Worried about my 3 yr old (Autism)

I thought a couple years ago that he may be autistic. Well today I had a meeting with his daycare teacher and I'm worried all over again. He's ALWAYS been a difficult child...set in his routine, throws HUGE fits at the flip of a switch, doesn't like attention/affection, VERY independent. And he's always been very mature for his age, but he didn't start talking until he was 2. He's been in daycare for over 2 months and his teacher told me that he has never played with the other kids he'd rather play by himself, apparently he had the routine down by day 2, and that he's very smart and loves helping her with things around the classroom. She's never once had an issue with him getting an attitude or throwing a fit but at home OMG it's a whole other story! He's constantly upset about something and when I say upset I mean crying, throwing/hitting things, kicking/screaming. There has been a lot of change for him the past few months and we don't exactly have a routine down at home yet so I'm sure that's a big part of it being worse here but I'm worried about him not wanting to interact with other kids on top of all the other things he's always done. I plan to get him re evaluated as soon as I can get him into the dr. If you've read this far and have been through this can you give me some tips or ideas to make things easier for him. I wish I would have stuck with my gut and got him into some sort of therapy when I first had a feeling it was something more than a phase  

This is my son to a T, but without the daycare.

even buying new shoes is freaking a nightmare in itself.
he HATES change.
his psychiatrist wants me to call the school district and ask to speak to the student services coordinator to have him evaluated

My only advice is trust your instincts. I had the same issues with my son and no one (not even his peditrician) would listen to me. I finally found Babies Can't wait that help me discover he has sensory issues but recently I started going to a psychiatrist for my anxiety and just from me describing my son she said she thought he had aspergers and now she is helping me to get him therapy. My son sounds very similar to your son. He is smart but he is so independent and does not like to play much with other kids and can have huge meltdowns.

when cameron first started daycare a lot of the time he would rather play by himself but his teachers were never concerned.. as for everything else doesnt sound too off. cam as well didnt really start talking til 2, and always gets super frusterated with the littlest things. im not saying your son DOESNT show signs but just wanted to maybe calm your nerves by letting you know cameron is sort of similar in some ways but ive never thought he could be autistic... and a lot of his behavior could be due to the change.. maybe hes stressed and doesnt know how to act

Quoting [yo.]:" This is my son to a T, but without the daycare. even buying new shoes is freaking a nightmare in itself. ... [snip!] ... psychiatrist wants me to call the school district and ask to speak to the student services coordinator to have him evaluated"

Oh yeah it's hit or miss if he'll be ok with doing things out in public. If one little thing gets on his nerves it's all down hill from there. I can usually tell when he's had enough before it hits complete meltdown and we get out of whatever situation we're in. His speech therapist really didn't take me seriously when he was about 1.5 so I just kind of pushed it to the back of my mind and accepted that maybe he's just a difficult child but the whole anti social type thing really has me worried

Quoting None ya ;):" Oh yeah it's hit or miss if he'll be ok with doing things out in public. If one little thing gets on ... [snip!] ... back of my mind and accepted that maybe he's just a difficult child but the whole anti social type thing really has me worried"

my son wont play with kids, he loves adults, but just doesnt play with kids.

Quoting [yo.]:" my son wont play with kids, he loves adults, but just doesnt play with kids. "

Yep that's pretty much what she said. That he's always asking her if she needs help and talking to her. I don't know ugh it's just frustrating.

Quoting ×ø×K·ßear×ø×:" when cameron first started daycare a lot of the time he would rather play by himself but his teachers ... [snip!] ... he could be autistic... and a lot of his behavior could be due to the change.. maybe hes stressed and doesnt know how to act"

I'm hoping that's the case and he'll just grow out of it. Main thing I'm worried about is he's always been like this it's just gotten a lot worse the last few months with all the change.

Well, the good news is that if he's 3, and nobody's sure, he's got to be high functioning already. I live in PA too. You don't have to take him to the doctor. Now that he's 3, you can call the school district you live in, express your concern, and they (or the intermediate unit) will evaluate and place him. They are legally required to offer you educational services from age 3 to 21. So, go ahead and get started! I got my son diagnosed a few months after he turned 4 and he's about to start kindergarten next month in a typical classroom. He is a hugely changed person! He tolerates routine changes all the time now, and is even beginning to engage other children in play for short periods of time, starting to understand the benefits of social interactions. You could certainly have that too! Good luck and good for you for recognizing the early signs!

Quoting PA Mom:" Well, the good news is that if he's 3, and nobody's sure, he's got to be high functioning already. I ... [snip!] ... benefits of social interactions. You could certainly have that too! Good luck and good for you for recognizing the early signs!"

When you called the school district who did you ask to speak to? Im supposed to call them on the 15th when 'special ed dept is back in their office'

Quoting [yo.]:" When you called the school district who did you ask to speak to? Im supposed to call them on the 15th when 'special ed dept is back in their office'"

Yes that's who I called also, special ed. In PA early intervention services are provided by "intermediate units" located in each district. and most of them have Web sites with phone numbers. So if you don't want to wait for the school district, you can call the intermediate unit (not sure what the process is where you live.) Also, once you get in contact with them (again in PA) and request an evaluation for your child, it begins an ticking clock. That evaluation must be completed within 60 days of the request and generates either an IEP to begin services (within 30 days of the issued IEP I believe) or they will just say your child isn't delayed and doesn't qualify for services. Let me know if you have anymore questions.

Quoting PA Mom:" Yes that's who I called also, special ed. In PA early intervention services are provided by "intermediate ... [snip!] ... or they will just say your child isn't delayed and doesn't qualify for services. Let me know if you have anymore questions. "

I know they have 60 days to respond to a request, it is business days or just regular days?

Quoting [yo.]:" I know they have 60 days to respond to a request, it is business days or just regular days?"

Unforunately, not only is it 60 business days, but 60 working school days, so when I was waiting, it was near the end of the year, all of Christmas break didn't count toward the "60" days. In reality from our eval to the IEP meeting, it was basically a full four months! It's very tricky to calculate based on a regular calendar.

Quoting PA Mom:" Unforunately, not only is it 60 business days, but 60 working school days, so when I was waiting, it ... [snip!] ... our eval to the IEP meeting, it was basically a full four months! It's very tricky to calculate based on a regular calendar. "

oh greatt.
I gotta send in a request for an eval, to the school district...any idea what I should say?

Quoting [yo.]:" oh greatt. I gotta send in a request for an eval, to the school district...any idea what I should say?"

Yeah, just what you said here is fine. The school was very receptive to my call. Just say that a psychiatrist referred you. You are concerned about missed milestones, and you'd like an evaluation. Usually the intake person is a secretary who isn't trained to understand all the details so you don't need to give her too much private info. Don't hesitate though. The worst case is that you're getting your child a huge headstart above all the other kids his age. It is a long and unnerving process though, and difficult to deal with! I can tell you that I gained at least 20 pounds over those four months fretting over the results! I hope that doesn't happen to you, but it's just a really tough time to have to wait and wait. Good luck and keep us all posted!