not sure about my marriage

ughh hes working in the other side of the country right now and refuses to move back where i live. He just says he' s stable there and doesn't like portland anymore. Not that hes tried to find a job here, i think he just doesn't like it here! he always complaining about the people ect..

The problem is i have a son here from my first marriage and we have visitation and stuff agreed upon. Its going to cause issues when i try to move. Just because everyone my son has known his whole life lives here in Portland and it would be a sad thing to take him to a strange place 2000 miles away. if it was 2 hrs away maybe, but 2000miles mm yeah..i dont think thats going to happen. Especially when i know im going to have to go through court battles and thats something i don't want to deal with.

I talked with my husband about this, he calls me stupid for worrying, what does he expect?? thats my son and im making a decision about his future. If he doesn't understand it that maybe i shouldnt be with him?? it shows just how much he really cares about my son.

Should i get rid of my husband? i just dont want to be with him if he refuses to move here.

how long have you guys been married? This is a tough situation

but there is the chance that the court won't let you move. Then what?

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" how long have you guys been married? This is a tough situation but there is the chance that the court won't let you move. Then what?"

im like pretty sure now that i dont want to move but he absolutely refuses to move here. I'll pick my son over him anytime. If he doesnt care about my son and how this will effect him then i really don't want to be with him anymore.
Thats the point where i lose interest

Well if neither of you are willing to move then its not going to work. If i were in the situation i really dont know what i would do. I would want to be with my husband but i wouldnt want to take my son from his family, the only family h e knows either. But if you want your own family then i would do what i had to to get moved out to my husband, if its really what you want.

Quoting Baylee398:" im like pretty sure now that i dont want to move but he absolutely refuses to move here. I'll pick my ... [snip!] ... my son and how this will effect him then i really don't want to be with him anymore. Thats the point where i lose interest"

You're married, not dating. Losin interest isn't really an issue right now.

Think long and hard before making a decision.

Quoting Kelly&Coralie:" You're married, not dating. Losin interest isn't really an issue right now. Think long and hard before making a decision. "

what can i really do with a guy who doesnt give two smurfs about my son? atleast i had the impression at first that he did.

If he cared about me he'd try to move here first but the answer to that hes told me many times is NO.

Jeez. I would lay down the law, man. Either you move here or we're done. Don't drag your kid through court battles and not seeing his family because your current DH, "doesn't like the people" tell him to stop being a little bitch and man up. Everybody lives somewhere where they can complain about the people. What does he think this is? Elementary School?

Quoting Baylee398:" what can i really do with a guy who doesnt give two smurfs about my son? atleast i had the impression ... [snip!] ... at first that he did. If he cared about me he'd try to move here first but the answer to that hes told me many times is NO."

Then get a divorce

What was he like before you were married? Why did you marry him in the first place?

if it isn't going to work, then end it now

Quoting Baylee398:" what can i really do with a guy who doesnt give two smurfs about my son? atleast i had the impression ... [snip!] ... at first that he did. If he cared about me he'd try to move here first but the answer to that hes told me many times is NO."

What was your relationship like before you got married?

You make it sound like you hardly knew him at all  .

Quoting The Great Mustachio:" What was your relationship like before you got married? You make it sound like you hardly knew him at all  ."

This is what I think. They rushed to get married

tell him he is either moves back or its over.
can't believe how much of an ass he is being, not even thinking about your son and the effect that moving him across the country can do to him.

i would rather live in peace with my son and him being able to be around his father and his family.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Baylee398:</b>" what can i really do with a guy who doesnt give two smurfs about my son? atleast i had the impression ... [snip!] ... at first that he did. If he cared about me he'd try to move here first but the answer to that hes told me many times is NO."</blockquote>




Why did yall get married if you feel he gives no smurfs about your son or knowing neither of yall wanted to move?

1. Stop having sex with such an smurf. 2. Get a divorce.

Wow, he calls you stupid? That's terrible.

I'm sorry, but you need to put your foot down. He's gotta work with you on this. I'm sorry, but I really do not see a very loving relationship here.

Quoting Monkey Nuts:" 1. Stop having sex with such an smurf. 2. Get a divorce."

She can't have sex with the smurf if he lives 2000 miles away. Just sayin.

But OP I agree, I'd end it. It doesn't really seem like either of you are willing to work on this marriage, and now all you're doing is fooling yourself.
Feel free to PM me if you like, I'd be happy to offer more guidance on this.   Best of luck to you, dear. You've got a hard choice to make.