Babies daddy not in the picture and boyfriend wants to step

Ok so here is the short version of what i need advice on and please don't make comments if you are must gonna be rude. My babies biological sperm donor as I refer to him as, since he has been absent since two days after finding out for sure i was pregnant, and I do not speak not because i cut off communication but because he doesn't want anything to do with me or our son. Last time I spoke to him at all was a brief conversation on April 21st where he begged me to have an abortion which i refused of course. he then went to call me every name in the book and then he left after packing up the rest of his stuff that was at my house and he left. I now live in a different state than him. He doesn't call, write, email or text when he has numbers to reach me at, my address, and he even still has me as a friend on facebook but refuses to speak to me. I have given up, so I have been dating this really nice guy for a few months now and he loves me and my son. Is is wrong to allow my boyfriend to be a part of my sons life when his sperm donor doesn't want to be? And how do i deal with the fact that my sperm donors mother wants to be a part of her grandsons life even when my sperm donor is not? Im so confused and lost honestly.....wish things were different but they aren't so advice would be appreciated.

P.S, This is the short version, Im not saying that im innocent I just don't know how to deal with a boyfriend who wants to be there and a biological sperm donor who does not wanna be, and we were never married. More to the story but well you know there always is.

Is sperm donor on the bc?

If you think that this guy is going to seriously be in your life and stay in your life for a long while, then I don't see why he shouldn't be able to be there for you guys.

Honestly I would let the BF be there in your son's life. He might turn out to be a great father and you could see it for yourself. More so if you decide to have more kids with the current BF. Your Ex wants nothing to do with your son and here is someone willing to step in and take the roll. A boy needs a father figure. I think it might be in his best interest for him  

I was in a similar situation and I ended up married the guy who I am currently with now and expecting our 2nd baby together  

I mean its great boyfriend wants and adores you guys but he is just a boyfriend and they come and go to be honest.But if he is a good guy I dont see anything wrong with it though and if the childs grandmother wants to be a part don't cut her out.

I don't think you should put the new boyfriend on the BC. Your son should get your last name. But i don't see anything wrong with this man being in you & your sons life. As long as you make it clear when your son gets older that he is not his real dad. SO's mom didn't tell SO that her husband wasn't his dad until he was 9yrs old & it broke his heart.

sperm donor will not be on the birth certificate, I am getting full custody of my son at birth based on previous events, such as his giving his other two kids alcohol, they are 2 and 5 from a previous marriage. He also has made it very clear he doesn't want anything to do with us. My boyfriend on the other hand wants to be very hands on with Mitch as in he wants to be there for him and love him and support us financially. I just am so confused on how to have my sperm donors mom get to know her grandson but not make it all awkward for me and my boyfriend

It's not wrong at all to have your boyfriend involved in your son's life. Especially when the bio dad isn't involved. My SO is a wonderful influence on my son. My son's dad is legally involved but he makes no effort to see our son, not much anyways. My SO is the only positive male role model my son has in his life.

You can include the bio dad's mother if she wants to be involved. Set up an arrangement for visits, etc. My son sees his dad's mom more than he sees his dad. She's not fantastic but she's not a horrible grandma. She takes him every so often. She actually just had him for a week earlier this month.

Quoting Annette Topham:" Honestly I would let the BF be there in your son's life. He might turn out to be a great father and you ... [snip!] ... I was in a similar situation and I ended up married the guy who I am currently with now and expecting our 2nd baby together  "

congrats! yeah that was kinda my thinking its just that my boyfriend doesn't understand that I will eventually have to tell Mitch (my son) who his biological father is even if hes not in his life because he was the sperm donor after all.

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Considering your child isn't even here, I think you're overly stressing out about this. The father doesn't want to be apart of it now, but maybe after the little one is born, he'll come around. If not, that shouldn't mean that his mother can't see her grandchild. As for the boyfriend? The relationship is still pretty new. That's cool that he wants to be involved and all, but he has zero legal obligation to stick around after the little one is born, so I wouldn't depend on him much.

I don't see the harm in letting your boyfriend be around your son as long as it is serious. Also I wouldn't keep your son's biological grandmother out of his life just because her son is an ass. Now if she is a crazy bitch then yeah I would probably avoid her but if not then I would let her. I mean if your son had a kid but wasn't with the mother (for whatever reason) wouldn't you want to be a part of your grandchild's life?

Quoting Janel&Kyle+1♥:" I don't think you should put the new boyfriend on the BC. Your son should get your last name. But i don't ... [snip!] ... he is not his real dad. SO's mom didn't tell SO that her husband wasn't his dad until he was 9yrs old & it broke his heart."

I am leaving the father spot on the BC blank. but in the baby book i am putting information about the sperm donor so eventually he will know about him. even though he will never know him.

Quoting Momma Rawks:" Considering your child isn't even here, I think you're overly stressing out about this. The father doesn't ... [snip!] ... and all, but he has zero legal obligation to stick around after the little one is born, so I wouldn't depend on him much."

Not really stressing too much for the fact that my sperm donors mom has been trying to get me to let her be in the delivery room( not gonna happen) but my boyfriend doesnt get why i would even allow her to see Mitch. And if i don't figure something out now when little mitch is here then i will have a baby stuck in the middle.

Also, I was raised by my mom and stepdad. He was a wonderful man and father to me. They were together since I was a year old. I knew from the beginning he wasn't my bio dad but I called him dad after a few years. Just be honest with your son, you don't need to go into too much detail while they're young. But I wouldn't wait until he's 18 or anything to tell him. Especially if his grandma is involved.

Quoting 1inpink2inblue:" I don't see the harm in letting your boyfriend be around your son as long as it is serious. Also I wouldn't ... [snip!] ... your son had a kid but wasn't with the mother (for whatever reason) wouldn't you want to be a part of your grandchild's life?"

only thing that worries me is she has threatened to take my son at birth because she wants to raise him.