re: Lost a parent?

I lost my dad 19 days before my 19th birthday to Lung Cancer. He was diagnosed in June of '05 and he died in January of '06. I still struggle from time to time. He was my hero and best friend. I hate having to tell DD that my dad is gone when she asks where my dad is.

It's a hard thing to deal with, but with time it gets easier.

I am sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss and all that you have been through. Reading this thread made me cry at the thought of losing my Mom.

My mom passed away April 9th a 6 month battle with bone cancer that spread like wild fire. She was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer is 2003 but beat it for 11 years until the cancer came back in her bones, she was 58 years young. Although our situations are similar I can't tell you "I know exactly how you feel" because I don't. What I do know is that every death is different and people cope in different ways but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here.

my Dad died 23rd of April 2009 of a heart attack, it was a total shock because we was 100% healthy before then and it was the day after his birthday. His passing has left a big void in my life.

My mother died in a car accident on her way to work. She was 40, I was 20.

There is no easy way to get over it. There are no platitudes that help. Really? She's in a better place? Well, we wanted her here! She's no longer suffering? Well, she died on impact, she never suffered. We suffered! Everything happens for a reason? What possible reason could there be for taking a mother from her children at 15, 17 and 20? People are stupid. I didn't want to hear how sad people were, or how they were thinking of me. I wanted my mother. How stupid I felt, being 20 years old and an "adult" and just needing my mommy. But that's what it was, you know? It is impossible to explain to people how you feel, because it is something that you won't understand until you have been there.

What I have learned in the 13 years since I lost my mom? You're not going to get over it. You're never going to wake up and be okay with death. What you will do is learn to live with it. Everything and nothing has changed. I remember very clearly who I was as a person before my mom died. I know very clearly who I am now. It's not the same person. Not better, or worse, just different.

I'm not trying to be a downer, I'm just trying to tell you the things I wish that someone had told me when my mom died. I woke up every day for 7 years thinking, "is this going to be the day when I'm better?" It doesn't work that way. I wasted so much time.

Hope Edelmen wrote a series of books, "Motherless Daughters." "Letters from Motherless Daughters" and "Motherless Mothers." They helped me so much. Writing helped me a lot, but it may not help you. But every single thing you are thinking and feeling right now is normal. You had your mom for how many years? You're not going to learn to live without her in just a few weeks.

My mom passed away July 1st 2008, which is Canada Day, and was my father's 50th birthday also. She had been feeling sick for a little while, so we took her to the hospital, I went with her, they did blood tests (which she had weekly for years due to unexplained severe migraines), and x-rays and determined that she had pneumonia (sp?). Doctor said it was mild so she could still go camping that weekend as they had planned for my dad's birthday party, and off they went! They came home a few days early (the day before she passed) because she couldn't walk or anything on her own and they took her back to the hospital. She was admitted for pneumonia and they decided to fly her to a bigger hospital that's about a 45 minute flight away. We got the call about an hour later that she had passed away on route to the hospital.
After a couple days we got her autopsy results back, it wasn't pneumonia like we had been told, she had cancer in her stomach, lymphnodes (sp?) and lungs. That was the hardest day of my life, and to this day I still hurt. She left behind 6 children when she passed, two of them being very young at the time, my sister was 3 and my brother was 7. We are all making it through, doing so much better as the time goes by, learning how to cope with it and live our lives to the fullest!
I'm truely sorry for your loss!

I just saw this. My dad died 11 years ago, he was 54 and I was 21. It does get easier to live without someone as time goes by, but like other people said, there are days or sometimes even just moments where the pain could still be crippling. I get upset about things sometimes, like he never got to meet my daughter, she has never met him. He didn't get to be a grandfather, which I know he would love. He never met my S/O. He never saw me really become an adult, we can't share a political debate or a funny joke. I'll never hear him play guitar again.

I still truly miss things like that, however I know that it has gotten better, because 11 years ago I wouldn't have been able to type this or talk about him at all. It's just a process. My biggest piece of advice is to just let yourself feel everything. Dont' try to be happy for anyone else' benefit, don't be the strong one. I did those things and it is something that I regret, because I believe it made me take a lot longer to reach this point of being able to talk about happy memories and such.

I'm sorry for your loss. Reading that you found out about the cancer and she was gone 2 days later literally brought a sharp pain to my chest, I cannot imagine having that news delivered and then have it just be over so fast. I'm truly sorry.

im so sorry for your lost melissa

I'm really sorry about your mom. My mom passed away suddenly on 5/9/09. She was 64 and I was 29. I found her. Sometimes things seem ok and if I try really hard not to really think of the fact that she's gone. Sometimes it hits me hard that she's not here and I feel completely devastated all over again. The horrible times get fewer and further between but they're still terrible when they happen.

I was 13 when I lost my mom to lung cancer. It did happen quickly. the year before she went in the hospital had pna and then she grew a tumor on top of her head they biopsied it and her lung and found out she had lung cancer most likely stage 4 . she is missed every day. I am 31 now and the pain is easier and I know that she is watching down on me. the grieving process does take time and I still get emotional. No one can take the place of your mother. My mom was 48 when she passed. If you need someone to talk to let me know. I will always miss my mother but I have accepted now that she is in a better place and not suffering. I dont want to see that for the rest of her life. I feel blessed for every second I had with her because i know there are some people out there never knew their mother or had any relationship with them.

i lost my dad 2 weeks ago and ive never felt so lost and empty in my life ! he was my everything and i had a bond with him i will never find in anyone else ! he was the most perfect father! and to think he will never hold me in his arms again or sing with me to make me happy , makes me feel like dying ..... i need him more than ever now to calm my pain it hurts so much that im hurting because i wont see him here again....

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama Melis:</b>" Hey all. I lost my mom almost 3 months ago. We found out May 7th that she had stage 4 lung cancer, ... [snip!] ... experienced in the healing process? Thank you in advance. My beautiful Mom. Her and I after her mastectomy in January. "</blockquote>




I just lost my mam to lung cancer on July 24th last year it will be a year on Friday since we found she had lung cancer it's also my sons birthday