marriage vent

so me and my fiance were supposed to be getting married THIS MONTH on the 13th a somewhat big wedding, but now hes making up excuse's him and his mom are paying for everything we were going to get married in Africa, where hes from and where his dad is. but now we are waiting til next august so that we can save money for the baby instead. it sounds like a good idea but why not get city hall out of the way and THEN get married in Africa? he wont go to city hall -_- because hes disobeying his dad. i dont know why a 22 year old man needs approval from his dad who hasnt seen him since he came to America 9 years ago.
well anyway my weddings postponed teaaar teaaar i just wanted to be married BEFORE the baby gets here ! now i dont really wanty to go next year because ill have the baby , who would want to take a newborn to africa or even a infant? Not me.

thanks for listening to me vent .

If he was raised that it's supposed to be like that I would support his wishes

i think if he and his mother are paying for it, you can be upset all you want, but you really have no say. & i wouldn't want to go to Africa myself, let alone bring a child. Do you have family that would watch the baby while you get married, or is everyone going to the wedding?

Quoting sadelove:" so me and my fiance were supposed to be getting married THIS MONTH on the 13th a somewhat big wedding, ... [snip!] ... ill have the baby , who would want to take a newborn to africa or even a infant? Not me. thanks for listening to me vent ."

This is not right. It sounds like you two agreed on the wedding and date and then all of a sudden he changed his mind. Am I correct?

Quoting Lil' Nugget.:" i think if he and his mother are paying for it, you can be upset all you want, but you really have no ... [snip!] ... alone bring a child. Do you have family that would watch the baby while you get married, or is everyone going to the wedding?"

noone really has money to go to africa, which is another issue i want my family to be there. and OH WAIT i was going to pay for my own transportation there ! she was just doing the wedding. thats why city hall would have been nice my mom could have came and my dad. he should have never proposed if it was going to be this ! lol i tell him all the time

I think yall should just go now before you have the baby. Yes you need to save the money for the baby but it will be a million times harder to save the money after the baby is born. And like you said you don't want to travel all that way with an infant. Although he makes a good point not wanting to disobey his father because he was raised that way I'd like to make a better point. His dad surely did not raise him to get a woman pregnant before he was married to her. So I think he's already done a lot of disobeying.

Quoting MamaAkemi:" This is not right. It sounds like you two agreed on the wedding and date and then all of a sudden he changed his mind. Am I correct?"

indeed ! well he changed his mind when we found out i was pregnant which dont make sense since we planned it

Quoting Stina♥ {14 Weeks}:" I think yall should just go now before you have the baby. Yes you need to save the money for the baby ... [snip!] ... did not raise him to get a woman pregnant before he was married to her. So I think he's already done a lot of disobeying."

exactly

Quoting sadelove:" noone really has money to go to africa, which is another issue i want my family to be there. and OH ... [snip!] ... nice my mom could have came and my dad. he should have never proposed if it was going to be this ! lol i tell him all the time"

well it's your wedding too. if he wants it that bad in africa, then you should get a wedding too that your family will be able to experience. how can he just leave your family out of it like that?

doesn't seem fair at all.

Why can't you see if he will be willing to do a wedding here on the date you agree on for your family here and then do another one in Africa when you can get there? Like a vow renewal on your one year anni?

Quoting 3 little monsters:" Why can't you see if he will be willing to do a wedding here on the date you agree on for your family ... [snip!] ... on for your family here and then do another one in Africa when you can get there? Like a vow renewal on your one year anni

sounds like a plan i will see to that. hes hardheaded and likes things his way. we are working on that though . another thing he wants to name the baby afrench name. i dont think its fair what if i cant pronounce it. lol he sees it like this : im the carrier the baby came from him lol. im mixed, irish indian and jamaican but he says my babys JUST AFRICAN . i just let him talk. but yeah he likes his way or no way which is not really good he wasnt like this before or maybe i just couldnt see it because i was too in love

That's not fair to you at all. Especially if your family couldn't make it all the way there. And I definately wouldn't want to take a baby to Africa, too far away but mostly because there's potential for too many diseases.

yeah i know its not fair. i just dont really know what else to say. i brought it up with him one time then he was like why dont we get married in 5 years im like WHAT WHY ? just because he was mad lol. hes a handful. ive spoken to my mom and dad and asked them if it would be hard for them to come up with the money. i know my dad just does not want to go.

thanks for the suggestions.
im going to BEG for us to go to city hall.
if not we will have to just wait i was in a rush before but now , i dont really care . its annoying.

but thanks again, for listening to me vent about my complicated fiancee
another thing to understand we are young im 19 and hes 21 maybe he got cold feet ? i dont know what it is but Im working with him lol thats my baby !
thanks yall

Why don't y'all to get married first and have the wedding later. Me and my boyfriend don't Wanda wedding because of situations like this. Its a money saver also. Its just going to be me him and our baby girl on the beach getting married with no entourage. Then picture taking and honeymoon with what will be our 8 to 9 month old. Everyone else can get a postcard (LOL jk... Actually that's a good idea). Stress free n criticism free. We do have parental approvals. Just a thought for y'all two since you really want it b4 your baby's born which I think is a great idea. Ask him to marry with just y'all two then have wedding later.