Misscarriage Question/Vent

Ok so now I have a DS but I need to get this off my chest.
When we were first TTC I became pregnant almost instantly. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage at about 6 weeks (still very early I know). But it was devastating for me, it was all I wanted in life at that point in time.

I was a wreck for about a week and a half, whenever I thought about it though (even in public) I was a blubbering mess (I'm so glad DH was supportive). I was very close to depression, I was constantly thinking why me. It was my fault. How is it fair that my cousin (who smoked, took illicit drugs and drank while she was pregnant (4 weeks more than me, and let's not even get into that!!) was allowed to keep her baby but I had to lose mine? Why couldn't it have been her? (Nasty I know but I wasn't myself). Was I ever going to be able to carry a baby full term? I was envious of every pregnant woman I saw. And many other things.
I feel for every mama that has had to go through this, it would have been the lowest point in my life I would say. I do not wish it upon anyone! There was so much hurt and hatred inside of me.

Was this a normal state I was in and going through?

i think so i was the same way. i was very jealous of every girl i saw pregnant. if i saw a girl in the store pregnant i would get really sad. it hurt when my friends would post pics on fb of their bellys and how happy they were. my cousin got pregnant about a year after my first miscarriage and i was pissed. she is a pot head and does other drugs and would rather party all the time instead of being a mom to her 4 year old and when she went full term with the new baby i was so mad at her. i love the baby to death but i will admit i wasnt happy about her having another. to this day i have her kids more then her as it is ive pretty much raised her oldest.

I miscarried my 1st also at around 8 weeks. I was devastated also.  

I think it is totally normal for you to feel that way. I have had many of those same thoughts myself. I was devastated and still have low days. I am 18 months of trying again and still nothing.

I would say so. I lost a baby at 8 weeks when I was 17. I had found out at 4 weeks though, so I had started getting used to the idea of having a baby (I wanted one, not necessarily at that point, but I still wanted it). There were a few other girls at my school that were pregnant and every time I saw them I would think "why does she get to keep her baby?" and other things. You can't help what you were feeling/thinking at that time momma!

I'm sorry for your loss

I was the same way. And DH's cousin's wife was pregnant at the same time and I felt exactly the same way toward her as you described feeling. Seems normal to me.

I think it's normal. I had a m/c with my first pregnancy and i was devastated DH didn't really care and he didn't want to try for another baby meanwhile his brother's gf, sister and his cousin were pregnant still very early and she would always flaunt it in my face, It hurt so much I would secretly hope something would happen to her baby and DH couldn't understand why i was so upset. But i ended up getting pregnant again with my Son when his sister was 8 months pregnant.

We Had a Llama it's a boy lol! Had to really look at it to know what it said  

Yes it's normal! I had a miscarriage as well and I was an emotional wreck! My other kids and my husband were constantly trying to console me but I would get mad and start crying even harder! It has made it very hard with this pregnancy, I am constantly worried about something happening to my baby girl and I am almost 27 weeks! I know I shouldn't be worried as much but I am, every little cramp or pain and I start thinking about premature labor, or my feet being swollen for 48 hours and I start thinking about preeclampsia! I mean anything and everything about this pregnancy has had me so paranoid, so I know how you feel/felt! I had my miscarriage on CHRISTMAS DAY!! right after leaving my family, I called my mom who told everyone and the next day my cousin came over to "console" me and brought her newborn with her!! I know she meant well but I felt like she was rubbing it in my face!! I just wanted her to leave before I hit her!! lol It is really hard and that was almost 2 years ago!! Then I became pregnant and I'm a wreck all over again! I dream about the one I lost and this one and I wake up crying! Sorry this is so long but like I said Yes it's normal, I mean we are still mourning our babies! The pain may ease but it is always there.  

Thanks ladies I thought I was nasty, borderline psychotic (poor DH must have thought I was) with my thoughts. I knew they were nasty and I guess I didnt REALLY mean them but it was just how I was feeling

<blockquote><b>Quoting .:MrsB:.:</b>" Ok so now I have a DS but I need to get this off my chest. When we were first TTC I became pregnant almost ... [snip!] ... not wish it upon anyone! There was so much hurt and hatred inside of me. Was this a normal state I was in and going through?"</blockquote>



Yes very normal I had the same thoughts as well keep your head up it will happen miscarriages are very common

You experienced a painful loss, so those emotions are definitely normal, no matter how early on your pregnancy was. My cousin and his girlfriend got pregnant at the same time as me last year (they were due at the end of March '12) and even though I've never smoked or used drugs (and she did/does), she got to keep her baby and I didn't. I still think, "why me?" It isn't fair, and it's okay to be angry and hurt. I'm sorry for what you went through.  

Your thoughts are very normal I'm sorry to hear what your going through I have 2 angel babies and am 28 weeks pregnant with my third this baby is very happy I wish I could tell you it gets easier but I still worry you can message me if you want to talk

What you're feeling/thinking is completely normal. I now have five angel babies and I miss them terribly. Every time a family member or friend tells me there pregnant I'm excited for them but on the inside I just start to feel empty. I dream of them often and I find myself waking up with my face stained with tears. I also have a family member who did drugs while they where pregnant she now has two amazing little girls. There's been plenty of times I just want to shake her and tell her to wake up. I wish they were mine. I love them like there mine. I was finally diagnosed PCOS three months ago. I thought I would be happy to finally know whats wrong but I really don't feel that way. I still hurt if not more now. I feel disgusted, angry, and pissed off. I don't know what to do anymore. I miss my babies.