I don't know why

I was raped a few years back. I can't even really talk about it. To anyone. A few people know it happened, but not how it happened. Or any details. I have never really thought about it at all. But all of a sudden it's been on my mind all the time and I feel like crap. I just recently weened myself off my anti-depressants and I've been feeling so smurffy about it. I think i need to go back on them. I should probably talk to a thereapist about it, but I just can't get the words out. At all.

Im sorry. i do understand though. Its been almost five years since i was raped and sometimes it dsoesnt even phase me, and then sometimes randomly in the middle of the night i get anxiety attacks from it. I dont understand it. If you want im on here alot and you can talk to me about it whenever you want. hope you feel better

Quoting JessicaNjesse:" Im sorry. i do understand though. Its been almost five years since i was raped and sometimes it dsoesnt ... [snip!] ... it. I dont understand it. If you want im on here alot and you can talk to me about it whenever you want. hope you feel better"

Thanks. Most of the time I don't really care either way. It's like it didn't actually happen. And when I've told the few people who know I actually have to force myself not to sound too casual about it. But when I'm alone it really tears me up. I have to literally force myself not to cry because I'm so afraid to let the emotions out. I don't want to not be able to bottle it up anymore if I let it out.

I think that maybe you should talk to a therapist about it. Therapy really helped me out alot. I felt alot better about myself. I have noticed when i bottle up my emotions, ( either about the rape or just plain anything) i get anxiety and explode after a while. So i really try to let my emotions out and talk to someone. either on here, or to a friend. I wish i could talk to DH and family about it, but i just cant talk to them about it. I was in highschool when it happened and my mom called my principal and told her, and my principal told all of my teachers, and now i have major trust issues because of it.