should i stay or should i go?

So, my husband and i separated at the end of may. We are planning on getting divorced but neither of us have the money to file the papers and stuff yet.

I am currently considering moving out of state to go back home to my family. It's about 600 miles away. I used to be such a big part of his family, had a close relationship with my in-laws, sil, bil, aunts uncles cousins. But since him and I broke up (and he started bringing his gf around) they have all pushed me aside. They call once in a while but its rare. It makes me feel like I was never important even though we were together for 6 years.

I am slowly trying to rebuild my life but right now I have no one. I have no family here and only one real friend. I have a good job but i could easily find another one. I just dont see a point in staying here anymore. I feel completely abandoned and alone and my mom told ne that I am more than welcome to come home.

The only thing stopping me is my son...I have a feeling my ex will fight me for custody and try to take him from me. Id be willing to do anything to make sure he still has time with his son...but it would be completely unfair of him to try and make me stay.

I guess Im just terrified of losing my son...

What would you do if you were in my situation? Grin and bare it all alone or go home where you'll have the support?

Quoting infertile mertile ttc#2:" So, my husband and i separated at the end of may. We are planning on getting divorced but neither of ... [snip!] ... my son... What would you do if you were in my situation? Grin and bare it all alone or go home where you'll have the support?"

If you leave while still married they can't stop you from leaving with your son.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting ßea:</b>" If you leave while still married they can't stop you from leaving with your son.  "</blockquote>




Really? Should i tell him first*

You can't leave the state with your son of you are married unless he says it's ok.

Quoting infertile mertile ttc#2:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ßea:</b>" If you leave while still married they can't stop you from leaving with your son.  "</blockquote> Really? Should i tell him first*"

Tell him you're moving back home.

Quoting ßea:" If you leave while still married they can't stop you from leaving with your son.  "

This is what I was going to say lol.

I wouldn't tell him, just in case he tries something. Just call him when you are on the way.

Quoting James Mama:" You can't leave the state with your son of you are married unless he says it's ok."

Yes you can. They're married. You can't kidnap your own kid. There isn't an order for child custody. She simply has to tell him she is moving back home. Even if he calls the cops and says something, they can't stop her because they are married still and the child is her's as well.

Quoting Juggernog-aholic:" This is what I was going to say lol. I wouldn't tell him, just in case he tries something. Just call him when you are on the way."

She should tell him so he doesn't worry.

Quoting ßea:" Yes you can. They're married. You can't kidnap your own kid. There isn't an order for child custody. ... [snip!] ... if he calls the cops and says something, they can't stop her because they are married still and the child is her's as well."

that's what i was thinking.

once the divorce starts taking him across state lines is kidnapping unless the other parent said it was ok. while your still married its different thou. i wouldnt say anything to him and just go so he doesnt have time to get lawyers and smurf together.

Quoting K.MarieAnnette:" that's what i was thinking."

It's only kidnapping if you're not the primary parent. She sounds like she has "custody" and is the sole primary parent.


OP tell him you're moving back home. Once you get home file for divorce (usually you have to live in the state for 6 months). You may even be able to file for free. I suggest you look into it.

Where exactly is "home"?

<blockquote><b>Quoting ßea:</b>" Yes you can. They're married. You can't kidnap your own kid. There isn't an order for child custody. ... [snip!] ... if he calls the cops and says something, they can't stop her because they are married still and the child is her's as well."</blockquote>




And when he files for custody she will have to go back to that state. She can't file for custody in the new state until they live there for 6 months. And in court it will look really bad that she took her child from the father.

Op your best bet would make an agreement with your husband.

Quoting James Mama:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ßea:</b>" Yes you can. They're married. You can't kidnap ... [snip!] ... it will look really bad that she took her child from the father. Op your best bet would make an agreement with your husband."

She shouldn't be expected to live away from HER family just because of him. And you're right, if he files there, she will have to show up, but could also show up via telephone. I've already been through this myself.

i say go. thats what im doing. i could stay in CT and keep my daughter in day care and keep them close but i have no one in CT and all my family back home.

Quoting ßea:" She shouldn't be expected to live away from HER family just because of him. And you're right, if he ... [snip!] ... if he files there, she will have to show up, but could also show up via telephone. I've already been through this myself."

!!!