Kindergarten Vent.

More like Kindergarten vent because MIL can't keep her damn mouth SHUT about it!!!!!

My DS will be turning 5 on the 16th. He COULD start Kindergarten September 4th but we have decided not to send him this year. I am in school for Early Childhood (5 classes away from being finished) & have also been a Pre-K teacher for the past 4 years (and am currently his!) So I def. know what I am talking about (which MIL obviously doesn't think I do). I just want him to be 100% prepared when he goes. I have wrote papers on red shirting (not sending a child when they are 5, waiting until they are 6) & I have researched, talked with people, evaluated my son, etc. He COULD go this year & do fine, however... maybe not. He is so smart academically. What I worry most about is his immaturity and his social skills. I know in my heart I am making the best decision for him. NO harm can come out of this, it will only better prepare him to where he'll be at the top of his class (academically, socially, etc.) so what gives???

MIL has real issues with it in telling me that "it's time for him to grow up. He needs to be away from you. You need to let your 'baby' go".... oh okay, because you come around SO often & must know everything! I obviously must know nothing about Kindergarten readiness at all  OR my own SON for that matter!!!!!

At my SIL's baby shower yesterday she brought it up & told me (once again) that I am making a HUGE mistake not sending him this year. She said since he is already so jealous of my pregnancy with baby Mallory (what kid doesn't become jealous after being the only child for 5 years????) that I need to send him. That way I can just bond with the baby without him being there & he'll be at school so he'll "have to get over it". Um no. I don't think so. I told her NO ONE is going to change my mind about this subject matter. He's not going this year. & I know 100% if I were to send him to Kindergarten this year just because of having Mallory, it will make his jealousy and anger 10xs worse.



Sorry if this is kind of all over the place. I'm just so irritated by it. Hopefully some can relate to me. If not.... thanks for reading lol

seems like you have your reasons but in my case i sent my son. he did amazing learned so much more made friends....etc

Quoting jackie0608:" seems like you have your reasons but in my case i sent my son. he did amazing learned so much more made friends....etc"

And see that's just the thing that MIL doesn't see. She must think that ALL children are the same. For one thing, she only comes around every few months. She barely even calls. The most she "Knows" is by stalking my FB page lol so how does she even know?

My husband was a July baby & she thinks because she sent him & he did well that Landon should go. Well I was an August baby like Landon, I was sent, and I did horribly. I was always the youngest, I struggled. Etc. My parents said I acted exactly like Landon. & besides that.... like I tell her..... I KNOW my son the best, better than anyone. He is with me 24/7.

I love my MIL to pieces. Seriously, she's one of the most amazing women I've ever met. That having been said, she sent our boy to pre-school when he was 4, without asking either one of us, and signed him up for 1 year. Which meant, when he turns 5, which he just did this past May, he wouldn't be in that Preschool class anymore. He would have to go to Kinder or find a different Preschool. She forced him into Kinder this early, and is now complaining about the fact that he can't write his name all the way, and that he needs to learn this that and the other thing. His name is Hylani. That's not an easy one to just figure out. Lol
If he had waited, like we told her we wanted him to, he would be way more prepared for Kinder. She tried to get my 3 year old into Preschool in September. I told her absolutely not.

Anways... Just thought I'd sympathize...

You can do what you want he's your kid. What your MIL says are just words she can't do anything to stop you from doing what you think is best for your child. I think it might be nice for your son to get to stay home and bond with you and his new baby sister.

I'm curious though.
Aren't you worried he'll be picked on for being the oldest? Kids will think he failed a grade which will make them think he's "stupid". I remember being a kid and everyone always picked on the dumb kid in that class that failed a grade.

Dd cant go since her bday is October 11 so she'll be 1 month shy of being six years old when she starts kinder in fall of 2013.

I think it's your right to not send him till next fall, first your his mother and you have your reasons. IMO there very good too, some mils just suck sorry :/

Quoting Mommy2aPrince&Princess:" You can do what you want he's your kid. What your MIL says are just words she can't do anything to stop ... [snip!] ... them think he's "stupid". I remember being a kid and everyone always picked on the dumb kid in that class that failed a grade."

i was the oldest in my class. i was a year older than some of the kids, actually. i was never picked on.
kids in kindergarten don't know about "failing" anyway. they won't know the difference of ages. and if he stays with the same class all throughout school and into highschool, they'll know anyway that he didn't fail because they've been with him the whole time.

Quoting K.MarieAnnette:" i was the oldest in my class. i was a year older than some of the kids, actually. i was never picked ... [snip!] ... throughout school and into highschool, they'll know anyway that he didn't fail because they've been with him the whole time."

This. They don't know about that kind of stuff at that age. And, I've never believed in doing things just for other kid's sake. My son wanted to wear his skeleton PJ's one day to a social event at the park. I let him. Why not? My MIL started telling me I shouldn't have done that, and that the other kid's will make fun of him. And my little 5 year old looked at her and said "Gramma. My friends loved my pajamas. They thought they were really awesome." And then walked off. Lol

Quoting Bethy-poodles:" I love my MIL to pieces. Seriously, she's one of the most amazing women I've ever met. That having been ... [snip!] ... tried to get my 3 year old into Preschool in September. I told her absolutely not. Anways... Just thought I'd sympathize... "

Well thanks. lol

& EXACTLY. He could've been better off (or would've been better off) had your MIL not pressured it & signed him up a year in advance.

Some people are SO eager for their kids to be shipped off to school. I'm certainly NOT one of those people! And everything is based off of the individual child, too.

Quoting Mommy2aPrince&Princess:" You can do what you want he's your kid. What your MIL says are just words she can't do anything to stop ... [snip!] ... them think he's "stupid". I remember being a kid and everyone always picked on the dumb kid in that class that failed a grade."

I'm not worried at all. No. There are SO many children that do not go to school when they are 5. Actually, with the research I had to do for school, a lot of parents these days prefer their boys wait until 6 so they can be the biggest & oldest when playing sports. Now sports has NOTHING to do with my decision but I found that interesting.

Quoting Jenn ♥ 17 weeks:" Dd cant go since her bday is October 11 so she'll be 1 month shy of being six years old when she starts ... [snip!] ... send him till next fall, first your his mother and you have your reasons. IMO there very good too, some mils just suck sorry :/"

Thank you. There are tons of kids who miss the cut off date by even a day. So I know that by my son being 6 for a whole 2 weeks prior to starting Kindergarten, nothing will happen there. He won't be picked on because all of the other kids who didn't go that have summer birthdays will be there, the October-December birthdays will be there, they'll all be older as well.

& yes my MIL sucks. She thinks she knows everything. She doesn't even KNOW my son. It really pisses me off lol

Quoting Mommy2aPrince&Princess:" You can do what you want he's your kid. What your MIL says are just words she can't do anything to stop ... [snip!] ... them think he's "stupid". I remember being a kid and everyone always picked on the dumb kid in that class that failed a grade."

It's not like hes starting when he's about to turn 7. The "older" kids in my grade were generally thought of as pretty cool in the younger grades, since being 6 as opposed to 5 is a status thing at that age...

Also, I know someone who started early (July birthday) because he was so smart, but he was very socially immature and had NO friends until late middle school/high school because of the reputation he earned for himself early on.

OP you're doing the right thing for your son. I can tell by your posts that you're really in tune with him.

I had 3 kids turn 6 before coming to Kinder and 1 who turned 5 the day before school started. All did great and ended the year reading above K level. Some turned 5 in July before school and WERE NOT ready at all. I think it all depends on how much the parents work with the child at home. Not just what is introduced in school.

You're the parent. You've seen him in Preschool. If there was any concerns you would know about it. You're doing what you think is best and that's what is important.

Quoting Chim Richalds:" It's not like hes starting when he's about to turn 7. The "older" kids in my grade were generally thought ... [snip!] ... himself early on. OP you're doing the right thing for your son. I can tell by your posts that you're really in tune with him."

Thanks girl. I think so, too lol

Quoting Freckleface Papaya:" I had 3 kids turn 6 before coming to Kinder and 1 who turned 5 the day before school started. All did ... [snip!] ... Preschool. If there was any concerns you would know about it. You're doing what you think is best and that's what is important."

Exactly right.

Most Kindergarten teachers I have talked to (family members of mine & friends of mine) have all said they'd rather have a 6 year old than a 5 year old, especially with boys, in their classrooms.

And yes it alwaysss depends on the child.