Forums > Single ParentingPage 1 2by: Mama^Jen

Missing father

posted 13th Aug '12
For any moms or moms to be my question is have you went through pregnancies without the support & help from the father and after the baby was born the stepped up to be a father and help??
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I have 2 kids & live in Washington
posted 13th Aug '12
I did it without him---He did step up when I had my son. Nothing I was counting on though.
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I'm due February 19th (a girl), have 1 child & live in Ontario
posted 13th Aug '12
Nope. Mia. Is he dead or alive? Who knows...
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I'm due February 1st (it's a surprise), have 12 kids & live in ?
posted 13th Aug '12
Quoting Jenn & 2 girls ♥:" For any moms or moms to be my question is have you went through pregnancies without the support & help from the father and after the baby was born the stepped up to be a father and help??"

My ex was around when I was pregnant, yet he wasn't around if that makes sense. He didn't do Smurf... in fact he did LESS smurf once she was here if you could even DO less smurf. I was amazed, lol. He tried to kidnap her when she was a year old after being completely gone for 6 months (ya know, moving to Texas for a job with his Aunt to "help" and send me money but guess what.... HE DIDNT SmUrfING SEND MONEY and his parents called me a liar and money grubber. So once he tried to kidnap her I told him to get smurfing lost, and that was 8 years ago and we havent seen him since.

I hope the dude smurfing dies so his "rights" can be terminated since legally he still is entitled to rights. Stupid piece of smurf.
quotesmurfs?
I have 1 child & live in Golden, Colorado
posted 14th Aug '12
nop our son is 5 months old, said he will step up...never did
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I have 1 child & live in Calgary, Alberta
posted 14th Aug '12
yea he called me for the first time the other day, wanting to help pay for people to watch him and give me gift cards for clothes, formula, and diapers. Telling me he admired me so much for wanting to go back to work and school and for stepping up with our son. ... I didn't say anything about the bullsmurf falling out of his mouth. >.> I feel semi defeated by accepting anything from him. But I don't want to rob my son of potentially having a father around that can teach him a lot, that he could relate to. I don't really respect the dude, but I can't make that choice for my son.
quotesmurfs?
I have 1 child & live in Wichita, Kansas
posted 17th Aug '12
my LO is almost a year old, His real dad didnt see him till he was 6 months old the first time was less then a min and the 2nd time was for about a half hour, He hasn't called to check up on him at all, He dnt support him. Me and my fiance are the ones that support him so at least he will have a father figure in his life i hope, If we stop argueing so damn much.
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I have 1 child & live in Springfield, Ohio
posted 20th Aug '12
My Mother, did the most awesome job raising me pretty much on her own and i am so greatful.
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I'm due December 22nd (a boy) & live in Auckland, New Zealand
posted 22nd Aug '12
my mother didnt take care of me lets just say her bf beat on me, i was locked in my bedroom, feces all over the room, roaches and headlice so bad, and may i also say my sister was only a baby when all this happened. My father didnt know my mom was pregnant but had the opportunity to come see me and he never showed up, I got ahold of him when i was 18 then he still dnt talk to me or support me. My aunt and uncle raised me from age 7 to now and even though i am not there real kid i still love them and am grateful for them takin me and my sister in.
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I have 1 child & live in Springfield, Ohio
posted 24th Aug '12
I did it on my own. I do not regret it one bit. My daughter's dad was abusive. He would push and shove me when I was pregnant. Hit my stomach. If you can think of it, it probably happened. He belittled me. He would lock me in the bathroom if he didn't get his way. He would scream at our daughter. When I finally got out of the situation, I felt so much better because I was already doing it on my own when he was still around. I was afraid I would feel alone, but I was so much happier. After we split, he stalked me and showed up at my house and hit me. I pressed charges and got a PFA. I have no contact with him whatsoever unless it's via email regarding Brynn. He gets her every other weekend. He pays around $650 a month for child support. Honestly, I am glad he isn't apart of my life. However, I do wish that he would get his act straight and have more involvement in her life. I'm engaged now, expecting baby number two with an amazing guy who is a great father figure to her now. Everything happens for a reason. You may find yourself later down the road being thankful for the way things turn out. No parent wants their child to grow up in a split family, but sometimes it's for the better.
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I'm due April 28th, have 1 child & live in Pennsylvania
posted 24th Aug '12
Quoting Brynn's Mommy (::" I did it on my own. I do not regret it one bit. My daughter's dad was abusive. He would push and shove ... [snip!] ... for the way things turn out. No parent wants their child to grow up in a split family, but sometimes it's for the better."
Okay not trying to be rude or ne thing but if your with another man who is more of a father figure then brynns real daddy and he sees her every other weekend your goin to confuse that little girl, Does she call your new fiance daddy or her real dad= daddy when my son seen his real dad for the first two times he was scared to death and cried bc the only man he calls daddy is my fiance it has to be very confusing to children.
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I have 1 child & live in Springfield, Ohio
posted 24th Aug '12
Quoting Jaidens Mommy  :" Okay not trying to be rude or ne thing but if your with another man who is more of a father figure then ... [snip!] ... two times he was scared to death and cried bc the only man he calls daddy is my fiance it has to be very confusing to children."

I'm not an idiot. I have never had Brynn associate my fiance with being "daddy," that is never fair to any child. She calls my fiance by his name, like she would with any other person. She calls her dad, daddy. That is the way it should be. No matter how much I don't get along with her father I would NEVER take that away from him or her. Ultimately, he is her dad and will always be. She is 19 months, she is little but she knows who is who because I specifically made sure it turned out that way. I would never want to confuse my daughter, but I'm also not going to be alone for the rest of my life. I believe that when she gets older she can decide on how she wants to address my fiance however she is comfortable. Yes, he helps me raise her, but he also knows that he isn't her dad and wouldn't want to take that away from her either. Not trying to be rude by any means, but it is definitely a sensitive question because I hear it frequently.
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I'm due April 28th, have 1 child & live in Pennsylvania
posted 24th Aug '12
Quoting Brynn's Mommy (::" I'm not an idiot. I have never had Brynn associate my fiance with being "daddy," that is never fair ... [snip!] ... from her either. Not trying to be rude by any means, but it is definitely a sensitive question because I hear it frequentl

i understand what your saying i dnt like to see children confused about whos there parents and whos not. With me my BD is a bad person for my LO to be around he does marijuana, cocaine, and pop pills, I dnt wnt my baby to be around all that. My fiance has been there for my baby he knows hes not the dad but he is more of a father then my LO sperm donor. like i was saying he has only seen his son twice in a year and not even for that long i dnt understand why so many guys walk out when they get a girl prego, I wasnt tryn to be rude and i understand where your coming from. i was just wondering


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I have 1 child & live in Springfield, Ohio
posted 24th Aug '12
Quoting Jaidens Mommy  :" "

I understand. I wasn't trying to be either but like I said no matter how much I wish I didn't have to deal with BD and sometimes think it would be best for her not to see him I would never want her to resent me later down the road for doing something like that. I feel that when she gets older and starts to be more aware of things and ask questions she will be able to make her own decision without being swayed by one side. I think it's also different because my fiance has only been around Brynn since she was about 10 months old and she already had a understanding of who daddy was.
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I'm due April 28th, have 1 child & live in Pennsylvania
posted 24th Aug '12
Quoting Brynn's Mommy (::" I understand. I wasn't trying to be either but like I said no matter how much I wish I didn't have to ... [snip!] ... my fiance has only been around Brynn since she was about 10 months old and she already had a understanding of who daddy was."
My fiance has been there for jaiden since he was first born which was 9-19-11 he is almost a year old and i am grateful that he took over for BD but i do have to agree with you it should be your daughters choice of who she wants to call daddy and who she dont. Like i said some guys arent meant to be fathers and its harder on the girl. but i am proud of you for leaving him and finding yourself a new guy that treats u alot better most girls who went through the same things your did wouldnt have the courage to leave the person they "love" i am very proud of you. good luck with your new relationship  
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I have 1 child & live in Springfield, Ohio
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