Quoting Batman ♥:" A year ago today I was pregnant but hadn't realized it yet. If I hadn't gotten an abortion I would be ... [snip!] ... it ALL. But it hurts more than anything knowing that no matter how much I want and will it to change... it never will. SmUrf."
Trust me, I know how that feels. There's really nothing I can say to make it better but when those days come around (the anniversary) just try not to think about it, keep urself occupied. I'm really sorry and I know how terrible of a feeling it is. Just remember, the reasons for what happened are still valid. At that point in your life, it was the best thing to do. <3