Pissed off Daddy

This has been going on since my father found out I was pregnant in January, but I just wanted to vent and get some encouragement and see who else has been through similar situations.....

Well, I'm 22 and a senior in college (one more semester left) and my Dad is SOOOOOO pissed, hurt, disappointed, and sad about my pregnancy. He and my boyfriend were super close prior to my pregnancy and now they don't even talk. I am a MAJOR Daddy's Girl, because my mom passed away from cancer when I was ten, and both of my brothers are waaaay older than me, so I grew up practically just me and Daddy. I understand he's disappointed because I'm not married, but he's really overreacting. He's very close with his sisters (he has 5, he's the only boy) and they're all upset too. And they keep making me feel like after I have the baby they're done with me and not gonna help me since I keep claiming "I'M GROWN." But a lot of people are telling me that my Dad will come around after I have the baby, but I just don't know.... People are also saying he felt like he just lost his little girl all of a sudden, because I'm about to be a wife and mother, but I just don't know, I wish he was more understanding, calm, and supportive. He's been worrying himself sick about this whole situation. He was at church Monday nite for revival and almost passed out, he was vomiting, and broke out in a cold sweat. My Dad NEVER gets sick, so this was really crazy, and then my aunt called me making me feel bad saying I had upset him so much about this pregnancy and he could be on the verge of a stroke or heart attack!!

Has anybody else had Daddy problems?!?

first, let me say i think it was pretty shitty of your aunt to blame you for your dad getting sick. that was just wrong, and it is putting stress on you and your baby.

do you know why your dad is so upset? is it because you are not married? you will be graduating, so it can't be school related... i just don't get why he would be so upset.

does he have any other grandbabies?

Took my dad almost 2 years after my oldest was born and I had moved away to come around. Dont worry they do come around some just take longer then others. You can ask him to come to a u/s visit and ask for ideas on names things like that. If he says somethign bad dont say anything bad back just brush it off. Saying something back usually makes it last longer. Sit him down and ask him why its bothering him so much. Just a nice talk between the two of you so he can get all his fears out. Let him know nicely that this is his grand child and that you would like him to be a little more open to the future because its too lat eto change it now. Remember dont get deffensive even if he does.

Quoting pierced again!:“ first, let me say i think it was pretty shitty of your aunt to blame you for your dad getting sick. that ... [snip!] ... graduating, so it can't be school related... i just don't get why he would be so upset. does he have any other grandbabies?”

Yeah, my boyfriend and I said the same thing... because I love my Daddy to death and was freaked out when he told me what happened, so I have been stressing. And a few reasons he's so upset is because
1. I'm not married. (That's the main one!)
2. I haven't graduated yet.
3. Don't have a degree yet, therefore I don't have a good steady job with insurance.

And no, my brother married a chick that already had a little 7 year old girl, but that's it.

Quoting Cowgirl47429:“ Took my dad almost 2 years after my oldest was born and I had moved away to come around. Dont worry they ... [snip!] ... him to be a little more open to the future because its too lat eto change it now. Remember dont get deffensive even if he does.”

Thanks!! He's so freaking difficult and hard to talk to. And when I bring up the pregnancy he tries to change the subject real quick. He's never once asked me any random questions about the baby i.e. gender, weight, how the u/s went, or anything. He says he doesn't wanna talk about it.

Quoting Kristy819:“ Thanks!! He's so freaking difficult and hard to talk to. And when I bring up the pregnancy he tries ... [snip!] ... any random questions about the baby i.e. gender, weight, how the u/s went, or anything. He says he doesn't wanna talk about it.”

If he says he doesnt want to talk about it or trys to change the subject just tell him that YOU need to talk about it and you feel he has been the most important person in your life and you need him there for you on this. That you are scared and affraidhe hates you or wontlove the baby. (Guilt trip! may hurt but it helps in this situation) Be sure to express YOUR fears to him. Make it easier for him to open up. Buy him a "Grandpa-2-Be" shirt and get a baby book and ask him to write a letter to the baby so you can put it in the book.

Thanks so much... I'll try and let you know how thingsturn out.

Quoting Kristy819:“ Thanks so much... I'll try and let you know how thingsturn out.”

No prob, Good luck!

Hmmm.. I just thought I'd add my situation.. It's kinda long, but I hope it helps..

I'm 19 years old.. I'm barely a freshman and I've had the worst start off at college. I just got dismissed because of my really low average.. I found out at the beginning of fall term that I was pregnant. Morning sickness was pretty bad so it affected me and some classes. I tried again in the spring.. but failed one class and got an A in the other, so that brought me down still. So ..now I'm kicked out and have to start off all over again..

So, I'm not married.. me and my boyfriend had a really bad 3 year relationship.. so I expected my dad to kill him. And I had just moved away to my home state and barely 3 months later I'm pregnant.

My dad was depressed.. because I was way too embarrassed to call him.. so he called me.. Instead of yelling and him being mad, he asked me why I just didn't come to him.. He told me he would always be there for me. Pretty dramatic.

Even though he told me that, he seemed pretty much depressed everytime i'd talk to him.. like he lost his precious daughter. To him I'm still 4 years old doing silly things..

I'm due any day.. my moms plane arrived a couple hours ago because if anything i'm being induced next thursday.. When I talked to my dad on father's day, it was the first time he seemed like he was incredibly happy while he spoke with me.. He told me how he had gone to church and held a baby for over half an hour who had just lost her dad.. the baby was 3 months old and he couldn't wait to see my baby when he comes down on the 26th..


It's true about what they say that they'll come around. My dad would talk to me about how he remembers how in Peru (where he grew up) there would be fathers who would throw their daughters out into the streets all the time when they came out pregnant and not married but a year or two later.. they're drooling over their grandkids.. and its always been like that..

If it was that bad in a strict catholic place like Peru.. I'm pretty sure your dad will come around soon. Don't listen when people try to make you feel guilty for having a baby. A baby is a miracle in itself and brings nothing but happiness in ones life..

Hope everything works out.. and I'm pretty sure they will =]

Quoting Kristy819:“ This has been going on since my father found out I was pregnant in January, but I just wanted to vent ... [snip!] ... much about this pregnancy and he could be on the verge of a stroke or heart attack!! Has anybody else had Daddy problems?!?”

my dad was all pissy my first time around too....dont worry i'm sure he'll be happy for you once he sees his grandchild besides its something hes just gonna have to get used to otherwise he'll only be hurting himself by missing out on your childs life.

Quoting Mavick:“ Hmmm.. I just thought I'd add my situation.. It's kinda long, but I hope it helps.. I'm 19 years old.. ... [snip!] ... miracle in itself and brings nothing but happiness in ones life.. Hope everything works out.. and I'm pretty sure they will =]”

Wow! You have been through a lot, but keep your head up, school, motherhood, and everything else will fall into place and you'll be okay. I'll be praying for you. And I hope you're rght about things working out.... I'm hoping!