Quoting Stevah:" they are 2 and 4. I use time outs, rest time, taking away toys and privileges, I communicate with them. ... [snip!] ... but always act fine for them!! I try to compensate for their lack of discipline and then I'm the one being rebelled against "
So those who have them while you are working do NOT discipline but when you discipline is when they act out?
It sounds like they are fine for everyone else who doesn't discipline because they are getting their way but because they know that you DO discipline & they dislike it, also want your attention, they act out anyway. It doesn't make much sense to us but I guess to a child it does. That is frustrating & I'm sorry
Your 4 year old especially should be listening! The two year old is a little more understandable but still, not appropriate.
I think you also need to have a chat with everyone else when it comes to the disciplining. Everyone needs to be on the same page. (I've been trying to get this through to my DH's head!!!)