The boyfriend's friends...

Every night for the past MONTH of more, my bf will go out to his friends' house until between midnight and 2 o'clock. Its not like he doesn't ask me to go, but I never feel up to it. I barely manage to drag myself out of bed in the morning!! Last night he wanted me to go to his friend Steven's house. They were going to play Guitar Hero and order a pizza he said. I said no, I was going to stay home and take a nap. So he asked if it was cool if he went. And I was like, "Sure, go ahead, I won't be any fun anyways." Then he was like, "You won't get mad at me?" And I was like, "Of course not, just go have fun." And he's like, "When do you want me to be back?" and I told him I wasn't going to give him a curfew. I told him to stay out however long he wanted, I would just be asleep when he got home, I just asked for a back massage before he left, b/c my back hurts SOOOOO much I just want to scream. And he says, "I ask you for a back massage all the time and you won't give me one, so no." And I was like, "Fine, then just leave." And he's like, "See, I told you that you would get mad at me." And then he left.... And I watched t.v. until 10:30 and went to sleep until 12:30 when he got home. I don't understand. He says he can't spend ALL his time with me, he wants to keep his friends, too, and I COMPLETELY understand that. I mean, I don't hang out with my old friends anymore, and I'm miserable, and I don't want him to be like that. But he doesn't spend ANY time with me!! He works late (he asks me to get off the vo tech bus at his shop everyday and I do, but I'm always so tired he ends up having to take me home and go back to his shop), and then he'll come home, eat something, talk to me for like 2 seconds, and then go hang out with his friends. It sucks. I've tried talking to him about it, but he just accuses me of trying to give him a guilt trip, even when I cry, he says I'm faking it. I'd go hang out with one of my friends while he's out with his, but like I said, I'm always tired, not to mention the fact that I haven't talked to most of them since I've been pregnant.

UMM he asked you if you wanted to go with him....and you said no so, what's the problem?
And if you want him to spend time with you when he asks you if it's ok if he goes or when to be home tell him your honest opinion.

Men are definately not mind readers.

Quoting Michelle_luvs_Doc:“ Every night for the past MONTH of more, my bf will go out to his friends' house until between midnight ... [snip!] ... his, but like I said, I'm always tired, not to mention the fact that I haven't talked to most of them since I've been pregnant.”

Hun, you told him to go. If yo would have said "Hey why dont we spend the night together tonight instead" he may have been totally find with that. you have to learn to say what you mean, men arent mind readers. (Unfortunately!) You cant be mad at him for doing what you told him to do.

The back massage comment was rude and probably should have gotten a kick in the balls for that one though ;)

When he "has" to spend time with me, he's just grumpy and rude all night and it always ends up with me trying to go to bed b/c he's like, "Damn, I wish I was high" "Damn, I wish I had a beer" I'm sooooo sick of it whenever he's home with me, he only wants to get high... well, its not just when he's home, its all the time, and he's like "You wanna take a pull off this?" and i'm like "no thanks, im tired enough as it is"......... I know I have to tell him how I feel but I don't know HOW. The other day I was like, "All you ever wanna do is get high" and he was like, "I was like this when we got together and you didn't have a problem with it then." Whatever, I suppose I should be handling this on my own, not asking people who, no offense, have no clue what its like.

Quoting Michelle_luvs_Doc:“ When he "has" to spend time with me, he's just grumpy and rude all night and it always ends up with me ... [snip!] ... then." Whatever, I suppose I should be handling this on my own, not asking people who, no offense, have no clue what its like.”

I know what it is like, and you just have to tell him he needs to grow up. When you met you weren't pregnant with his child. If he wants to get high then let him get high, just ask him to hang out with you afterwards. Just because he is with you doesn't mean he has to be sober. I still let my bf smoke and do what he wants, but you have to tell him the boundaries, if you act like there isn't any then he will do what he wants, and until he knows what you want you can't get mad at him for being a man.

Quoting Dev22:“ Hun, you told him to go. If yo would have said "Hey why dont we spend the night together tonight instead" ... [snip!] ... told him to do. The back massage comment was rude and probably should have gotten a kick in the balls for that one though ;)”

Don't feel sad honey... men are like our hormones... they change on a dime. Our bf want us to get angry and then when we don't they get angry to get us angry... Don't let him upset you, he's just a man. lol

I kind of know rthe feeling but a bit diffrent. My husband hardly goes out and when he does I feel like crap the entire time and when he calls to check in I try and sound happy but he can tell and comes home. Then I feel like a bitch because i'm all clingy and need him around to bbe happy, I would go out with friends but I'm not really social so it's hard for me to find friends. It's just confusing.

Quoting Linz♥Luis:“ Don't feel sad honey... men are like our hormones... they change on a dime. Our bf want us to get angry ... [snip!] ... bf want us to get angry and then when we don't they get angry to get us angry... Don't let him upset you, he's just a man. lol”

THAT'S SO TRUE!! And then he says I'm the one who always starts fights, like I WANT to fight with him or something! It's nice to know its not just me.

Quoting Akeema:“ I kind of know rthe feeling but a bit diffrent. My husband hardly goes out and when he does I feel like ... [snip!] ... to bbe happy, I would go out with friends but I'm not really social so it's hard for me to find friends. It's just confusing.”

Yeah, he called me clingy once, and I felt like shit and left him alone. Then I realized I'm not clingy, he's just.... whatever the opposite of clingy is. It's not my fault he doesn't want to be around me! I mean I cook for him, I clean, and it doesn't sound like much, but his friends are over and they leave HUGE messes for me to clean up, and my back hurts so bad all the time, and I try not to complain b/c I'll just be accused of putting my bf on a guilt trip or whatever.

Quoting .::BRiTTANY::.:“ I know what it is like, and you just have to tell him he needs to grow up. When you met you weren't ... [snip!] ... like there isn't any then he will do what he wants, and until he knows what you want you can't get mad at him for being a man.”

I was talking to one of his really good friends at lunch today at vo tech, and he said, "Smoking is one thing. Selling is another. You HAVE to tell him he CAN NOT SELL once you have that baby. B/C if he gets busted, even though you have nothing to do with it, you will both go to jail, and your baby will get taken from you." He's got about a dozen "babies" growing in the kitchen window right now, and a few more outside by the front porch, but I think they might've probably got ruined when it rained. I don't know why he has to make this so difficult for me!

Quoting Michelle_luvs_Doc:“ I was talking to one of his really good friends at lunch today at vo tech, and he said, "Smoking is ... [snip!] ... porch, but I think they might've probably got ruined when it rained. I don't know why he has to make this so difficult for me!”

Tell him he needs to choose then. I have no prob with weed, but when it puts your baby at a chance to be taken away then it should be stopped. He needs to grow up now and make big boy decsions, and if he can't do that then I would definately consider your relationship with him.

Quoting Michelle_luvs_Doc:“ I was talking to one of his really good friends at lunch today at vo tech, and he said, "Smoking is ... [snip!] ... porch, but I think they might've probably got ruined when it rained. I don't know why he has to make this so difficult for me!”

See you have now painted a completely different picture than you did in your original post. If he is high all the time, and selling, then that needs to stop. 1st, you dont want him thrown in jail. Second, what kind of an example is that to your kid? I have no problem with smoking weed, but he needs to grow up. Plus I am sure that the $$$ he spends on drugs and booze can go to much more productive things.

Im sorry about your situation, it sounds alot like mine actually. You said you want to talk to him but don't know how. I am exactly the same way i have alot of trouble communicating but what I do is I write him letters. It works great for me, maybe its something you can try and see if it works for you. Best of luck

OK... yesterday, his friend Steven O. (not Steven W. who is the Steven I've mentioned already) rode the bus to Doc's shop with me b/c he's about to move to Missouri to live with my friend Manda who he's been talking to on the phone and I guess they're dating now... anyways, at 7 o'clock, we were on our way back to the house, me, Doc, and Steve-O, and Doc's like, "Hey, that's Mr. Brack. I think I'll stop to talk to him. Michelle, do you want me to drop you off first?" And I was like, "Yes, definitely." So he drops me off and then leaves. At 9 o'clock, I decided I would go to sleep, b/c he still wasn't back and today's my last day of vo tech and I didn't want to stay up late, oversleep, and miss the bus, b/c I can't miss any more days if I want to graduate on the 20th from high school. So... I went in the bedroom... and the alarm clock was smashed to pieces. So I had to wait up for him, watching t.v., till he got home. I ended up passing out sometime between 12 and 1, quite possibly even later than that. Well, he got home, and I'm like, "What time is it, baby?" And he was like, "It's 12:25.... which I know is a lie b/c it was after that when I went to sleep, and I'd been asleep for awhile. And I was like, "What happened to the alarm?" And he was like, "We had a disagreement." So I'm like.... "Ok, night, babe... blah blah blah..." He laid down, and I THOUGHT I smelled liquor on his breath, but I wasn't for sure, so I didn't say anything. Oh, yeah, his excuse for being so late was that he had to do something or other w/ his car and then take Steve-O all the way out to his house by Cogar or whatever. So..... today, on the bus, I'm all sitting there, 'bout to fall asleep when I hear Steve-O tell that slut Nirae that he got "pretty buzzed" last night at Steven W.'s house (Doc did not mention that he went to Steven W.'s house), and that they played some kinda ping pong game. Doc and Steve-O were on a team and Steven W. and this guy Jacob were on a team and if one team made a shot, the other had to drink or some shit, and he said Steven W. and Jacob were drinking beer and him and Doc were drinking whiskey. I'm so mad!! Doc assumes I have a problem with his drinking with his friends but the only time I got upset was maybe the time when I asked him to sit by me and he's like, "No, I'm having fun". And the times he drives me home drunk. Stupid fucker, he claims to care so much about this baby, and its not even here yet and he's already messing up big time. Is he going to get hammered and take the baby for a joy ride once I give birth? I mean REALLY?! I'm at the end of my rope, I am so ready to leave him I just don't know what I'm supposed to do.

ewww you should just leave his ass and im sure he will realize that he is fucking up. If he changes great and if not your better off without him