alot of poeple think i am being mean

so my now ex boyfriend has been overseas since feb he came home for 18 days when our son was 5 days old and he is still gone til nov when he gets hom eour son will be around 8 or 9 months old i am not saying he cant see our son he can as much as he wants but i have said he cant take tyler out of the house alone for the frist little bit well tyler gets comfrotable around him again ...and when tyler is comfrotable arund him whenever that is he can take him were he wants but i have had his friends tell me that its wrong if i do that that i shouldnt do that to my kid

It's his child.

That sounds reasonable.

Quoting triple'xxx:" It's his child."

Yes it's his child but his child won't know him. I completely understand her.

i know its his kid and i am not keeping him from him he knows he can come to the house and see him as much as he wants ...last time tyler has seen his dad he wasnt even a month olod and then agaain at 8 months ....just tyler is comfrotable about his dad since he has been away he can take tyler anywere he wants

That sounds reasonable to me. I wouldn't let anyone my child doesn't know take him somewhere without me.

just because it is his kid too doesnt mean the child is going to be comfortable with him right away. he hasnt been around him very much. my LOs dad wasnt aloud to take him for a long time. i think your doing the right thing. going too fast with this could scare the baby.

Your right. He should build a better relationship with the child before he takes lo anywhere. The child should be comfortable with him before he's without you. I understand that's his child but, if the child's uncomfortable ... he'll probably just be super fussy anyway.

i am not holding it against him that isnt isnt here and i know he loves his son but he is in the army and on a 9 month tour i just cant bring myself to make tyler go somewere with him if he isnt comfrtoable i have even said if he wants to take tyler out i dont have to go but take my sister ot brother in law with him since they have been around since he was bron that way there is someone that he knws with them as well

No you're not being mean. You've spent every day with your son and he's more comfortable at home with you near instead of leaving home with someone he don't really know,even if it's his father. Wait until he's used to him then I'd let them go out together.

i understand that. does he have any other kids? babies take some getting used to. if this is his first child he will probably need you to help him grow comfortable with meeting the responsibilities of having a baby under your supervision. he will need to baby-proof where ever he is staying and will need to learn to mix bottles and what your son can and cannot eat. i don't think you're being mean, just cautious of your son. he's not going to recognize him as daddy at first, but he will over time.

You are not doing anything wrong by this. My ex is also Army. He left when our daughter was 8 months. He came home for her 1st birthday and it took her 30 mins before she'd go to him bc even with all the times he'd been on webcam with her, she still didn't recognize him.

yes its it frist baby for was home for 18 days 5 days afterhe was bron...his mom undterstands were i am coming from ..but i have friends that dont have kid telling tht it isnt right si i just figured i would get advise from other moms

Quoting felicia shelly:" yes its it frist baby for was home for 18 days 5 days afterhe was bron...his mom undterstands were i ... [snip!] ... from ..but i have friends that dont have kid telling tht it isnt right si i just figured i would get advise from other moms"

Dont listen to your friends who dont have kids, they dont know anything about this type of stuff.

I do advise you to go get custody established before he sees him so that way he can take him but cant keep him..

e are going to court he has said already he will give me soul cusdtroy that he wont fight me but wants to still be in tylers life full time which i am %100 ok with