My Abortion Story

I had my abortion on July 11, 2011; I will never forget that day. It was two days after my mothers birthday. I was 17 when I got pregnant with this guy that I had been only dating for 2 months but have known for 6 years. I was always pro-choice but said if I where to get pregnant and wasn't ready then I was keeping it no matter what. I was told at the age of 14 I would never have children due to my PCOS. So when I didnt get pregnant at 17; I had a mix of emotions. I was happy, scared, worried, all wraped in one. How was I going to tell my boyfriend, my dad, my mom...everyone? I told the babies father and explained to him I wanted to keep it and he seemed a little excited; that was a relief. Then next was to tell my family; which didn't turn out how I wanted to. I told my father first and he was reasonable and talked about my options to me(which I did not expect from him). My mother and my step mom didn't take it well at all. They both scolded me about getting an abortion because I was too young and immature to raise a baby. At that point I didn't care what they though I was happy and the babies father was too...well so I thought. About two weeks after telling him I was pregnant, I went to his house to talk about the baby and so on. He met me outside with a very stern attitude and when he got in my car I asked what was wrong with him and the hurtful, dreadful words came out of his mouth "I know the babies not mine; my mom told me the dates don't add up." At that point I was so hurt; I yelled and screamed and told him to get the hell out of my car. He did and then threw rock at my car window. I knew just from that statement he made that I was not going to have help from him. The next day after the fight was my 18th birthday. I wasn't up to doing anything so I sat at home. My mom called me every day asking if I was going to get an abortion and every day she would get the answer of "NO". Then on her birthday I get a call from my Aunt yelling at me saying she had planned a party for my mom and now my mom wont go because she is so upset with my pregnancy and she kept saying "Its all your fault Anissa, why couldn't you just have used protection"; so on and so forth. The fact of the matter is I did use condoms; they just aren't always 100%. When I got off the phone with my Aunt, I felt so bad and so useless. I called my mom up crying and said "Happy Birthday; I am getting an abortion"; I have never heard my mom so happy before in her life. She called up the abortion office and set up an appt for me.

July 11th, 2011 my stepmom drove me to the abortion clinic in Hampton, VA. So many emotions where going through my head. I had no clue how I was going to go through with this. When we pulled up it didnt look like and abortion clinic; it just looked like an office building. I walked up to the door and you have to ring a bell; once your let in the security guard checks your purse and does a little pat down. Then he escorts you on the elevator up to the main office. At this point I was really scared 'smurfless". I walked into the office and there was bullet proof glass EVERYWHERE. Signing in was pretty normal it took all but five min. I sat in the waiting room with 10 other woman ranging in ages. Each woman was called one by one to pay their dues. There where two choices at this ofice A: to be put to sleep and pay 400 or B: stay awake the whole time for 300. Well I was broke so I went with stay awake and pay 300. After paying dues you went into a new room and sat till you wher called to do blood work, urine sample and an ultrasound. All of that took about 2 hours right there. You also have to see a counsler before you go in and talk to make sure this is what you want to do. When I was there every woman kept to themselves and there was such a sadness amongst all of us. Until this amazing woman named Faith walked up to me. We talked and talked and shared her stories. It was comferting to me becuase she was like a mother figure to me when I needed it the most. You know the saying "When you think you have it bad; just imagine people who have it worse." Well that day I learned that meaning of that. Faith shared her story with my (shorter version); she had already ahd two boys and was married but her husband was VERY abusive so when she found out she was pregnant for the third time she couldnt imagine bringing another child into the world to be beat by its father every day. She was 13 weeks pregnant and you could tell becuase she was a very tall slender woman. Her and I talk untill she was called back for the actual procedure.There where three rooms where the abortion actually took place; in a sense it was like an assembly line. Faith was first to be called back and I was second. I stripped down to my underwear and T-shirt and sat up on the bed. The room was freezing cold and it smelt like fresh cut oranges. I was in a trance just thinking to myself until I heard the noise of a vaccum from next door to me and a shrek of a woman in pain follwed it. I knew that it was Faith and at that point I wanted to run far far away. I was next the nurse came in with a pad that looked like a diaper and then followed the doctor (He was HUGE guy). I expected him to be mean but from the perception he was nice. I layed flat on the bed and put my feet in the stur-ups; he told me everything he was going to do before he started the procedure. Then it was time to do the acutally abortion; he put a very long shot into my cervix to dilate myself. Then he used his finger to open in up some more; at this point I was in such pain, I kept moving but I made sure not to make any sound. He then turned on the vaccum and moved it back and forth slowly; the whole thing only took about 15 min but it felt like a life time. After he was finished he took his gloves off and left the room. The nurse sat me up and when I was sitting up I noticed a clear container by the vaccum that was filled with blood. So many questions started going through my head and then I got so overwhelmed and light headed. She put me in a wheelchair and brought me to a room with beds and recliners. When I got there I was relieved to see Faith it was her and I for about 20 min till the next girl came in. Each girl after us was put to sleep so they slept the whole time. Out of ten girls only Faith and I where awake to expiernce the whole abotion without any medication. Before I could leave I had to pass a bood clot; it felt like I was passing ten by the amount of pain I was in. At one point I look over at Faith and as soon as our eyes met we both started to cry. i didnt realize that I walked in there with a healthy little baby and I was going to walk out without it. Faith came over to me and gave me a well needed hug; it felt so loving. After about two hours of waiting, I had finally passed my clot. Before I left, I made sure to get Faith's number so I could keep in contact with her. As soon as I got home I texted her and we talked and talked untill I fell asleep. For about a month we talked everyday and then one day we lost contact and I lost her number. I hit a very deep depression and thoought of many ways to end my life for two months straight. All I wanted was to die and go an be with my baby. Then Sept I told myself "Anissa pick your head up and have FAITH that things will get better." So I did and from then on I have always told myself "You just have to have FAITH" I got the word Faith tattooed on my let foot so when ever I am feeling down I can just look down and see Faith.

So like I said before it has been a year now and I have met the man of my dreams and am now 29 weeks pregnant with a beautiful little baby boy named Ryder. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my other beautiful baby and each night I talk to him or her like its listening. I want to reassure the baby that I do love it and always will. Now I have an angel baby who is looking over me and I know one day I'll get to meet him or her. And until then every night I will keep talking to my precious little baby.


Okay so now looking back on this story its really long. I would love to see comments from people. If you can relate then I would really like to hear from you. Abortion is all about choice; don't let ANYONE push you one way or another. Just have faith in yourself.

This made me cry, im sorry you had to go through that.
But congratulations on your new baby   I hope all goes well.

Quoting Anissa Markel:" I had my abortion on July 11, 2011; I will never forget that day. It was two days after my mothers birthday. ... [snip!] ... like to hear from you. Abortion is all about choice; don't let ANYONE push you one way or another. Just have faith in yourself."

I have never had an abortion, So i can say i relate, But i was sad to read that you did seem cornered into it by everyone elses reaction's, But i am glad to hear/read/see you have come out of it for the better.

Quoting Ole' No Name:" This made me cry, im sorry you had to go through that. But congratulations on your new baby   I hope all goes well."

Don't cry; its sad but I wanted to share my story. After my abortion I wanted to to find a group or something that could help me cope with my pain but I never found one till now. I have started my healing process and now I wanted to help other people heal as well.

Quoting Jynxd Blyss:" I have never had an abortion, So i can say i relate, But i was sad to read that you did seem cornered ... [snip!] ... did seem cornered into it by everyone elses reaction's, But i am glad to hear/read/see you have come out of it for the better."

Thank you so much. I have come out of this for the better. Feb 13th I celebrated my baby's birthday even though he/she is not alive becaus ;all babies deserve love and respect whether alive or not.

I kept reading hoping you changed your mind or something. ....but one question not to be starting anything but, how can you say "don't let anyone push you to do something" when you clearly were pushed and followed through with it? Are you saying that bc you regret your decision? Just curious why you'd add that.

Your story made me cry! I've never had an abortion so I cant tell you that I feel your pain but I felt like I was right there with you reading your story! Im sorry you were pressured to do something you didnt want to do but Im so happy you were able to have someone like Faith go thru it with you. Congrats on your pregnancy! Stay strong!

Quoting DifferentDay:" I kept reading hoping you changed your mind or something. ....but one question not to be starting anything ... [snip!] ... were pushed and followed through with it? Are you saying that bc you regret your decision? Just curious why you'd add that."

No I expect questions like this and I talk no offense to them at all. As a person in general I am a big push over and I was always the child that wanted to keep her parents happy. So when I was told over and over to get one and if I didn't my reaction was to please them. I do regret not making my own decision. And I don't want anyone ever to be pushed up against the wall (in a sense) on whether to have an abortion or not. Its a decision you have to make within yourself/

Wow, I'm bawling like a baby over here. That was really touching.....

Although I've never had an abortion before, I can't relate to this, but I thought I'd tell you that you are a very strong person, and I wish the best of luck to you and your future family.

Do you and your mom/step-mom have a good relationship? How did your ex boyfriend react when he found out about the abortion?

Quoting Renee'B:" Your story made me cry! I've never had an abortion so I cant tell you that I feel your pain but I felt ... [snip!] ... to do but Im so happy you were able to have someone like Faith go thru it with you. Congrats on your pregnancy! Stay strong!"

I was hoping people could feel like they where in the story as well because I want people to really understand what its like. Its a very complex decision that most woman do make. I, myself want to help anyone who is confused about an abortion or not. Its not like choosing and apple or an orange; its much more than that.

This made me cry, perhaps because I can relate. My parents and my partner pushed me into having an abortion four years ago on the 28th of this month. I still talk to my baby and tell her she was and is always going to be loved. I'm sorry for what you went through, but glad you came out strong  

I thought so but it wasn't entirely clear at the end. Very touching story. Sorry you were placed into that kind of position but I'm a firm believer in things happening for a reason. I think maybe this experience of yours made you a stronger person, able to stand up for what you want in your life, etc. Thanks for sharing, and I hope you find the woman Faith one day. I cannot imagine what I would have done in your situtation- trying to please your parents- so I'm not judging or nothing, but I wouldn't be able to forgive them for something like that, parent or not. Best of luck to you and congrats on your little boy. LOVE the name Ryder, was gonna name our kid that if we had a boy  

I'm sorry you had to go through that. An congrats on the new baby.
Your story was very touching. I'm glad you had someone to help you through it even it was just for a little while.

Quoting Tavi:" Wow, I'm bawling like a baby over here. That was really touching..... Although I've never had an abortion ... [snip!] ... Do you and your mom/step-mom have a good relationship? How did your ex boyfriend react when he found out about the abortion? "

I do get along with my step mom and my mom; but my abortion is not to talked about with them. My dad really was my backbone to the whole thing which was very shocking because he is a strong Republican, country type of guy (he has very strong views). But he really stuck it out with me. And as for the father of the baby, he didn't care and after my abortion I talked to him but he told me to just get over it. I was hurt when he said that but I forgave him because that is the only way I could move on with my life.

Quoting Ellie Shikari:" This made me cry, perhaps because I can relate. My parents and my partner pushed me into having an abortion ... [snip!] ... baby and tell her she was and is always going to be loved. I'm sorry for what you went through, but glad you came out strong  "

Its nice to know you can relate. Your baby is loved and keep showing her love because every baby needs it. I hope you can heal from all your pain.