Day one of two...

So I just went in for the first day of my d&e and let me just say... Ouch. Seriously. I feel like all the nurses lied to me when I asked how much getting the dilators inserted would hurt. Oh not much, they said. More like cramping, they said. Bullsmurf! I had always had an extreme sensitivity to pain and I sobbed throughout the entire insertion. Not from grief, but because I felt like my cervix was being fisted repeatedly by a spiked mace of some sort.

I just about lost it. He barely got two in before stopping and saying good enough. I now have to come in early tomorrow just to have a special medication administered to ease it open more thoroughly. Suffice to say I am dying of anxiety right now. The refuse to give me anything but ibuprofen and I might as well just toss it in the trash as much good as it does. How in the world am I going to get through tomorrow? I am sick to my stomach just thinking about it, not to mention I am still in pain from the dilator insertion earlier. I have had bad cramps before, but nothing compares to this.

How did everyone else make it through? Why did nobody mention how thoroughly smurfing physically painful this is? And why the smurf do they only give me ibuprofen? For chrissake you're a doctor! Get me some Vicodin, stat!