I had an abortion now I worry about my unborn child

I had an abortion 4 years ago this december. I still think about it and I still grieve for the child I will never hold. I am at peace with the decision I made, I know for my life and family that it was the best choice, at the time though, I was pushed into the decision by my ex-SO. Now, I am expecting a daughter in Sept. I worry about karma and keep having dreams something is wrong with the birth or the baby. I don't know why I feel so guilty (more now than I have since right after I went through with it), I just am hoping and praying God (the higher power) doesn't judge me for something I didn't even really want in the first place, but I can't get rid of the feeling that the dreams are more then just dreams. Can anyone relate?

It is a common fear mamma. I am sure your lo will be just fine. If GOD is really all knowing and all forgiving then he understands that what you did you did because you had to.

You did what you needed to do at the time. I don't think anyone, even God, would condemn you for this.

I'm sorry I can't relate but I wanted to tell you that you wont find any bad karma as you did nothing wrong or malicious - you made the right decsision at the time and you will not get punished for it. I suggest you see a counsiller to try and overcome your guilt - much love and compassion xxx

At the time you made the best decision for YOU, and that happened to be 4 years ago. Its not like you had an abortion and got pregnant 6 months later. You've grown, im sure you have matured , your... i'm assuming in a better healthier relationship. Enjoy your pregnancy mama, you decided to keep this baby for a reason.

That is how I felt when I was pregnant with my son a couple years after mine... it's normal. Don't beat yourself up over it. Try and leave the past behind you and enjoy this pregnancy.

Quoting Mrs. Hemsworth ♥:" That is how I felt when I was pregnant with my son a couple years after mine... it's normal. Don't beat yourself up over it. Try and leave the past behind you and enjoy this pregnancy."

That is more helpful then you know. I know deep down this is silly but I can't control my dreams so I feel a little helpless so it's nice to know I'm not alone.

To everyone else thank you for the kind words and support. I believe in a peaceful god but I am also pro-choice (my choice being life) and never thought this would be something I was having to deal with, especially 4 years later.

Quoting SALTnLIME:" That is more helpful then you know. I know deep down this is silly but I can't control my dreams so ... [snip!] ... (my choice being life) and never thought this would be something I was having to deal with, especially 4 years later."

Never alone.
*hugs*

I felt the same way after my abortion as well. I now have a healthy two year old, and am due anytime with my second.
Your not alone in your feelings