re: anyone else a single mom by choice? like with a donor? just

No, but when I found out I was pregnant this time I knew choosing to keep this baby (my ex and I's second) would amount to me raising the kids alone. We were breaking up. I dithered and dallied but in the end I couldn't go through with an abortion.

Good luck to you, OP.

I have a question, though... what would happen if your sister met someone and wanted to live with them, and your mom met someone and wanted to live with them? Would you still be able to support yourself and your child? I'm just being nosy, feel free to ignore me  

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" You are only 21. Why choose to be a single mother so young and deprive your child of a father? Why not ... [snip!] ... your education first? Give yourself a chance to find mr right? I guess I dont understand it sounds extremely selfish of you"

i always wanted to start my family early. i am almost finished my education, have a well paying job at the moment and am ready for a family.
i don't really think my child is being or will be deprived of anything.. in fact i feel she's better off with a stable family dynamic that isn't going to possibly break up. will i maybe someday meet "mr.right"? maybe. but i'm not really interested in sharing my life with anyone besides my children right now. i am sorry that you feel it is selfish (and of course it is perfectly fine of you to think so) i was simply raised differently. i had no father. i was better off without mine. i never missed it at all. and if she wants to meet him, he has already more than agreed to do so.  

Quoting anonymom + 1.5:" No, but when I found out I was pregnant this time I knew choosing to keep this baby (my ex and I's second) ... [snip!] ... to live with them? Would you still be able to support yourself and your child? I'm just being nosy, feel free to ignore me  "

i have enough to support me and baby is a smaller place yes (obviously since there are so many of us, this place is expensive and has more bedrooms) however, i don't see either of those things happening anytime soon. my mother does not date.. has not dated in over 31 years and does not like men (nor is she a lesbian or is she bisexual) she would also give me much advance warning because that is how our family dynamic works. my sister COULD potentially meet someone (though she hasnt dated in uh.. 10years.. sorry had to remember my nieces age haha) and move out and we would all be very happy for her. but i don't see that happening as she is quite uninterested in dating and especially in long term monogamous dating. either way i'd be very happy for both of them as i do intend to move out myself at some point with baby  

Quoting Shes Here. 4/18/12 &heart:" I am a single mother not by a donor but I guess you could say it was by choice. I had met someone and ... [snip!] ... with dead weight around. I fell if you are financially and emotionally capable of raising a child single or not then go for it."

i completely agree with you. as long as you're capable and willing, why not? i really don't fancy the idea of co-parenting to be honest. this way i know who is raising my child and i know that nobody will be coming in and out of her life. i don't think what you did is selfish. i think good for you   of course your situation is different.

Quoting amotherslove:" i always wanted to start my family early. i am almost finished my education, have a well paying job at ... [snip!] ... better off without mine. i never missed it at all. and if she wants to meet him, he has already more than agreed to do so.   "

so did you and the donor go to court over the papers you drew up?

Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:" so did you and the donor go to court over the papers you drew up?"

nah, we had my lawyer draw them up and we signed them with a witness. to be honest, they were just formalities. if he changes his mind and wants to be in her life i'm very okay with that. and i know i would never go after him for child support. the papers were more there to protect him from things later like students loans for her wanting to know his income etc.   he will just be unnamed on the cert.   i havent any need for his income, i make enough on my own. i mean, i'm by no means rich. we struggle off and on like any other family.. but i don't expect that to change much and it's never more than we can handle (though it will be grand once i'm doing probation officer or parole officer work) i just wanted to be in a closeish age proximity to my children.

well everyone, i was just interested in searching around for other choice-mommies (which is what i discovered many women who take my route of babymaking call themselves  ) it was nice meeting you all and i thank you for the kind words and of course other opinions as well, but my "weekend" has just started  i'm off to watch some movies and eat a taco or two before staying at a friends place.   i may come back, i may totally forget babygaga exists   (i seem to do that.. i can't keep up with baby and bump for the damn life of me.) or i might come back (as i'm quite enjoying that BG notifies me of posts after my posts! ) have a good day ladies  

I'm a single mother. My son was planned by me and his "father" but he walked out. I have thought often of having a donor for another child. I would love to give my son a sibling. I have little desire to go date and like doing it solo.

Quoting ~*My heart is complete*~:" I'm a single mother. My son was planned by me and his "father" but he walked out. I have thought often ... [snip!] ... a donor for another child. I would love to give my son a sibling. I have little desire to go date and like doing it solo."

  if you're ready for another and you're interested in doing it, i say go for it   there are a few websites to help out choicemommies and if you think that you're in for it, ladies all over the country/countries are doing it  

im very sorry to hear your son's father walked out   thats very difficult to get through in my experience. but i bet your son has all he needs in you  

<blockquote><b>Quoting amotherslove:</b>"   if you're ready for another and you're interested in doing it, i say go for it   there are a few ... [snip!] ... son's father walked out   thats very difficult to get through in my experience. but i bet your son has all he needs in you  "</blockquote>




He is everything. I was hurt at 1st but now I see the issues that come with coparenting and see it as a blessing. I do it 100% on myown no state help of any kind. :-) I might one day since I don't want a big age gap.

Quoting amotherslove:" here's the rundown of my story. i got pregnant in august 2011 with my first baby, who i miscarried. but ... [snip!] ... free to ask Q's if you have em   ) anyway, i was just wondering if there are any other single donor mommies out there?   "

my boyfriend has been trying to get me pregnant i wasnt sure if i was ready but if i got pregnant id accept it babies r a joy..... i made him start wearing a condome i had actually considered doing what uve done ....... well we finally stopped the protection and got pregnant.... i have a child already a lil boy whos now 4 his father and i seperated my boyfriend has been in his life since he was 3months old..... now my boyfriend and i r having problems and on the verge of seperating much like u my family too is very supportive and now that im no longer depended on a man i can do this ......in a way any women that carries her child all the way through and gives birth done it by choice so u r not alone cause any man that would leave or allow his girl to leave w no futher contact IN MY BOOK he is considered a DONOR thats what my mom told me my sons father is .... so i wish everyone many luck

I'm glad I found this forum & topic!! My precious baby due to be here in September wasn't planned, but his father and I had a short fling and broke up before I found out. I found out I was pregnant by the time he had a new girl friend. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. He made it pretty clear of all the reasons I shouldnt have kept the baby, so the life making decision came down to me. I knew if I kept him, I'd be doing it by myself. I would have never been able to forgive myself if I chose abortion, regardless of being a brand new 18 year old and still living at home. My mother and family is very supportive. We call my ex "the donor" because thats what kind of relationship we hold now. He doesn't want any updates, pictures, or to talk to me. Which is COMPLETELY fine by me. I'd rather do this the way I'm doin it, rather than waste my time and energy worrying about his immaturity level.

Quoting Aliana:" I'm glad I found this forum & topic!! My precious baby due to be here in September wasn't planned, ... [snip!] ... fine by me. I'd rather do this the way I'm doin it, rather than waste my time and energy worrying about his immaturity level."

congrats and good on you. i honestly think that if you have to pull teeth to make the father even be sortof in the babys life, then it's not worth it.. i'd rather my child be surrounded by loving people who WANT to be there than force someone who doesnt and will probably be a bad influence. my angel babys father told me to get an abortion too, i'm so sorry.. harsh words   i am glad i chose not to, though she left us too soon anyway.