Jinxing it

So I had Gabriel on the 8th at 24 and 3 days. He is in the NICU and I'm not sure what I should do. My husband is military and we went from a 4 income family (we both worked 80 hours a week; We refuse to sit on governemtn aid we want to give our little guy the best of everything too) to now a 1 income (the military) because we need to be on call 24-7 incase something happens to Gabriel.

I know that I could really use all the help that his unit is offering. Free baby clothes and accessories, diapers and anything else I con't already have. But I am scared to death that by accepting all of these gifts that I will jinx it and he will die.

Now I know that is silly, but I just can't shake the bad feeling. I try not to think about it but it seems like I am so distracted anymore by the baby that I can't do anything else.

Aww sweetie...your precious little one...

You both paid sooooooooo much in taxes working your 80 hours a week...think of it as just getting back the money you paid!! That's all you're doing. Wish I could give you a hug!!!

You won't jinx it. I promise. I thought the same thing. I was sooo afraid to hope for anything good. You should check out my profile and pics of my little man.

Quoting ~Ali~:“ So I had Gabriel on the 8th at 24 and 3 days. He is in the NICU and I'm not sure what I should do. My ... [snip!] ... feeling. I try not to think about it but it seems like I am so distracted anymore by the baby that I can't do anything else.”

Aw hun, firstly have an *E-HUG*.

Now, you guys are working for your country and you are entitled to every cent in a situation like this. You need to keep yourself safe and well, both emotionally and physically, right now for the sake of your little one. Taking Gov aid for a few weeks now has no affect on your babys future and it certainly doesnt mean you cant go back to earning the best for him in the future. Right now you have to take care of yourselves and if that means taking help then so be it!! Taking Gov aid may be the best choice for your child right now - after all, baby NEEDS you to be healthy and as stress free as possible - you are doing him NO favours by stressing about money!! You have a long road ahead of you and you cant fall apart over things that will not help you.

More than likely your lil one will not be wearing clothes until hes over 4lbs, so do not worry about clothes. Micro preemies dont wear all the clothes like term babies, usually just a little vest or sleeper is plenty as they have the incubator for warmth. If you are allowed, then for comforts sake you would just need a couple of sleepers that you can wash and change. The ones with velcro are easiest as the staff need easy and quick access to the baby incase of any emergencies. These gowns are pretty good;
http://www.babylinq.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=42

Its totally normal to be so consumed with thoughts and worries for your new baby. I know how scary it is, how you feel numb but terrified,overwhelmed yet stilldesperate for information. You just have to take one day at a time.

Hows he doing right now? meds, weight, breathing etc

Things will calm down and stabilise soon and then you will find you adjust and get used to things. We've been in nicu for many many months, (our son was 700 odd grams at his lowest), so if you have any questions about anything just ask! Best thing is to stay calm, spend as much time with him as you can each day and rest as much as you can.

(this is some of our story; http://forum.baby-gaga.com/about137546-1.html#3446997)

Quoting ~Ali~:“ So I had Gabriel on the 8th at 24 and 3 days. He is in the NICU and I'm not sure what I should do. My ... [snip!] ... feeling. I try not to think about it but it seems like I am so distracted anymore by the baby that I can't do anything else.”

I know how you feel. My baby girl Gabriella was born at 28 weeks. Well I am happy to say she is home! Your baby may take longer to come home. Gabby spent 6 weeks in the NICU! The advice I can give you is take every day slowly. Don't think about the future, think about that day. I am sure your baby will be fine, you also have to be strong for your baby. As long as your baby doesn't have any health issues he should do good. How much did he weigh. Gabby weighed 2lbs 10.7ounces. Yeah she was tiny, but I saw smaller babies than mine make it. There was a baby that weighed a little less than a pound and well she made it! Just have faith! God will see your faith, and he will help you! My daughter, thank god didn't have any health problems, well she has a heart murmer. Just give your baby all the love he needs. When you are able to ask to do skin to skin, that helps out a lot. I will pray for you and your family! I know God will take away all your problems and help out your baby boy!

I know how hard it is, but this is your baby. Don't hold back on loving him or hoping for him. Getting little things for your son and organizing them and what not might actually help you. Your role as a mommy is so small when the baby is in the NICU. It made me feel better to plan for my children at home. It also helped me picture a positive future. What happens will happen, you won't jinx it. Good luck momma.

Quoting Jessica [Slvrmoon]:“ I know how hard it is, but this is your baby. Don't hold back on loving him or hoping for him. Getting ... [snip!] ... my children at home. It also helped me picture a positive future. What happens will happen, you won't jinx it. Good luck momma.”

planning for home has actually been really harmful for me, because months on i look at the nursery furniture, moses basket etc and it breaks my heart to still not be using it. With a 24 weeker you can never tell how long the hospital stay will be. I can totally understand what you mean though. I was really deeply hurt when none of my friends bought ds anys gifts or gave us congratulations - i even overhead them saying they didnt want to buy anything because he would probbly die anyway - i have never been so disappointed by anyone or felt so hurt. From that moment i realised how much gifts and /or a couple of baby clothes mean so much - not so they can actually be used, just so you have things to create memories and keepsakes, no matter what happens down the line.

Quoting twinmami:“ planning for home has actually been really harmful for me, because months on i look at the nursery furniture, ... [snip!] ... so they can actually be used, just so you have things to create memories and keepsakes, no matter what happens down the line.”

This is true. With my first daughter, we had NOTHING for her, so we were very busy with actually going out and purchasing the things, setting them up and so on. With my son, his whole nursery was completely set up and he had everything he needed. I'd just come home from the hospital and sit in his room and cry. It is a painful reminder when it's all just sitting there waiting, but when you need to do things to get it to that point, I think it helps. I guess it's a fine line to walk....I still say take the things though =)

You need to think positive as hard as that is..The first few days my baby was born they gave me no hope..Every time I would call the nicu they would say well she's not taking well to her medicine to help develop her lungs.That she just wasnt getting worse!!.Then she spiked a fever..When they let me see her she was under the blue light and her face was covered n she had tubes in her nose and she was just tiny..I would cry every second..It's hard..I would cry myself to sleep and wake up with my eyes swollen shut..I didnt wana speak to any1, and what made it worse is that my roomy had her baby in the room the entire time...I realized I needed to get myself together for my baby, she needed her mama to bestrong in the nicu, and that i became..When i got discharged i went home n picked myself up..I went to the nicu everyday, was there morning till night..6weeks later she came home. The first few weeks feel like a life time, but it really went by fast...Dont feel like it will be a jinx..Think that soon ur baby will be home and needs this stuff...keep your head up mama...