Im so upset about this

So Erica is 4 and a half months old and my husband wants to start letting her fall asleep by herself..
so last night.. him and his mom insisted that we put her in the bassinet and let her cry herself to sleep..
i was going crazy.. i couldnt stand hearing her cry.. she was screaming her head off.. and after about 8 minutes or so.. i said.. im going to get her..
The poor thing was crying so hard that she couldnt breath, she had tears all over her face.. and she was sweating so bad..
i dont know what to do... i dont agree with my husband.. but she DOES need to learn how to fall asleep without me rocking her to sleep..
any advise? opinions?

4 1/2 months old is too young for CIO.

I would recommend a schedule so she's in a routine and knows when it's bedtime...that works well for my daughter. But CIO shouldn't be started until closer to a year old.

I was told by my sons pedi that at 6 months let them cry it out that by that age they know what they are doing to test you... but i didnt actually start letting him cry it out till 8months or so, it was him falling asleep in his swing, or id lay him in his pack in play and pat his back till he was asleep

I started CIO with my kids when they were about 5-6 months old.. The most important thing is to ease them into bedtime with a rigid routine and some soothing techniques.. make sure they're fed and bathed.. My kids loved to be massaged with baby lotion - really helped them transition.. And try to keep them in a dimly lit setting for at least an hour before you plan on laying them down..

When you first lay her down and she starts crying, leave her be for 5 minutes and then come back in the room to shush her and pat her to give her a little reassurance.. Don't pick her up and don't stay any longer than 2 minuts.. Then up the time you're gone by 5 minutes until you're up to 15-20 intervals @ checkin in on her..

It's rough and it'll take some time but that's the general CIO method and it's worked for my kids..

aw im so sorrhy the two of you had to go through that thats so sad  

I agree on the bedtime routine thing. Maybe just rock her until shes sleepy and then try setting her in her crib.. maybe turn on a mobile or something so she has something to look at whle she drifts off. tyla is ten weeks old and it works for her she doesnt even cry. i have this thing attached to her crib that has lights and plays music so i will rock her til shes getting sleepy then put her in her crib and she just watches that thing until she falls asleep. best of luck to ya! I don't think I could ever do the CIO stuff!

my son is the same age as your daughter. and he puts himself to sleep at night. we go through this routine : Bath, lotion massage, getting the bed set up for night night time, make the bottle, go into my room, eat the bottle, burp, and then we snuggle til he is calmed down and drowsy, and then i go and kiss him goodnight and put him in his bed. if he ever has troubles and crys then i go back in and pick him up rock him for a bit and then put him back down. its a wonderful routine. and he has responded really well with it. i would really try the routine thing. hope this helps!

Talk with her doctor. My daughter's doctor help me start a plan at 4 mos.I did cio at 4 mos.

thanks for your replies ladies... this is just so hard.. and i dont think i can do it.. i would just rather put her to sleep in my arms.. but i know it will be better in the long run if we start this now..  

cio is not for everyone. You have to do what feels right for you. read some books on sleep I really liked the baby whisperer. It was a good book I did not read it untill a month or two ago so it was to late. Im going to put our next baby on this plan. Here is a website for it it might have info if not you can talk to other moms who do it.
http://www.babywhisperer.com/smf/index.php