re: Bed times for 14yo

Quoting Amberchik78:" 14 yr old also know everything ever in the universe and get easily butthurt. They still need structure."

Right, thats why in my first post I said lights out at 11.

14 yr old kids make me butthurt!

Quoting Blythe.:" At 14 you are old enough to go to bed when you are tired. If you stay up too late. You'll learn that lesson the next day"

but the issue i'm having is, he doesn't learn the lesson, he stays up until god knows when and then sleeps all day (while at home) then when he's here, he stays up just as late, but we don't let him sleep all day, but because he is a lazy child, he don't care because he doesn't do anything all day but lay around. Its affecting my 5yo's sleep and before I always just dealt with it but now 5yo is starting kindergarten next week and he has to go to bed.

Quoting Snickles:" but the issue i'm having is, he doesn't learn the lesson, he stays up until god knows when and then ... [snip!] ... my 5yo's sleep and before I always just dealt with it but now 5yo is starting kindergarten next week and he has to go to bed. "

That sounds normal to me. Maybe I'm crazy but when I was a teenager during summer break I stayed up til 4 or 5 am and then slept till at least noon. 11 am would have been getting up early

I think giving him structure will help him. When does he start school? Mine start the 22nd or the 29th.

This also depends on the child. When I was fourteen - 9 - 10 pm was my school night bedtime, but in the summer I really didn't have to get up to do anything except babysit my sister. And she was 7.

Some kids need way more structure than others. I knew if I didn't get up for school - if I did happen to be allowed to stay up late, then it was my fault. I usually went to bed on my own at 9/9:30ish. I had to get up at 6 am to be at the bus stop by 7. It sucked. I hated getting up. lol. But I was and still am a night owl and insomniac.

Quoting Amberchik78:" I think giving him structure will help him. When does he start school? Mine start the 22nd or the 29th. "

The 22nd is when they start. I try to leave things with SS up to DH when he's here, because when he gets mad at me he don't come over and that hurts DH. But if DH gets on to him then he's ok with it. But DH sees no point in forcing him to bed when he's here because he isn't here that much and his mother lets him do whatever he wants there. SS will stay up that late on school nights as well and still get up and go to school. He did it last year. It can't be good for him. But my main issue is my 5yo's sleep when SS is here and staying up all night.

Quoting Snickles:" The 22nd is when they start. I try to leave things with SS up to DH when he's here, because when he ... [snip!] ... He did it last year. It can't be good for him. But my main issue is my 5yo's sleep when SS is here and staying up all night."

right, and that makes sense. I don't understand the mother's motivation, though. Is she trying to be his friend and not his parent? I just can't wrap my brain around it. I hope it resolves for you soon... maybe if you talk to him one on one about the 5 yr old going to bed he will get it?

Quoting Amberchik78:" right, and that makes sense. I don't understand the mother's motivation, though. Is she trying to be ... [snip!] ... it. I hope it resolves for you soon... maybe if you talk to him one on one about the 5 yr old going to bed he will get it?"

I've tried talking to him about it, and on rare occasions he will go lay down so 5yo will try to go to sleep too but then he still lays up there talking to 5yo and 5yo knows he's not going to sleep so it don't help. Her motivation is just exactly that, she wants to be his friend. She lets him do anything and everything he wants so she knows he will like it there better and he will stay with her. Its always been that way. She even has to one up us on anything we get him for birthdays christmas or whatever.


Hopefully since it is so close to school time DH might lay down the rules tonight. If he don't i'm going to be pissed.

Well, I don't have a 14 year old, but one day I will.  
When I was 14, during the summer I could stay up as late as I wanted & sleep as long as I wanted. As long as I didn't disturb anyone, all was good.
During the school year, my bedtime was strictly 9PM and stayed that way until I was 17.

Mine was 9:00 on school days and 11:00 on weekends but they didnt enforce it so much on the weekends.

During the summer it was whenever but a few weeks before school they would make me go to bed early to get used to school schedule.

I started working working at 14 though so I was not home until 9:45 some nights.

My nephew is 13 and stays up till he decides he wants to go to bed. And samething on school nights.

I saw alot of ladies say 10pm really...lol my kids 10 and 4 stay up later then that on school nights. lol And summer break about midnight.

When I was 14 my curfew to come home was 12-1am.....and will most likely be the same for my kids as well.

Quoting Snickles:" What time is bedtime for your 14yo during summer break? What time is bedtime during school?"

For me, it is advisable to give your child an 8 hours of sleep every night so that their growth will not be affected.

*didn't realise the post was so old*