Happy with one child....

I've been doing a lot of thinking. SO & I will bounce back and forth on the idea of another kid. He's mostly "no". I'm usually in the middle.....

But now, I agree with SO. I'm happy with just our little girl. We've wondered what it'd be like to have a boy sometimes, but not enough to want one.

I believe it's official. Kiki will be our only child.

A lot played on our decision. Financial aspect, family support, emotional.....

Also, had a few guilt trips about how it's not fair for Kiki to not have a sibling, she won't have a close sibling relationship, she'll be lonely.
All in which we gave no smurfs about. Both SO & I have siblings and family......none of us have any type of relationship with them. Siblings aren't that important to us.

So the plan is, no babies. When Kiki gets old enough to go to school, I can finally go back to work. We can stack up again. We're building credit currently and should be able to buy a house once we have a little money stacked up. Once we buy a house, it's just paying it off, and maintaining the business. We plan on starting a college fund for Kiki also.

By the time we go, we want her to have her own home, a business to maintain if she wants, and a pretty solid bank account.

She might not have any siblings or family when we're gone, but she'll be set up just fine when she does decide to have a family of her own. I don't feel bad about that one bit  

  sounds like you guys are most definitely making the right decision for you.   Glad to hear you got it all worked out.  

Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:"   sounds like you guys are most definitely making the right decision for you.   Glad to hear you got it all worked out.   "

Thanks   It's such a relief   It was hard for me to agree, but it really is for the best. It does still break my heart to know that once we're gone, she'll have nobody, but that's not a reason for us to want to have another one kwim?

You sound like me I only want one my SO has two childre already he want four but yeah I only want one she will have siblings but they just don't live in the household with us. So basically I guess she will be lonely except for evry other weekend. I just think its the best decision for us we are doing the same thing working on credit and hoping to buy at the end of next year

Quoting Tavi:" Thanks   It's such a relief   It was hard for me to agree, but it really is for the best. It does ... [snip!] ... my heart to know that once we're gone, she'll have nobody, but that's not a reason for us to want to have another one kwim? "

And honestly once you guys buy a house and all that you could always change your mind down the road ya know? Honestly though your plan sounds perfect!

She'll be lonely? Not if you give her the support she needs and she has friends around her and other family, whether blood family or not. It makes me mad when people are like, "well - you're going to make your kid lonely" or "Your child will be spoiled if s/he is an only child." Just throw your middle finger up and tell them to smurf off. lol

She looks like a happy, healthy kid getting what she needs and you sound as if you'd rather put all your time and attention on her. That's how I am. I'm not sure I want another, or if I will ever have another. I'd be happy with another, but I'd be perfectly happy with just Alice.

DH and I had the same discussion. We both wanted two, after DD we weren't so sure.
We finally decided to make 2 our magic number and after this baby our family will be complete. Even if this one is a girl when he realllly wants a boy.
Have to do what you think is best for your family

Quoting sweetbea0906:" You sound like me I only want one my SO has two childre already he want four but yeah I only want one ... [snip!] ... just think its the best decision for us we are doing the same thing working on credit and hoping to buy at the end of next year"

Well shoot, that's great news for your LO. She'll still have siblings, to talk/hang out with when she gets older. I wish we were as close as buying a house at the end of next year though. It'd just be so much faster once I'm able to go back to work. It was amazing when both of us were working, now it's just...comfortable enough to take care of what needs to be taken care of and a little left over...Sounds like you had it planned out quicker than I did though,lol. Took me 2 1/2 years to really decide on this.

I'm an only child. Sometimes I wished i hada sibling, but then I see how jacked my moms siblings are and I'm happy bring the only child...   definitely not a bad choice! Right now DH and I want another, but we'll see! As long as she has you guys she'll be fine!  

Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" And honestly once you guys buy a house and all that you could always change your mind down the road ya know? Honestly though your plan sounds perfect! "

Yea, well the thing was if we did want another kid, I wanted Kiki and baby to be 4-5 years apart, but we don't have family support, I'd have to quit working to stay home for another 5 years with this kid, and there's time wasted when I could be stacking up to set Kiki's future...I guess it sounds greedy when I put it like that, but I really want her to be set.

Quoting Tavi:" Yea, well the thing was if we did want another kid, I wanted Kiki and baby to be 4-5 years apart, but ... [snip!] ... could be stacking up to set Kiki's future...I guess it sounds greedy when I put it like that, but I really want her to be set. "

True I didn't think of it like that, but ya know you have to have her best interest in mind.   Which it most definitely sounds like you do!  

Quoting ♥ Letters to Alice:" She'll be lonely? Not if you give her the support she needs and she has friends around her and other ... [snip!] ... sure I want another, or if I will ever have another. I'd be happy with another, but I'd be perfectly happy with just Alice. "

Lmao, yea, you have the right idea   I've had a few people tell me that....I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me think, and I didn't once agree with them...but then I pulled my head out of my ass and looked at their situations....I don't want that for Kiki. My mom actually told me that it's "irresponsible" to only have one kid. Which is funny because I thought having more kids than I could afford or take care of was irresponsible,lol.

Quoting Ari™:" I'm an only child. Sometimes I wished i hada sibling, but then I see how jacked my moms siblings are ... [snip!] ...   definitely not a bad choice! Right now DH and I want another, but we'll see! As long as she has you guys she'll be fine!  "

Hahah! Yea, that'll do it to ya.

When I was the only child, I didn't want any siblings. My mom told me I'd have a sister and I wanted to move out. Then once the baby came, I hated her. It's been 24 years and I still don't care much...

I envy you  

Quoting P3RvYmCp3rv:" True I didn't think of it like that, but ya know you have to have her best interest in mind.   Which it most definitely sounds like you do!   "

Thanks   I hate making long term decisions, but this is one that seems well thought out  

By the way, your daughter is absolutely beautiful.