good mom vs. good dad

"If you are a good mom, you are doing your job. If you are a good dad, you are doing something amazing"

Do you agree that this is a standard held in society? How do you feel about this statement?

Thats bullsmurf...wtf.

No I don't agree at all. But it's the way society views it, I guess. I mean, everybody acted like my sons father should win a gold medal for coming down on a bus 8hrs to see his child TWICE. wah wah wahh. Give me a break.

 

I think it's interesting that it's expected of the mom to automatcially be a good parent, but it's not expected of the father to be a good parent.

It's really stupid.

that makes it sound like its oh so amazing for a dad to be a "good dad"

both mothers and fathers should be good parents or they shouldnt have kids

It is the way society is unfortunately.

SOs mum acts like he's cured cancer if he feeds LO so I can have a shower.  

Quoting RetroMama:" It is the way society is unfortunately. SOs mum acts like he's cured cancer if he feeds LO so I can have a shower.  "

Lmao...I hate that. Its like he is Jesus and you're chopped liver, happens to me all the time.

It's definitely true for society. It's bullsmurf though and I'm so glad that it doesn't hold water in DH's family. Him and both of his cousins who have kids are AMAZING fathers and that's expected by their family.

Quoting Witty Whit™:" Lmao...I hate that. Its like he is Jesus and you're chopped liver, happens to me all the time."

Drives me mental.

I had both boys on the couch with me, both sick and throwing up, I didn't sleep AT ALL. SO basically got treated like a superhero because he went to work with a headache the next day. Me? Well I'm mum and that's just my job.  

Apparently you can not pay chilsupport, do drugs aroudn your children and be a good dad. Now have a mom that refuses to work, does drugs aroudn the kids, keeps a disaster of a place they are a bad mom. I just don't get it.

I think it is totally hypocritical, but it's the way society cries things. And you know what, SO is a more attentive parent then me. But I feel that things being viewed this way, makes it easy for a dad to leave. because it's not that big of a deal, so many men do it. And I don't mean leave the mom, but the child. If a man becomes a single father, we'll he's just sent from heaven ain't he? But a single mother, should have kept her legs closed. I hope that this can change eventually, by the way children are raised, but to fight society is hard. I don't believe in my time I will see this ever happen.

I also hate it when society demonizes a single mother by calling her a "slut" and "irresponsible", but a single dad is some white knight in shining armor. It is smurfing ridiculous.

Men shouldn't get pats on the shoulder for paying child support and raising the children THEY made. And yet, society has such a lower standard of fathers.

On the flip side, notice how Mother's Day is far more advertised than Father's Day.

I think it's because it was so "traditional" for so long....i.e. the mother stays home to raise the kids, the father goes to work to support them. So in essence, the father is a "good dad" just by going to work even if he never spends a minute with the children.
But obviously times have changed and there are more families with 2 working parents....and in that case BOTH parents should be taking care of the children equally.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" I also hate it when society demonizes a single mother by calling her a "slut" and "irresponsible", but ... [snip!] ... has such a lower standard of fathers. On the flip side, notice how Mother's Day is far more advertised than Father's Day."

Seriously.

BD got smurfing praised to Smurf for finishing college (while not seeing his daughter for the 2 years after she was born which was supposed to be only 1 year).

I got shoulder shrugs when I finished college while taking care of LO. That's my JOB.

But him? His job was to be in school. Vurry important.

And NOW he's praised to smurf because he sees his daughter every other weekend, and pawns her off on Grandma. He's such a good father! He sees her every other weekend! Omigah! (But lets not mention that he doesn't have a job, doesn't pay for the roof over his or his daughter's head, doesn't help with preschool costs, food costs, zero. Still must be praised to bits because he is "involved")