Quoting La Reggaetonista:" I'm so sorry for your losses. It makes me feel even worse to remember that so many people would have ... [snip!] ... hard to consider adoption but it was just a constant reminder that I would be binded to him forever. I didn't love that baby..."
Don't feel bad. You did what you did. And you keeping that baby or trying to deliver it and give it to someone else wouldn't have made my situation any different. So why be bitter toward you about it?
Women who just have one because they didn't feel like using BC or didn't use it properly (ya know, forget it for 3 days and then wonder why it didn't work
) or women who have had multiple abortions sometimes make me feel bitter about what I go through depending on the woman and the situation, but NEVER women who have been raped (even by a former lover, since that's more common than most realize).
After what I've gone through, I don't believe I'd ever have an abortion under ANY circumstances (and I say that as a survivor of molestation, so I understand the emotions of that too). BUT, what I would choose to do and what I think others should choose to do are not something I need to foist upon other women trying to deal with their own thing.
I can't tell you how many people when they hear of my history tell me that I should stop trying and just adopt or surreptitiously act like "well, they chose to get pregnant again, knowing the risk, so what did they expect" thinking I can't read the look on their faces---they don't have the right to dictate what I do or how I feel about the outcome anymore than I have the right to tell someone they should or should not have an abortion and that IF they do, they don't get to feel bad about it after, ya know?
So don't sweat it. Plenty of us fertility-challenged folks (well, at least those looking to adopt; I'm not there yet) would have loved that baby for you---but that doesn't give anyone the right to pressure you to go through something that YOU can't cope with. Worry about you first. Smurf everyone else AND the horse they rode in on.