone else) hold him till after 18 months. Thank smurfing god he's gotten over that now.

Well firstly he sounds like a negative person..I also have a friend in a relationship where he does nothing to help out, she even pays a babysitter while shes at work and hes HOME.... he needs to step it up and start being more of a daddy and less of a sperm doner.. he has no reason to be so negative weather hes tired or not, your up with the baby at night and in the morning, your the one lacking in sleep. I think you need to have a seriouse talk with him and tell him how you feel, its important that you dont hold it in, you will just grow hatred towards him. My opinion anyways.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Colt's mommy:</b>" The whole first year I felt like I had to do everything for him. I didn't want anyone else doing anything, ... [snip!] ... I moved. He wouldn't even let DH (or anyone else) hold him till after 18 months. Thank smurfing god he's gotten over that now. "</blockquote>




Thanks for being here to talk to I really appreciate it! It's not so much that he doesn't do anything I think what pisses me off it that he doesn't try, just a simple "hey babe want me to get up with her I know your tired" would make me so happy I'd be on clouds lol Its like he doesn't appreciate me. It may be selfish to think that way but I do. I love dd more than anything and I love being the one she wants to be with but I get so aggervated when he's the one who can go out and drink or stay with friends till whenever he wants. Not that I wanna do I just want me to come before his own thoughts sometimes. If that makes sense without making me seem like a bitch. Cause I love being the sahm that cooks cleans does everything if I just got thought about some times. Which really I'm not a sahm I'm gone for over 40 hours a week with another infant and an 8 yr old (so happy to say school has started) lol but I couldn't leave dd long enough to have an actual job.

Quoting *MamaToBug*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Colt's mommy:</b>" You should see if he'll let you sleep in ... [snip!] ... do everything for her it makes it hard to trust anyone else. I dunno maybe lack of sleep is just making me crabby this morning."

Thats nice that you did all those things for him, I do those things for my spouce as well, but he always lets me know how much he appritiates those things, he knows they arnt my JOB. When it goes unnapritiated and is just exspected, deffinatly a whole new scenario.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Teyah's mommy:</b>" Thats nice that you did all those things for him, I do those things for my spouce as well, but he always ... [snip!] ... those things, he knows they arnt my JOB. When it goes unnapritiated and is just exspected, deffinatly a whole new scenario."</blockquote>




I dunno how to go about talking to him I don't wanna just start nagging and it sound like I'm trying to say he's a smurffy dad and boyfriend, I just want some thought about me. I've made like comments all week about how I was sleeping in today and he would just be like oh ok then he got sick yesterday with a head cold and I tried to wake him up at 7 when dd got up for the 4th time he rolled over and went back to sleep. Usually she only gets up a couple times but damn teething. I had to write this post just to keep myself from waking him up yelling at him telling him how smurffy he is lol I hate being like this cuz I'm such a positive happy person which is completely opposite of him lol but I'm so frustrated. Not with dd or anything I love being with her, but because I'm tired of feeling like I raise her on my own. I love him to death and know that he loves me and our daughter but just a lil thought would be nice.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Teyah's mommy:</b>" Thats nice that you did all those things for him, I do those things for my spouce as well, but he always ... [snip!] ... those things, he knows they arnt my JOB. When it goes unnapritiated and is just exspected, deffinatly a whole new scenario."</blockquote>




I dunno how to go about talking to him I don't wanna just start nagging and it sound like I'm trying to say he's a smurffy dad and boyfriend, I just want some thought about me. I've made like comments all week about how I was sleeping in today and he would just be like oh ok then he got sick yesterday with a head cold and I tried to wake him up at 7 when dd got up for the 4th time he rolled over and went back to sleep. Usually she only gets up a couple times but damn teething. I had to write this post just to keep myself from waking him up yelling at him telling him how smurffy he is lol I hate being like this cuz I'm such a positive happy person which is completely opposite of him lol but I'm so frustrated. Not with dd or anything I love being with her, but because I'm tired of feeling like I raise her on my own. I love him to death and know that he loves me and our daughter but just a lil thought would be nice.

Sorry double post*

Quoting *MamaToBug*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Teyah's mommy:</b>" Thats nice that you did all those things ... [snip!] ... I raise her on my own. I love him to death and know that he loves me and our daughter but just a lil thought would be nice."

Yeah I have seen this situation with alot of my friends, deffinatly tough. The only thing you really can do is just try telling him how you feel in a non-offensive way so he doesnt feel like hes being attacked...everyone wants to feel appritiated, is it so much to ask? When he does somthing nice for you, thank him and let him you know you appritiate it, it feels good. And hopfully he will see your point of veiw..