Autism parents and discipline

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Quoting TurtleDove9309:" I have a question for autism moms. Please dont be rude. My son is almost 3 and has moderate to high functioning ... [snip!] ... and his therapists tell us he needs discipline just to keep it on a 1 year old level and try to redirect unless its dangerous."

I think the redirection is definitely important.
I have a belief in guidance instead of discipline. So one thing I would suggest would be finding an appropriate substitution for an inappropriate behaviour. If your child is jumping on the couch, invite him to jump on the floor or somewhere more safe with you. If your child is hitting himself find another outlet. First I would try to see if the hitting is for stimulation, or if the hitting only follows discipline and may be his way of further disciplining himself. If it's sensory find a better, safer sensory activity. If it's a response to discipline, maybe explore some hands off discipline techniques, so he does not learn to discipline himself physically.

He does bang his head and hit himself at other times but everytime we discipline him he does it too. He mostly does it when he is upset when he hasnt been disciplined and when he is having a meltdown or sensory overload.

Okay, well I am not a parent. I work as a support worker in a childcare centre. And so my suggestions are catered towards my experience. Except for what I have heard from parents, I do not know the difficulties you may face in your home setting.

One of my favourite approaches to take is called a behaviour action plan.
First you identify the behaviour you want to observe, so in this case hitting himself. Then you move on to observing the ABC's which are Antecedent, Behaviour, Consequence. So you take the time to really observe what happens before the behaviour, distinguish what the behaviour looks like in that particular instance, and then identify what the consequences are (how do you, your partner siblings react; what does the child obtain from the behaviour, is there a response that increases the behaviour, is there a response that decreases the behaviour?)
And with this observation you make a plan. By identifying certain antecedents you can learn to recognize them and avoid them before they happen. As your child gets older you can teach your child to identify the antecedents. You can decide on a more appropriate behaviour than hitting himself. Model walking away, or other techniques to regulate with overload. Provide a special space or special toy for your child when he is overloaded. Plan on how to respond to the behaviour in a way that does not increase it. Experiment with methods of discipline which do not trigger the hitting.

Hitting and head banging and bodily harm is such a scary behaviour to deal with, because you care so much about your child.
At this age I would suggest learning to prevent (when possible, which wont be always!) potentially stressful situations before they happen, and using redirection and modeling to help your son move past the behaviour into something more safe when it does occur.

I don't think hitting him is the best way, especially if it is making him hit himself. I would just try to redirect him with an appropriate activity or something that he enjoys.

he isnt jumping around to be bad....its a stimulation reponse. Some asd kids have an under stimulation issue and sime have an over stimulation issue. Just because he understands what ''no'' means doesnt mean he can control or regulate his body movements and if he stops one stimulation activity he will just start another (like slapping himself).....behavior therapy can help teach him ''less annoying'' ways to express his body movement ''needs''

<blockquote><b>Quoting 5 blessings so far....:</b>" he isnt jumping around to be bad....its a stimulation reponse. Some asd kids have an under stimulation ... [snip!] ... (like slapping himself).....behavior therapy can help teach him ''less annoying'' ways to express his body movement ''needs''"</blockquote>



The reason i dont want him jumping on furniture is he fell off and hit his head on an end table really hard and is lucky he didnt break his neck the way he fell. It scared me to death. I allow him to jump in place on the floor or trampoline. I understand it is good for them to be allowed to do these non harmful behaviors as comfort. I do agree popping him wasnt a good idea but for something dangerous like that i'm not sure what else to do. He goes to behavior therapy but when i go back i have to ask them about this but wanted opinions while i wait and some ideas on how to help with stopping harmful behavior.

Quoting TurtleDove9309:" <blockquote><b>Quoting 5 blessings so far....:</b>" he isnt jumping around to be bad....its ... [snip!] ... i have to ask them about this but wanted opinions while i wait and some ideas on how to help with stopping harmful behavior."

have the docs mentioned anything about possible adhd? both of my kids w/asd also have adhd.....when my son was a toddler the doc said it was okay to let him havealittle of my soda or coffee because it actually helped calm him down. Caffeine can have the opposite effect on people w/adhd.
if its definately just a stimulation response then it will be trial and error finding suitable ways to ''redirect'' his body movements, since each child is different.

<blockquote><b>Quoting 5 blessings so far....:</b>" have the docs mentioned anything about possible adhd? both of my kids w/asd also have adhd.....when ... [snip!] ... then it will be trial and error finding suitable ways to ''redirect'' his body movements, since each child is different."</blockquote>



They said they didnt think he has adhd. He is very hyper they said kids with autism where like that. Alot of his hyperness seems to be sensory. He is always jumping and running and spinning constantly.

I think redirection is important sometimes, but discipline can't be avoided forever. Our son (5, almost 6) is about that same level of functioning and we use the technique of losing objects or privileges. It has worked really well to curb his negative behavior. He's so attached to wearing shoes, hat and glasses all the time, we will take them away for a period of time as punishment. For us, positive reinforcement and loss of treasured objects/privileges works best....for now anyway!

I dont know if it will work for you, but instead of jumping off furniture, maybe having a safe area, where he can jump from the floor into a crash pad (tons of pillows). So then he knows that its not safe to jump off of furniture. Or maybe a tampoline, like a small in door one, where he can get his bounces out and be in a controlled area.
Does he have a favorite quite spot? I tell my daughter if she cant be nice then go to your room, (it's her quite spot). It stops tantrums and bad break downs for the most part. She doesnt do well with time outs either, cant sit still, fusses and cries and major break down. And instead of making it worse with a time out is when shes is redirected into something else. Whether its another activity she enjoys or just going to play something she can play with.

Quoting PA Mom:" I think redirection is important sometimes, but discipline can't be avoided forever. Our son (5, almost ... [snip!] ... of time as punishment. For us, positive reinforcement and loss of treasured objects/privileges works best....for now anyway!"

My daughter would be devistated if i took away a treasured item or object. She has major break downs when she cant find them, so i cant imagine what her break down level would be... not sure i wanna find out....

Quoting PA Mom:" I think redirection is important sometimes, but discipline can't be avoided forever. Our son (5, almost ... [snip!] ... of time as punishment. For us, positive reinforcement and loss of treasured objects/privileges works best....for now anyway!"

That's interesting because my son is constantly wearing his shoes, glasses, etc. and literally has to have t hem the second he wakes up. Anyway, he has meltdowns when we take anything away so it doesn't seem to work as discipline but his behavioral therapist recommended that.

Quoting BlueJenn:" I dont know if it will work for you, but instead of jumping off furniture, maybe having a safe area, ... [snip!] ... is redirected into something else. Whether its another activity she enjoys or just going to play something she can play with. "

He liked to "play" with his trains quietly but he is mostly just very active all the time and if he isn't lining up toys quietly he is bouncing off the walls all the time. He does enjoy his trampoline though. When he gets tired or upset is when he is the most hyper.