re: open marriage?

sex isn't just sex, eventually if its done over again with the same person then eventually there can become feelings for that person. my sister and her husband used to be just swingers, but the women they were doing it with ended up leaving her husband and kids over it and tried to get my BIL to leave my sister and his kids. It has lead to my BIL cheating and talking to random women and it has become an open marriage and has started to effect my nieces big time and has actually started to effect my whole family. So seeing what has happened with my sister and BIL and the fact that my husband is MINE and we got married to be with just eachother and no one else, I wouldn't ever do it. I believe that marriage is between 2 people, if you want to be with other people then why get married to that one person?

I would like to watch SO have sex with another man *shrug* he's open to the idea

Quoting Destiel:" I would like to watch SO have sex with another man *shrug* he's open to the idea"

you wanna see your man smurf another dude? seriously? im not against gay people but i dont want my husband touching a man in that way. id be turned off big time

Quoting 3 Pumpkins:" you wanna see your man smurf another dude? seriously? im not against gay people but i dont want my husband touching a man in that way. id be turned off big time"

thats you ... this is me.

and a man being attracted to a man doesn't make him gay ... my man is bi-curious. I'm bi-sexual its just who we are.

Quoting Destiel:" thats you ... this is me. and a man being attracted to a man doesn't make him gay ... my man is bi-curious. I'm bi-sexual its just who we are."

good luck to you. i hope he doesnt leave you for a man

Quoting 3 Pumpkins:" good luck to you. i hope he doesnt leave you for a man"

why would he lol I was bi-sexual before I met him and have slept with other girls since for his viewing pleasure ... I haven't left him for one in the last 9 1/2 years.

I don't like to share.

First, divorce happens to monogamist people all the time. So yes, if
The relationship is already smurfed then an open relationship is going to put a nail in the coffin.
I personally could not have a open relationship. Although I do share as we are swingers. We see it more as a hobbie we do in the winter. Haha. Usually in the summer we're too busy kiteboarding. So anyway it takes a lot of communication and love to be in this relationship. We have to talk about every emotion that we have, good or bad. If feelings develop we must talk to each other about it and take care of it with love. though for every couple we've talked to and fooled around with I would never ever want to be with either member of the couple.

And to the girl who thinks a husband will leave for a man because he's bi curious has no education in human sexuality!! I am bi and would never want to be with another person let alone another women. Even if god forbid something happened to my dh I would still seek a man.

Quoting kitermom:" First, divorce happens to monogamist people all the time. So yes, if The relationship is already smurfed ... [snip!] ... to be with another person let alone another women. Even if god forbid something happened to my dh I would still seek a man."

he wants to have an experience with another man ... we've been together since he was 18 and hadn't fully developed his sexuality ... luckily I get enormously turned on by man on man action. The way I see it is I would rather him do it with me than to go out and get taken advantage of one night.
He would never ever never cheat on me and is the most amazing man in the world. He's the kind of guy who would rather come home to watch Cars with his son than go out with his friends, and today he came home with a headache but picked DS up from daycare because he wanted to be with him. I don't see why him wanting to try sucking dick automatically means he's a cheating deadbeat. The other posters comment kind of upset me that she would assume that he would do something like that

Yeah, small minded people. It's really an old immature way of thinking. Not every relationship is the same. And not every relationship has to be void of true feelings. I like that my husband feels enough trust in me and our relationship to be honest with me. He has no worries of backlash to communicate what he wants or likes and that honesty is far more intimate then sex.

Be who you are and always trust in your relationship only.

Quoting kitermom:" Yeah, small minded people. It's really an old immature way of thinking. Not every relationship is the ... [snip!] ... he wants or likes and that honesty is far more intimate then sex. Be who you are and always trust in your relationship only."

we're BDSM so our relationship dynamic is incredibly different anyway ... and I think far more intimate than a 'normal' relationship

Not for me, who am I to judge others for doing it though?

Quoting natasha's ♥ mom:" Nope wouldn't, couldn't and shouldn't. Defeats the purpose of marriage in my eyes. "

I agree with this.

I couldn't do it and don't personally believe in it. I think if you're going to be screwing around with other people, that defeats the whole meaning of marriage. My husband is mine and I am his. Period. If he got to the point of wanting to smurf other people, then that'd be the end of us.

It's dumb. Marriage is making a commitment to only be with each other, forever, and remain faithful. If you want it open, don't get married, simple as that, and just have an open relationship.