re: cheating or leaving a pregnant gf.

Quoting Kaleighshaleigh:" You strongly disagree that a woman should know the character of a man before she sleeps with him?"

I was with my ex for 6 years. I knew him well enough to think he wouldn't beat the smurf out of me in my pregnancy, leave me, or cheat on me.

And im at fault here? Ok.

Quoting кïnga:" I was with my ex for 6 years. I knew him well enough to think he wouldn't beat the smurf out of me in my pregnancy, leave me, or cheat on me. And im at fault here? Ok."

No, I wouldn't say you are at fault, and I'm sorry that you went through that.There are exceptions to every situation. I'm talking about women that choose to have sex and end up pregnant by men that they have only known a couple of days, weeks, or months. Not long enough to really know if they are a loser or not.

Quoting Kaleighshaleigh:" It is his fault for cheating and he is a dirtbag for leaving the pregnancy, but it is just as much her ... [snip!] ... as his for making the decision to have sex with someone that she didn't know was a dirt bag. A consequence of "sexual freedom"."

I disagree... staying with someone you KNOW is acting smurffy makes you at fault. But people change. I don't believe anyone is a dirtbag for leaving a pregnancy, man or woman. Again I say no one should be cornered into pregnancy.

But if someone is winning you over, does you "right" then, you meet their family and friends, and they change after pregnancy? Yeah, you can't foresee that. At all. You can fault someone for not "knowing" a guy after a day, but depending on how much you get into their life within the next few weeks/months, you can get an idea of who they are. It's certainly not the girls fault if the dude changes after pregnancy. The same as a guy with a girl... if she is all fine and dandy and then changes that's not his fault. I knew someone that was with a girl for YEARS, I knew her for ages... then she went nuts and started drinking and doing drugs and neglecting her kids. After about 3-4 years of them being together and me knowing her for about 7-8 years. You cant always tell how someone will change.

Quoting FroggysMommy:" I disagree... staying with someone you KNOW is acting smurffy makes you at fault. But people change. ... [snip!] ... about 3-4 years of them being together and me knowing her for about 7-8 years. You cant always tell how someone will change."

I completely agree. I left my ex twice after finding out that he was a dirt bag and cheating.

Quoting Kaleighshaleigh:" It is his fault for cheating and he is a dirtbag for leaving the pregnancy, but it is just as much her ... [snip!] ... as his for making the decision to have sex with someone that she didn't know was a dirt bag. A consequence of "sexual freedom"."

And it is just as much fault, by your logic, that the man got the woman pregnant in the first place.

You are blaming a woman for getting pregnant, not "keeping her legs closed" as it were, instead of seeing that it takes two to tango.

I know that you're limiting it to "a couple days, weeks, months"... but no amount of time can tell you if someone is going to suddenly change when they are afraid. You are assuming that women are sleeping with men they've known a few days or weeks, instead of understanding that many women know the men very well, are in committed relationships, and then an unplanned pregnancy happens....

And now it's still the woman's fault?

Sorry. Your logic is really misogynistic.


"When a woman chooses to have sex with someone that she doesn't know very well and ends up getting pregnant and finds out he's a dirt bag that cheats and leaves...whose fault is it? Yes, the guy was a dirt bag, but she made the choice to have sex with him." So it's her fault that the man no longer wants to be with her? Relationships fail, whether there's an unplanned pregnancy or not, and people hide who they are all the time, in a variety of situations. It's bullsmurf to blame someone for someone else's actions, I don't care if that person is pregnant (and therefore "to blame") or a woman (and therefore "to blame").

"You strongly disagree that a woman should know the character of a man before she sleeps with him?" Shouldn't a man? Doesn't a man know that sex could equal pregnancy?

"Exactly why more people should show a bit more self control within those moments. Birth control can fail." Yes, PEOPLE. A man knows very well that sticking his penis into a woman's vagina can equal a baby as much as a woman knows it. So how, for smurf's sake, is it the woman's fault when she becomes pregnant? Please explain that to me.

It's sad how much you dislike women that you blame them when someone else breaks their trust, aka, what this whole debate was about, pregnant or not.

Quoting The Doctor:" And it is just as much fault, by your logic, that the man got the woman pregnant in the first place. ... [snip!] ... dislike women that you blame them when someone else breaks their trust, aka, what this whole debate was about, pregnant or not."

i really like you.




 

Quoting SarryBerry:" i really like you.  "

Awwwwh.  

I like you, too. ^_^


*huggles*

Quoting The Doctor:" Awwwwh.   I like you, too. ^_^ *huggles*"

lol    

I've liked a lot of people here lately... you see smurf people and then you see the others that make you think "Ah, people DO have a brain!" and you become happy again!!!!

Quoting FroggysMommy:" I've liked a lot of people here lately... you see smurf people and then you see the others that make you think "Ah, people DO have a brain!" and you become happy again!!!!"

 

It's weird how that happens, how for days or weeks you're just shaking your head at the computer, and then all of a sudden... good peoples!

Quoting The Doctor:" And it is just as much fault, by your logic, that the man got the woman pregnant in the first place. ... [snip!] ... dislike women that you blame them when someone else breaks their trust, aka, what this whole debate was about, pregnant or not."

"And it is just as much fault, by your logic, that the man got the woman pregnant in the first place. " Yes it is two people made the choice to have sex and a pregnancy was the result. It's the fault of both.

You are blaming a woman for getting pregnant, not "keeping her legs closed" as it were, instead of seeing that it takes two to tango...I never said that the guy wasn't also responsible. But the post is talking about teen GIRLS complaining that the guys leave, so my response is going to be regarding the girls and how they should take responsibility for their decision in it. If the OP was talking about the guys then I would say the same thing about the guy that made the choice to leave his pregnant girlfriend. Even if he leaves her he should still take responsibility for the child that he helped create. Because as you say..."it takes two to tango."

You are assuming that women are sleeping with men they've known a few days or weeks, instead of understanding that many women know the men very well, are in committed relationships, and then an unplanned pregnancy happens....No, I'm talking about teen girls (which the OP is talking about) not older women in long term committed relationships.

Sorry. Your logic is really misogynistic.I couldn't disagree more. I see nothing misogynistic about pointing out that a woman should hold herself responsible for the decisions that she's made in her life. She can't control anyone but herself so she needs to take responsibility for her choices and her actions within the situation.

It's bullsmurf to blame someone for someone else's actions, I don't care if that person is pregnant (and therefore "to blame") or a woman (and therefore "to blame"). I'm not blaming the woman because the man left. I'm saying that the woman is responsible for HER actions which resulted in pregnancy. No, she can't control him or what he will do afterward, but she chose to have sex, and that resulted in a pregnancy. And as I asked before...Who is responsible for a woman getting pregnant if it isn't the man and woman who chose to have sex? We can't just blame the guy, right?

"You strongly disagree that a woman should know the character of a man before she sleeps with him?" Shouldn't a man? Doesn't a man know that sex could equal pregnancy? Yes, a man should as well. The woman also knows that sex could equal pregnancy. I don't understand your point.

So how,, is it the woman's fault when she becomes pregnant? Please explain that to me. She chose to have sex with him. that's how it's her fault. Just as it is his fault as well. I never said that it isn't the man's fault as well.

It's sad how much you dislike women that you blame them when someone else breaks their trust, aka, what this whole debate was about, pregnant or not. I don't dislike women....considering I am one...I have also never blamed a woman because a guy left.

My point from the beginning is that a girl should know the guy better before having sex with him, then maybe the OP wouldn't see a lot of posts from 15 year old girls about their Baby daddy leaving. It's immature girls having sex with immature boys and then the girls are surprised when the immature boys freaks out at a pregnancy and leaves. Don't have sex at such a young age with people you barely know. That's my point.

Quoting Kaleighshaleigh:" "And it is just as much fault, by your logic, that the man got the woman pregnant in the first place. ... [snip!] ... boys freaks out at a pregnancy and leaves. Don't have sex at such a young age with people you barely know. That's my point. "

Well, I'm glad that you don't think the way that you presented your argument. But...

My question, then, is when the OP asked about cheating on a pregnant girlfriend, did you automatically jump to "keep your legs closed"?

I can agree that people should know someone before they decide to sleep with them. I'll give you that. But, how does that have anything to do with cheating? People cheat on wives, girlfriends that they've known and been with for years and years. I do NOT think that the amount of time you've been with someone determines your ability to know if someone is going to cheat or not.

So, THAT is why I don't know why you automatically jump to "keep your legs closed". That's just.... icky. That's an icky mind set, IMO. That's putting the blame on the women, instead of on both people that chose to have sex, willingly. There is nothing wrong with consenting to sex, hell, you know what? I do think women should be allowed to have sex with someone they just met... but someone you just met is not going to be your boyfriend... and therefore (by definition) can't cheat.




I'm just trying to follow your logic. Boy and girl are in a relationship, boy cheats on girl (pregnant or not, teen or not) and then "well, the woman should have kept her legs closed" is your argument?