Change in attitude when you are a mom with special needs kid

We seem to have some of the hardest jobs in the world when it comes to taking care of our special needs kids but I’m wondering if any of you ladies find yourself having a hard time tolerating other adults since your child has been diagnosed with autism or any other special need?

I find myself being less tolerating of people, especially other adults. Sometimes I don’t think before I speak/type (which this has been normal for me, it just seems to be getting worst lately).

I’ve pissed off a few childhood friends lately because I did give them an honest opinion on a matter which they didn’t like. I don’t think I was in the wrong but I been having a bad habit of not knowing when I should keep an opinion to myself. I don’t like drama but it always seems to find me and I wonder if it’s my own doing.

I’m under a lot of stress. I have bi-polar disorder, depression, fibromyalgia, and sleep apnea. On top of it I’m taking care of my autistic son. Been doing this for the last 8 years and most of the time it’s just been me and him while boyfriend was working or off with friends. I don’t get a break so my patience has flown on the door. I find myself snapping at people when maybe they don’t really deserve it.

I just don’t know how to fix this. I know I can’t make everyone happy and everyone has their days.

Quoting UniqueMommy1984:" We seem to have some of the hardest jobs in the world when it comes to taking care of our special needs ... [snip!] ... don’t really deserve it. I just don’t know how to fix this. I know I can’t make everyone happy and everyone has their days. "

It's not easy being a mom, or having bipolar, or having a special needs kid, or having fibro.

I know, because I have three of those things. I can't imagine raising an autistic child, too.

A close, dear friend of mine has a child with aspergers. She's learned that you have to be very VERY literal in your intentions with her, and while I understand these are two very different disorders, you have to do the same with autistic children. Of course you're going to be more brash and totally honest. Your day to day life is dealing with a person who thinks in black and white. If they get butthurt because of an honest opinion then that is something they have to deal with, not you.

I know I'm not dealing with the same thing but I know from having those two illnesses that it's hard to take crap from anyone, and when it does show up you want it gone and FAST. I don't keep friendships and relationships are out of the question for me right now, but I wouldn't change myself or anything I'm doing just to get someone to like me.

There will be people that will be there for you, hun. Feel free to message me anytime you need to vent. It'd be nice having a friend with bipolar and FMS to talk to myself =]

We have good friends who had a baby a year ago after trying for years to get pregnant. The baby was born with several disorders and his life expectancy was two years. He is reaching his first birthday on August 10th and has far surpassed every milestone that they placed for him and continues to make huge strides every day. The parents simply amaze me with their can do attitude and they treat their son as if he were a baby with no special needs. I applaud those of you that fight this battle and commend you for your attitude and love and hope.

Quoting Terra&Addie(::" It's not easy being a mom, or having bipolar, or having a special needs kid, or having fibro. I know, ... [snip!] ... hun. Feel free to message me anytime you need to vent. It'd be nice having a friend with bipolar and FMS to talk to myself =]"

Thanks hon, is it okay if I parent tank?

Quoting UniqueMommy1984:" Thanks hon, is it okay if I parent tank? "

Go ahead! I'll PT you back just so I can keep tabs on your situation =]

Quoting Terra&Addie(::" Go ahead! I'll PT you back just so I can keep tabs on your situation =]"

Thanks, I'm going to start going to counseling so maybe that individual could give me some insight too. This year has just been a smurffy year I think. Although the last few years have been bad I think this has been the worst yet. I can't wait for it to be over already.

I'm sorry things are so difficult and stressful for you   It sure does not sound easy.

I may be in the wrong though and if I am feel free to correct me! Reading your message the first thing that popped into my mind is sure it can be a lack a patience since it is worn so thin lately, but also, coming to terms with the fact that you have fibro, bipolar disorder, sleep apnea and a child in the spectrum. You had to face things as they were. No sugar coating. These situations are of the type where there is no room to deny or brush off. You face it everyday as it is no matter how unpleasant or difficult and you don't get a parade for doing it either.

Perhaps it's not just a lack of patience in general but more like you are so used to be honest and forward with your difficult situations, you may have a hard time understanding and even tolerating why others just can't have the same approach in life? Or perhaps a little less patience with individuals who will sit and whine and whine and whine and never get up and do something about their situation?

I know I've had a hard time with it. 2 out of 3 of my children a disabled. were severely delayed and non verbal. My son is better at 7 but still struggles greatly. My daughter is 5 is still basically non verbal and is also autistic. My 3rd child is only moderately delayed in speech. I have endometreosis affecting my uterus but also my bladder, intestine and I have some on nerves in my lower back causing sciatica or everything to just lock. I'm in pain constantly if it's not that bad on that day it's migraines. Struggled with depression all my life as well. But like you and I'm sure many more mothers out there, I get the F*** up, take a damn pain pill if it's too bad and take on the full day as it comes. I find myself irritated when I see for example my SIL crying because she has a cold and leaves her toddler at her mom's for a week to "recuperate". I find myself saying, welcome to motherhood, take a dayquil and friggen move on! It sucks but you gotta do what you gotta do!

Again if I read this wrong I apologize. I'm really hoping things start to get more positive for you. Sending you hugs mama