Is this fair?

My daughter is 5 years old. Her father was in prison the first year of her life he got out and saw her quite often for a month then went back in on a parole violation. He got out a year later or something and came at least once a week to spend a few hours with her. Brought her presents for bday and christmas and came to her bday parties. Once his current gf got out of prison he quit coming to see my daughter. Only would once a month or so when she was at work or something always said she was jealous of me...not sure why. Me and my daughters father never really dating. We just "hooked up" a few times. I got pregnant then he went to prison.....

He hasn't come to see her since last summer. I could care less, but it's hard on her and when he does come she really likes spending the time with him. My friend saw him at the bar a few times and would show him pics of her and talk about her and he cried, but stil lhasn't come to see her. Oh by the way he lives 5 minutes away. So my questions is would it be mean of me to not let him see her anymore? I was thinking if there is a next time tell him to leave (he always just shows up never calls) and take me to court if he wants to see her? My current bf who is my son's father treats her just like his own. And Im just sick of her father doing this shit...

i would probably do the whole legal custody thing. if he wants to see the baby 2 weekends a month, the court will make sure he does. that would be difficult for him coming in and out of her life. it sounds like he wants to maybe be in her life, so hopefully, you guys can work out a system like alot of parents do; in regards to when he sees the kids.

Quoting brianamarie21:“ My daughter is 5 years old. Her father was in prison the first year of her life he got out and saw her ... [snip!] ... see her? My current bf who is my son's father treats her just like his own. And Im just sick of her father doing this shit...”

It's tough but if he doesn't want to see her, he won't and he shouldn't be allowed to see her only when it's convenient for him.  I would tell him that if he wants to see her you won't prevent him but if he doesn't want to do it regularly, that you will take him to court for full custody

Quoting natesmomma:“ It's tough but if he doesn't want to see her, he won't and he shouldn't be allowed to see her only when ... [snip!] ... to see her you won't prevent him but if he doesn't want to do it regularly, that you will take him to court for full custody”

That's what I think if he doesn't come because it's not convenient for him. We've talked about this before because when she was like 3 she was going to spend the night and at bed time came home because she wanted Mommy. I told her that it's because she doesn't know you well, but coming to visit, take her out to dinner or the park for a few hours on the weekends will help a lot. But I guess he doesn't care. Im pretty sure I have full custody. Doesn't he have to take me to court to get visitation?

Quoting brianamarie21:“ That's what I think if he doesn't come because it's not convenient for him. We've talked about this before ... [snip!] ... a lot. But I guess he doesn't care. Im pretty sure I have full custody. Doesn't he have to take me to court to get visitation?”

I don't know.  some people work out visitation on their own without the courts.  I would take him to court anyway if he keeps it up.  All he is doing is confusing your daughter.  I had family do that to me and it made me feel really bad when I was that age.  Now my FIL is doing that to my son.  Granted, my son is only 4 months old but he only lives 1.5-2 hrs away and has only been here like 3 times.  And then he doesn't call or anything so I'm about to tell him just to forget it.  

if your boyfriend is good to her, itd be better that she know him as her father. No girl needs a wishy washy man in her life, it just makes it so much complicated when you are older. my dad never took the time to know me, or see me, but i did have a great step-father. but she doesnt need him coming around and filling her little head with empty promises about the next time hell be coming around, and doesnt show. just remember whats best for her is her long term mental health.

Quoting jacey*lyn:“ if your boyfriend is good to her, itd be better that she know him as her father. No girl needs a wishy ... [snip!] ... about the next time hell be coming around, and doesnt show. just remember whats best for her is her long term mental health.”

That's exactly what I was thinking.

I'd take him to court and make sure he either sees her whether the girlfriend wants it or not, or don't have anything to do with her.