Wedding Anniversary After Death

My dad died suddenly in April, and what would have been my parent's wedding anniversary is in a few days. My mom has stopped wearing her wedding ring, but feels some guilt about my dad's death. He died due to some complications after a surgery (we think. The cause of death was a paragraph consisting of mostly medical terms we don't completely understand), but he refused any medical treatment for months. I've reassured my mom that she did nothing wrong, but I know she still feels horrible.

Anyways, should I do or say anything for the anniversary? I've never gotten them more than a card in the past, but I always made a point to bring it up. My parents would always get each other gifts. I'd hate to bring it up and make my mom sad, but I don't want her to think I've already forgotten or something. Any advice is great.

Post and run since DD just got destructive!

How about taking her out to eat or spending the day with her.

i would call her and tell her you're thinking of her. she's already going to be sad.

I would get her flowers or something nice delivered to her house. That way you don't have to bring it up but if it upsets her she can grieve in the comfort of her own home in her own way. She might call to thank you then you could talk to her about it. But if she doesn't talk about it then you know she's handling it in her own way and isn't ready to talk about it.

I bring my gramma to the restaurant they would go to every anniversary.

When my dad died and my parents 30th anniversary came along that same year I gave my mom a spa day and she wanted a cake because her and my father had got a cake every year. She told me if I hadn't kept her busy she most likely would have ended up crying all day

My dad died suddenly almost 3 1/2 years ago. We get together as a family on his birthday and I think the first year on their anniversary. I know how you feel with not knowing if you should bring it up or not.

I would say offer to take her to dinner or spend the day with her, but don't point out the reason. Try to make plans with her and just keep her busy, if she turns you down initially, just let her know the offer stands and she can call you if she changes her mind or thinks of something she would like to do.

Even if she decides she wants to be alone that day, you offering to be there will mean a lot to her. The fact that you even made an effort will speak volumes to your mother and let her know how much you love her.

spend the day with her. She probably doesn't want to be alone on such a difficult day.

Thanks for all the ideas. I'd love to steal her for the day, or even a few hours, but she lives three hours away. It's also in the middle of the week. I'll probably have my brother, who still lives with her, keep an eye on her for me, and I'll call in the evening. She loves talking to DD. Maybe we can arrange a visit soon, too.