Is she spoiled or am i just trying to hard...?

( Sorry Long) So my LO is turned 4 last month. She is really ungrateful sometimes and i don't know if it is because she is just a spoiled single child or if i am just expecting to much.

example : we went to the carnival a last week and she got an ice cream went on a kids ride and went on a bigger ride with us together. After getting off the kids ride she was not really impressed and said 'i should have gone on that one instead' Then after going on the bigger ride with us and still wasn't impressed and acted like she just didn't care. She wan't then to get candy and play games. We left the carnival after that because we couldn't afford to do everything she wanted and i was annoyed that she wasn't happy that we had done anything at all.

Example : Today i used hairspray to make my hair silly and painted my face wile she was in the bathtub just to make her laugh and she didn't care at all. said "why did you do that? " I said "because it's funny" she said "no it's not".

Why do i try to do special things for her if she doesn't give a smurf anyway... Or a i just doing to much? how do i cut back on 'special things' so that they mean more? It took us so long to have her so i am sure we spoil her but i don't want her to grow up and be ungrateful for the things she has because we don't have that much. Help!

She kinda sounds like my niece. My niece is not spoiled at all. She's just very serious.

Quoting sick_girl:" ( Sorry Long) So my LO is turned 4 last month. She is really ungrateful sometimes and i don't know if ... [snip!] ... we spoil her but i don't want her to grow up and be ungrateful for the things she has because we don't have that much. Help!"

no advice, sorry. just watching because i know a child a lot like this. it's horrible to me. it makes me feel bad, too. sorry you're going through it.

OMG.. my 5 year old stepdaughter is exactly like that. We give her a toy, its not good enough, she asks why she didn't get another specific toy she wanted. We took her to the fair last month, she went on every ride she wanted, some of them twice, got a giant lollipop, cotton candy and pepsi (which is a treat for her) then she flipped because the face painting place was closing up.. its like every other thing she got really didn't matter anymore. I think its partially that they're spoiled and partially that its just what comes with that age.

I think it is an only child thing. My daughter is 9 and she is still that way. I now am having a new baby in one week and we have been trying to do some "extra" things so she doesn't feel left out and she hasn't been appreciative of anything, in fact always asks what else she can have. It is so frustrating. In fact DH and I told her no more new things or special outings until she can at least say thank you. Might have been harsh to some people, but I am at my very last wits end with it. Now I would like to add that she is super well behaved normally and so I am wondering if it is just acting out with a new baby on the way, but it definitely doesn't make it easy. I hope your LO takes it easy on you mama!

wow how did she get like that? maybe just stop giving in to her? maybe have her pick toys to donate to children who dont have any. donate clothing? seems she needs to be shown that she is a very lucky little girl.

Sounds like it's partly her age... That being said, while at the carnival, when she wanted more and more, I would have told her that she's lucky that we came at all! That if she's not happy about the things that she got to do, then we wouldn't do them anymore. If she's not grateful and saying thank you for a toy, it will be taken away. May sound harsh, but that's my gut feeling.

I'm sure there are kid books that you can read to her about people who need our help because they don't have much or something. Another thing you might do is have her pick some toys to donate and make a big deal about how other kids aren't as lucky as her. Good luck!!

Quoting -BLT-:" Sounds like it's partly her age... That being said, while at the carnival, when she wanted more and more, ... [snip!] ... you might do is have her pick some toys to donate and make a big deal about how other kids aren't as lucky as her. Good luck!! "

That is some great advise, I know I am not the OP but I actually having been considering just going in myself and bagging up anything my daughter doesn't appreciate and telling her there are other kids that would love to have as nice of things as she does and that they should go to them.

I think being grateful is something you teach them, not something they'll be on their own. I mean, kids are used to be given stuff every time they ask for it from the very moment they are born, so why should they thank you if you don't make it a point to tell them that that's what they should do from a very early age?

I am constantly reminding my son to thank for whatever gift he receives, and if he can't be grateful for what he gets, he gets nothing at all. It may sound harsh, but I can't stand ungrateful kids. He's 3 and a half and he's learnt to be appreciative of what we and others do for him, but it was a process. If he can't be happy with what he gets, then he gets nothing at all and that's it.

Quoting 3 Pumpkins:" wow how did she get like that? maybe just stop giving in to her? maybe have her pick toys to donate to ... [snip!] ... to donate to children who dont have any. donate clothing? seems she needs to be shown that she is a very lucky little girl."

I 100% agree with this. If she realizes how unfortunate others are and how lucky she is it might make her a little more aware and grateful for what she has/gets. How often does she get told "no" when she wants something? I know I've told my kids "I'm sorry but I don't have the money for something extra like that right now." They understand and are happy when I do something special for them. I would be upset if they acted like it was just expected.  

Quoting Lil Dude's Mamma:" I think being grateful is something you teach them, not something they'll be on their own. I mean, kids ... [snip!] ... and others do for him, but it was a process. If he can't be happy with what he gets, then he gets nothing at all and that's it."

I have always taught to be grateful. My daughter has her own personality and even though she is very respectful, and does not get everything she wants, this is a new developement in her personality that is just not flying at home.

I'm kinda shocked you suggested your own kid is spoiled. I think it's not that, just age. Or maybe she just expects things bc she may have always gotten what she wanted? Honestly... it sounds like super serious child or even bored with everything. Not stimulating enough for her. If it's the latter challenge her somehow, if you think you give into what she wants too much that's simple- cut it out. My 3yr old acts like that when we go somewhere, she expects to get something but we set that straight the minute she says "so what do I get for going?" ....Ummm how about nothing but family time. That shuts her up quick. Sounds like she's figuring if she breaks you down you give into what she wants, better toys, more games, w/e it is. I agree with the other posters- don't give in and start taking away. If there's no thank you, please, take it away. Kes says please at least but it's still a very firm "no you don't need anymore toys let's donate some now that I'm thinking about it." -"well then can I have that toy please mama?" "NO how about a time-out when we get home instead for suggesting you need something everytime we go somewhere?" end of convo right there and she's golden the rest of the trip. ... another thing do you practice what you want out of her? Like good manners, please, thank you? We didn't "teach" the kids good manners like that, they kinda just picked it up bc Hubby and I say it all the time to each other or others.

sounds to me like she is just so used to special things being done for her, or expects them and doesnt feel like she needs to appreciate them. IDK, maybe just limit the fun things to like once a week or something?

Quoting sick_girl:" ( Sorry Long) So my LO is turned 4 last month. She is really ungrateful sometimes and i don't know if ... [snip!] ... we spoil her but i don't want her to grow up and be ungrateful for the things she has because we don't have that much. Help!"

She doesn't sound spoiled, she sounds like a very serious child. Which isn't bad, it just sounds like her personality.

I'd definitely scale back wants and that includes hers and yours for her. It sounds like she just needs some perspective and having someone fret over her trying so hard to make her happy is going to backfire in the long run. I'd start doing free things near home for entertainment and keep other things to a minimum so she has time to miss them. I know if I loosen the treat and special things leash on my kids too much, they start expecting it and it makes them seem spoiled and entitled. We've been keeping our special events and junk food and eating out to a minimum to get them back to appreciating when things are different.