I'm sad...

...and I don't know why. I was absolutely elated when my husband and I brought our brand new baby home, but now I'm really struggling with my emotions. I know it's normal to have ups and downs PP, but my ups and downs have really been taking control of me. Part of why I'm having such a hard time is that my father passed away, and it's been hard knowing that he's missing out on meeting his granddaughter. My husband's parents are still alive, and I can't help but feel jealous when I see his dad playing with Ella. I keep finding myself randomly crying hysterically over the smallest things (or over absolutely nothing at times), and it's really gotten to the point where it's getting in the way of getting through a day. Has anyone else experienced this? Am I losing my mind?

If it is affecting your ability to function during the day, then it could be PPD. Have you talked to your dr?

Quoting mommybrain:“ If it is affecting your ability to function during the day, then it could be PPD. Have you talked to your dr?”

No, not yet. I left her a message today asking her to call me back, but it was after the office had closed for the day. I'm sure I'll hear from her tomorrow morning.

Im so sorry you are having such a hard time.
I went through the baby blues.

If you can talking to a doctor can help.
Best of luck to you!

You are going through a really tough situation...so really, step outside of it and you'll see that you can't get mad at yourself for feeling that way! I feel like that's part of the cycle...we beat ourselves up for what we are feeling! It would be a good idea to get some help outside of your situation...but be careful...when I talked to my doctor about my feelings for 2 minutes she prescribed some meds just like that. I opted not to take them and talked to a therapist for a while. It seemed to help just to be able to talk to someone I didn't know who was willing to listen.

Just know that your dad would be so happy for you and would want you to be happy, even without him...maybe part of the healing process for you would be to make your little one a scrap book of her grandpa including pictures and your favorite stories of him so that your little girl will at least have an idea of who he was and what he means to you!!

Quoting January S.:“ No, not yet. I left her a message today asking her to call me back, but it was after the office had closed for the day. I'm sure I'll hear from her tomorrow morning.”

I had PPD with my first, and it made everything sooooo much harder than it needed to be. I never wanted to leave the house, all I wanted to do was sleep, and taking care of my own child felt like a burden.It was awful. Thankfully, I didn't need medication; talking to someone and quitting breastfeeding (I wasn't producing enough) helped tremendously and was all I needed. It is great that you took that first step and called your dr. If you need someone to talk to, I'm always here (literally!).  

Thanks so much ladies. I was really starting to think that I was a bad person for not just being super happy all the time after bringing my daughter home. I'm glad, too, to know that I'm not the only one who's experienced this.

Well, we are here for you!! And your little one is sooooo cute!

Quoting Excited for #2!!:“ Well, we are here for you!! And your little one is sooooo cute!”

Thanks  

Her smiling face definitely does brighten my day.

How long ago did your father pass?
My stepdad passed away almost two years ago, and the biggest thing that disappoints me/makes me sad is the fact that he's not here to see his first grandson. When I see my dad holding him, I can't help but wish that it was my stepdad instead (I was super close with my stepdad... my real dad wasn't really there at all until I was 15). And after he passed, seeing fathers with their children... any age, whether the 'child' was a baby or 40 years old... made me really jealous/depressed. I'm guessing the fact that he isn't there is most of your problem... I would completely lose it at random times for no reason after my stepdad died, and then I realized there was a reason, it just didn't seem like it at the time.

You need to find someone to talk to... first try your doctor, but it doesn't have to be a doctor or anything. I never saw a doctor, counsellor, etc. and I've done much better talking to my husband, my mom, and people that knew my stepdad, because I can talk to them, cry on them, and hear stories about him from before I knew him, stories from when he was at work, when he was younger, etc. It really helped a lot, and I definitely suggest finding someone else that was close to him that you can talk to.

Quoting DRD:“ How long ago did your father pass? My stepdad passed away almost two years ago, and the biggest thing ... [snip!] ... younger, etc. It really helped a lot, and I definitely suggest finding someone else that was close to him that you can talk to.”

It was in 1999, so quite a while ago. I would have thought that, being that it was so long ago, it would have gotten easier by now, but it really hasn't. I'm really sorry to hear about your loss, too. I understand how hard it is to lose someone so close to you. Thanks for the advice, too. It's good to know that I'm not the only one having a hard time with this.

Quoting January S.:“ It was in 1999, so quite a while ago. I would have thought that, being that it was so long ago, it would ... [snip!] ... someone so close to you. Thanks for the advice, too. It's good to know that I'm not the only one having a hard time with this.”

It's never easy losing a parent... when my stepdad died, it was 3 days after my wedding (he walked me down the aisle, my own "father" wasn't there). It's gotten a lot easier for me, especially in the past year... I was even surprised at how little it bothered me during my pregnancy, but now that my son is here I think about him all the time. Every little thing my son does, I think "dad would be so proud of you". Right from the time he found out my husband and I were engaged, he was talking about when we had his grandkids and all the silly things he was gonna teach them and everything, so it's really hard to think about him not being around, and I'm constantly thinking about what it would be like if he was still here, how happy and proud he'd be. When we found out I'd be due in May, the first thing we thought was that maybe he'd come on my stepdad's birthday but it ended up being a couple weeks before, heh.

I definitely know how it is... sometimes it seems like it was so long ago, you've almost forgotten. Sometimes it seems like it just happened yesterday all over again. Like I said, try to find someone - anyone - that you can talk to about him. Someone that you can cry on, share stories with, etc. It made me feel a lot better, and I'm still hearing stories about him that I never would have believed were true, haha.

Quoting DRD:“ It's never easy losing a parent... when my stepdad died, it was 3 days after my wedding (he walked ... [snip!] ... etc. It made me feel a lot better, and I'm still hearing stories about him that I never would have believed were true, haha.”

Luckily, my husband can be that support for me to talk to, cry on, etc. He's really supportive and understanding, and I know that he wants to help (though I haven't let him know what a hard time I've been having. I know that a lot is weighing on his mind, and I don't want to add anything else). I hope that you have someone in your life that can be your support now, too.