re: Was this a normal way for my mum to act?

Quoting lolarose:" yep I'm sorry but this has to be said, if god forbid my son turned round and told me what I told my mum I would think I failed as a mother. That's just my opinion."

You don't fail as a mother if your child gets bullied, you have no control over what others kids do to your child. She would've failed as a mother if you told her back when it happened and didn't do anything about it, but she can't do anything about it now. As a mother, I would ask regularly if everything goes well in school, and watch her behaviour anyway... If I believe something was wrong I would probably approach it and ask her more clearly if she gets bullied. But if she wouldn't tell me anything and who and what, what is a mom to do?!

If she came up to me as a grown up telling me that she was bullied in school, I'd probably feel sorry that she had to go through this without me and would say that I am sorry that she had to go through this and ask her why she didnt tell me when it happened so we could do something about this.

Quoting Mami™:" You don't fail as a mother if your child gets bullied, you have no control over what others kids do ... [snip!] ... sorry that she had to go through this and ask her why she didnt tell me when it happened so we could do something about this. "

A mother is supposed to protect her children from harm even from those kids she has no control over. I don't know how someone can sit there and say they they have been a good mother when her child was going through misery most of her childhood, a good mother knows when her kids are happy and content.
You have your opinion and I have mine.

Quoting lolarose:" A mother is suppossed to protect her children from harm even from those kids she has no control over. ... [snip!] ... someone can sit there and say they they have been a good mother when her child was going through misery most of her childhood."

if you kept it from her, then you cannot blame her for anything.

How was she supposed to know what was going on if you didn't say anything?

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" if you kept it from her, then you cannot blame her for anything. How was she supposed to know what was going on if you didn't say anything?"

Actions speak louder than words. That is all I have to say.

I was so miserable inside I'm sure that must have shown on the outside too. I
do not speak for every bullied child out there but in general it is quite easy to spot a child who is being bullied especially if it is one of your own. I should be having this conversation with her not on here but it's too much for me to speak about it we have never had a close relationship....after having my child it brought back memories of my own childhood argh

Quoting lolarose:" Actions speak louder than words. That is all I have to say."

well I hope you're a good mind reader then.

Quoting lolarose:" A mother is supposed to protect her children from harm even from those kids she has no control over. ... [snip!] ... misery most of her childhood, a good mother knows when her kids are happy and content. You have your opinion and I have mine."

So in other words you're just looking for someone to blame. Sorry your childhood sucked, but it's not your mothers fault.

You have no idea what kinds of things kids hide from adults. I guess every parent of a child that is being molested on the regular is to blame as well for not noticing a change in their kid? You're totally right. We should lock them up with the pedophiles as well, they are allowing it to happen after all.

Quoting lolarose:" A mother is supposed to protect her children from harm even from those kids she has no control over. ... [snip!] ... misery most of her childhood, a good mother knows when her kids are happy and content. You have your opinion and I have mine."

Of couse a mother is supposed to protect her children from harm, but how could she if she didn't know about it? If you don't speak up what is she going to do? I agree with you, that a good mother should notice when something is up with their children - but seriously - you cannot expect her to read your mind. You say actions speak louder than words? Well, what did you do that could've given her a hint? Kids, especially teenagers are going through major changes (puberty), they are miserable, bitchy and emo all the time, which doesn't necessarily mean they are being bullied.

Quoting The Great Mustachio:" So in other words you're just looking for someone to blame. Sorry your childhood sucked, but it's not ... [snip!] ... their kid? You're totally right. We should lock them up with the pedophiles as well, they are allowing it to happen after all."

I am not saying they need locking up, but surely you wouldn't consider someone to be a good mother if their child went through misery. You have to earn the title of a good mother. I have nothing more to say in this topic.

Quoting lolarose:" I am not saying they need locking up, but surely you wouldn't consider someone to be a good mother if ... [snip!] ... if their child went through misery. You have to earn the title of a good mother. I have nothing more to say in this topic."

You have no clue lady. None at all.

I'm glad to see you shutting your ignorant trap.

Quoting lolarose:" I am not saying they need locking up, but surely you wouldn't consider someone to be a good mother if ... [snip!] ... if their child went through misery. You have to earn the title of a good mother. I have nothing more to say in this topic."

My daughter fell from her bike yesterday, had a bleeding knee, she was pretty miserable. I guess.. I'm a not a good mother anymore.. ;) How good that my daughter knows better than that.

Quoting Mami™:" My daughter fell from her bike yesterday, had a bleeding knee, she was pretty miserable. I guess.. I'm a not a good mother anymore.. ;) How good that my daughter knows better than that. "

I was bullied for 5 years, that is all through my secondary school, I would hardly compare that to falling from your bike. This is very personal and you don't know what went on in my life,I shouldn't have made a thread like this. I shouldn't expect people on here to know what went on.

Quoting lolarose:" I was bullied for 5 years, that is all through my secondary school, I would hardly compare that to falling ... [snip!] ... know what went on in my life,I shouldn't have made a thread like this. I shouldn't expect people on here to know what went on."

I just said it with the bike because my daughter told me how "miserable" she felt. She is only 4, but to her - it was a misery. Whatever happens in childhood it is always a big deal. That's why I brought it up, because you said that the mother is no good when children go through misery. Unfortunately, this is life. I absolutely agree that being bullied is a horrible thing and that it is unacceptable. But I also feel for your mother, she is only human too and has no super powers like mind reading. The only thing you could accuse her of is that you couldn't go to her with your problems, thats what I want for my child. That she comes to ME when something is happening. I am sure your mother would've done something if she knew about it when it happened, but again, what is she supposed to do now? Feel bad for the rest of her life that you didn't tell her? You are right, none of us here know your story or your mother, but you still say you can't talk to her about it now because it is so hurtful thats why you wrote here. Communication is the key in every relationship. And it has to come from both sides.

I really hope you can get over this, forgive your mom for whatever you think she did wrong here and I hope that you can read your childs mind when it comes that far. To me, the best prevention against bullying is to give your child the self-esteem and selfworth to not even get into the postion of a victim. I was bullied in school but I opened my mouth, and it was over as soon as I stood up for myself and didn't put myself in the position of being a possible victim for bullies.

Quoting lolarose:" I was bullied for 5 years, that is all through my secondary school, I would hardly compare that to falling ... [snip!] ... know what went on in my life,I shouldn't have made a thread like this. I shouldn't expect people on here to know what went on."

Do you think you're the only person that has been bullied? I was verbally bullied for my entire primary school life starting on the very first day of school by someone 5 years above me.

My parents didn't know about any of it until High School when it started getting physical. They did what they could but it's really nothing considering the schools themselves don't give a smurf.

How do I know? because my kids got bullied at school, but they told me. When the school did nothing (and by nothing I mean they scolded me for calling the kids "bullies" Oh that's a bad word, we don't use that word here  ) I pulled them out and I home schooled them now.

Why was I able to do that?

Because they told me. Duh.