Friend with abusive partner.

So I have a friend who is with a guy who forces her to go to work while he stays home with the kids... (one is a newborn) and he doesn't just stay at home he goes with her... and brings the kids to her work and watches her or he sits in the parking lot in the car. He's been physically abusive as well and it's just sick to see how he treats her. They got approved for a house and he posts on their shared fb account (because she's not allowed to have one) this morning....

hopfully we get the keys to our new house to day... ya. so i gess that it is going to be a 30yr. comitment and i gess i have to stay with (I'm not putting her name) for a least 30yrs LOL


This pissed me off! Because they are only getting a house because she works her butt off while he treats her like crap the whole time! It's BS! Then he follows with a post that says...
Treat her like a Queen F*** her like a SLUT! Whata jerk! If he ever treated her good that wouldn't piss me off so bad.... He didn't even trust her to go to her own baby shower alone! He's taken away her contact lenses and made her wear glasses and he's taken away her make up.... I just want to reach through my computer screen and punch him where it counts. Sorry for the vent but it's all I can do. I've never told her to leave him before but I'm about to!

Quoting TTCbbno5:" So I have a friend who is with a guy who forces her to go to work while he stays home with the kids... ... [snip!] ... punch him where it counts. Sorry for the vent but it's all I can do. I've never told her to leave him before but I'm about to!"

this is acceptable to her?

Poor girl  

That's so sad..Have you tried getting some help for her?

you should def talk to her about it! he sounds like a psycho.

Quoting amp4483:" Poor girl  "

Hey stranger  

what a beautiful pic for your avi!

It would piss me off. But, she allows it.

Quoting .Colleen.:" Hey stranger   what a beautiful pic for your avi!"

I know!! How have you been?!

Thank you  

I've tried to say nothing... she know it's wrong. I try to just listen. I can't believe she bought a house with him... I just want to tell her how dumb she was! But I understand her because I've been there. I think it's time though as her friend to tell her what she is worth and that he is far below what she deserves. I think she's more staying for the kids than anything.

Quoting amp4483:" I know!! How have you been?! Thank you  "

not too bad, you?

When someone is being abused we sometimes want to race in and be the hero but that's not what they need. They need to find the strenght to be thier own hero. All you can do as a friend is let her know that you are there for her for anything that she needs. Let her know that you feel that she deserves better and that there are ways to change her situation if and when she is ready.

She sounds like she is in my moms situation except her boyfriend is only emotionally abusive and makes threats I try to tell my mom about it almost everyday but she just makes excuses.

Quoting TTCbbno5:" I've tried to say nothing... she know it's wrong. I try to just listen. I can't believe she bought a ... [snip!] ... tell her what she is worth and that he is far below what she deserves. I think she's more staying for the kids than anything."

That , IMO, is the worst thing you can do.
If you are unhappy and treated badly, your kids will see it and grow up thinking this behavior is okay.


I would offer her as much support and help as she is willing to take, but if she doesn't want the help , its going to suck, but not much you can do.

<blockquote><b>Quoting TTCbbno5:</b>" I've tried to say nothing... she know it's wrong. I try to just listen. I can't believe she bought a ... [snip!] ... tell her what she is worth and that he is far below what she deserves. I think she's more staying for the kids than anything."</blockquote>



I was in a abusive relationship at one time, he doesn't trust her alone because he knows he's a douche and afraid she'll find someone better.

Yeah my ex was emotionally, mentally, and sexually abusive. He pushed me once and pulled my hair once and would not let me leave when I tried, and when I did get out I always ended up having to go back because I was scared to leave my kids with him. It took a long time before I finally saw it more as I can sit here thinking I'm able to protect my kids from him (which I just felt like I could) or I can leave and at the very least give them a break from seeing him, and the longer I stayed the worse they them selves treated me and I started to see I HAD to leave or it would be my fault if they turned out like him. Now they have a GREAT step daddy who is a real man and shows his kids how to treat a woman.