saying goodbye

I found out at my 20 week sono that my baby had a rare tumor growing on his back. We were sent to a specialist and told that we should terminate the pregnancy and that the survival rate is not that high. Once he was born we would have to have surgery to remove the tumor and that is hard on a baby that is just born. We decided to go on with the pregnancy (I don't like abortion, it was just not an option for me) Well I was 6 months yesterday and found out that he had passed away. It happened either that day or on Sunday. I will be going in to have a c-section in a couple of days. Going to the doctor today to discuss my options. I am not sure what all that means. I am just so sad right now. I really wanted him to make it. I am wondering if anyone can tell me what to expect at the hospital when i deliver a stillborn. they estimate his weight at a little over a pound not including the tumor. That is the size of his body so very big. Thanks for any input  

sorry I forgot to put the reason he passed away. He went into heart faliure because his little heart could not supply both the tumor and his body with enough blood. It was just working to hard.

I am so sorry for your loss, You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers

I can't tell you what to expect or anything, but I will let you know you are in my prayers. I'm terribly sorry for your loss, but admire the fact that no matter what, you were willing to give your baby a chance.

I can't offer any help but, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine where I'd be if I lost my little man, especially this far along. If you need to talk to anyone, I'm on all the time.

Quoting sarak:“ I found out at my 20 week sono that my baby had a rare tumor growing on his back. We were sent to a specialist ... [snip!] ... faliure because his little heart could not supply both the tumor and his body with enough blood. It was just working to hard.”

I had a c-section with my first child, but when I lost my son at 17 weeks they allowed me to deliver naturally. I don't know if it is because of the tumor that they want to do a C-section on you, but you shouldn't have to go through major surgery. That's just my opinion I'm not a doctor.

I'm sorry for your loss. I wish I had something wise to say.

i had to have an emergency c-section with my first so this baby was already going to be delivered by c-section but the doctor told me that because of where the tumor is that I would not be able to have him natural. Thank you everyone for your kind words.

First let me say I am very sorry for your loss,and that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. My very good friend lost a baby about 1 1/2 ago.She was induced to deliver him a few days later. She said it was very quiet in the room and it just seemed so odd to her because their were no monitors or anything for the baby. The staff gave her the option of holding and photographing her baby. They took his footprints for her. I am sure each hospital is slightly different.

Quoting Tracy Ann:“ First let me say I am very sorry for your loss,and that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. My very ... [snip!] ... option of holding and photographing her baby. They took his footprints for her. I am sure each hospital is slightly different.”

First of all, I am very sorry to hear about your loss.
This (what TracyAnn said) sounds very similar to what I went through. Im sure it will be different since you will be having a csection though. My biggest advice would be to mentally prepare yourself for what is going to ensue once you have your surgery. Sounds silly, but when this happened to my husband and I, although everyone said they were sorry to hear of our loss, they kind of bombarded us with all of their procedural things. They immediately after the birth handed us a huge packet and asked us what our funeral arrangement decisions would be. They asked if we wanted photographs with the baby. Footprints, and all of that.
We of course opted to do so, but it was like nothing we had thought about so it was a little overwhelming.
I would just say that if you prepare yourself and try to decide things like this before hand, it may be better so that you have time to grieve and cherish the few moments you get to spend with your baby if you so desire.
Sorry this is probably rambling but that would be my advice. If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to PM me. Good luck with everything, and I wish you a speedy recovery.

I am so sorry for your loss. Did you have a c section with your daughter? I am just wondering because it would probably be easier on your body to be induced and deliver vaginally...less recovery time. It's going to be hard at the hospital, I won't lie. Hopefully your hospital is caring and understanding. I would tell your doctor ahead of time what YOU want to have happen. Do you want to hold your son? Dress him? Pictures? Make sure your doctor knows especially if you will be out from the c section. They will most likely give you pamphlets on still birth and possibly some sort of memento. RIP sweet little boy.

Quoting newazmom (Jenell):“ I am so sorry for your loss. Did you have a c section with your daughter? I am just wondering because ... [snip!] ... the c section. They will most likely give you pamphlets on still birth and possibly some sort of memento. RIP sweet little boy.”

yeah i did have a c-section with my first. They told me the size and place of the tumor is the reason I can not deliver vaginally.

so sorry for your loss honey....

i'm sorry i can't help answer your question but, i send your family my thoughts in your time of need

Quoting sarak:“ I found out at my 20 week sono that my baby had a rare tumor growing on his back. We were sent to a specialist ... [snip!] ... faliure because his little heart could not supply both the tumor and his body with enough blood. It was just working to hard.”

I'm so sorry.. (((hugs)))