"He was in my hand" (AS)

My sister is 20, turns 21 in the Fall. She has an almost 2 year old daughter & is a single mother without any help or even contact to my niece's father. She is supposed to leave for boot camp on August 28th. She of course had to have a pregnancy test confirm that she wasn't pregnant so she could go. She figured she'd wait until the 15th, but her mom insisted she went sooner bc she just knew my sister would be pregnant. So, my sister went in on Thursday & found out she was indeed pregnant. She has been dating her unborn's father for quite awhile now. She called him (he's out of state a lot for school) & he said he supports whatever choices are to be made. She never thought she would be faced with possibly having to have an abortion in her life, but yet here she is... From the beginning I didn't know what to say or how to comfort her. She knew she wanted to have an abortion bc she's not ready for another child & was set for boot camp which is an opportunity she'd been waiting for. She went through with it the very next day. She told me on Friday that she wasn't in much pain yet & probably wouldn't be until she took the 2nd pill. But then yesterday, she said she would never do this again bc of the pain she was in & she hadn't even taken the 2nd pill yet. Still, I had no idea what to say. Last night around 9:30pm, she text me twice saying she had him in her hand & she's a complete mess right now. That broke my heart to think of what she must be going through. I didn't wake up to see the text until around 12am & it's now about 1:30am. What do I say to her? How can I support her? Should I call her tomorrow? Reply via text now. Text tomorrow? But mainly what do I say? I feel like crying bc I must be a horrible sister for not being there with her. I told her to be careful bc she planned to go to the military, but now she's upset she didn't take my advice I should have not even said that long ago so she wouldn't feel bad now. Please any advice.... Please. Thanks in advance

<blockquote><b>Quoting LovingMyBoys♥:</b>" My sister is 20, turns 21 in the Fall. She has an almost 2 year old daughter & is a single mother without ... [snip!] ... advice I should have not even said that long ago so she wouldn't feel bad now. Please any advice.... Please. Thanks in advance"</blockquote>




I would try to reassure her she made the right choice and just simply that you will be there to support her through all this

Thats really hard. I didnt know what to say to my sister after she had hers either. I would just text her back and say your there for her if she needs anything and let her initiate anything else after that.
idk how your relationship is with your sister or what shes like, but it worked for my sister and when she really needed me she called me/came to see me to talk. But she didnt really want people bringing it up to her, she liked to know that she had the control to bring it up if she wanted.

I would text her back saying everything would be alright for now and that you are there for her. It is hard, but she did it for a reason. I would call and/or go see her tomorrow if you can. Also, she needs to be sure that she took the 2nd pill because that can cause other issues.

ETA: And you shouldn't feel bad for telling her to be careful. Smurf happens, and obviously this wasn't something she planned. Just don't say I told you so, not that you would, but yeah.

I would just let her know you're there for her if she needs you and to not be afraid to vent it out.

Pretty much that's what I've been doing. Just reassuring her, that I'm here for her & that she made the right decision, but then again I don't want her to honestly feel she didn't make the right decision & I don't want to be inconsiderate of that feeling. *sigh* This is hard for her, but hard for me to even be close to someone I really care about that's going through this. We never thought either of us would be faced with having to make such a tough decision & she's already been through so much since having her daughter. :'-( I guess all I can do is continue to offer my support. I wabt to stop by next weekend, but I'm not sure if she'll feel comfortable. I've been over her place every weekend for the last month, up until this weekend, when she needs me the most.

I'd call her and checkon her, and let her know your have her in your corner. She needs you right now.

Also, not sure which branch she is joining, but at meps, or when she gets to boot camp, they will give her another pregnancy test. Make sure her levels drop by then or she may not be able to ship or start boot camp and will be sent home.

Also, do you think she'd receive a negative pregnancy test result by August 25th-27th? If she can't & her boot camp has to be pushed back, she will fall apart thinking she made this decision too fast & be regretting of it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥Jada:</b>" I'd call her and checkon her, and let her know your have her in your corner. She needs you right now. ... [snip!] ... pregnancy test. Make sure her levels drop by then or she may not be able to ship or start boot camp and will be sent home."</blockquote>




Right. I'm hoping her levels decrease & I'm definitely going to let her know I'm here for her.

<blockquote><b>Quoting LovingMyBoys♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥Jada:</b>" I'd call her and checkon her, and let her ... [snip!] ... home."</blockquote> Right. I'm hoping her levels decrease & I'm definitely going to let her know I'm here for her."</blockquote>




How far along was she? She may not be ble to ship because there is a 6 month waiting period after the pregnancy has ended. So, she would have to wait 6 months, then reenlist and do the wait again.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥Jada:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting LovingMyBoys♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... 6 month waiting period after the pregnancy has ended. So, she would have to wait 6 months, then reenlist and do the wait again."</blockquote>




Oh no... :-( Should I tell her that? & She was 6weeks. She's going into Air Force Reserve. We were going together, but I won't be able to go out to boot camp until at least next February bc I'm moving. That could be a positive to her waiting 6months, but that wouldn't really matter to her at this moment.

Quoting LovingMyBoys♥:" Also, do you think she'd receive a negative pregnancy test result by August 25th-27th? If she can't & ... [snip!] ... & her boot camp has to be pushed back, she will fall apart thinking she made this decision too fast & be regretting of it."

Honestly, just depends on how far along she was. I'd give it a week and see if she will take a test and see where it is at.

<blockquote><b>Quoting White Chocolate Milk:</b>" Honestly, just depends on how far along she was. I'd give it a week and see if she will take a test and see where it is at. "</blockquote>




Maybe she'll take one next weekend when I come over. It's like a waiting game now... A very anxious one.

<blockquote><b>Quoting LovingMyBoys♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥Jada:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting LovingMyBoys♥:</b>" ... [snip!] ... February bc I'm moving. That could be a positive to her waiting 6months, but that wouldn't really matter to her at this moment."</blockquote>



Id look it up first because im Not sure about the air forces regs on pregnancy. But she maybe in the clear being only 6 weeks. It depends on how fast her levels drop. I'd definitely have her test a few days before shipping though. For her sake, I hope it clears out quickly. She needs to take the second pill though.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥Jada:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting LovingMyBoys♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... test a few days before shipping though. For her sake, I hope it clears out quickly. She needs to take the second pill though."</blockquote>




I'm going to see what I can find. & She took it at 4:30pm. I think she should be ok, for her levels dropping, but then again who am I to say??